November 13th, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
When you have a challenge in your life—what do you say to yourself about it? Do you say “Here we go again—why does this stuff always happen to me?” One of the things that I have learned over the years is that how we frame what is happening will shape our experience of it. It can be very helpful to shift into a perspective that says “I trust that there is a gift here for me–even though I can’t see what it is.” The gift will be in the form of a healing, a new insight, a shift in perspective–a transformation in a relationship. The gift is always there–it is just being open to see it. It can take some practice to do this—particularly if something is really challenging for you—and a gift is about the last thing you think will come out of it. But the interesting thing is that the bigger the challenge–the bigger the gift.
See if you can shift your thinking around a challenge you are experiencing and ask yourself “What is the gift here for me.”
November 12th, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
I know I have talked about this before but it is such an important inner dynamic with self-esteem—and that is self-judgement. How you are feeling about yourself throughout the day will be determined by your inner dialogue–if it is loving and supportive or critical. The self-judgement at times can be so subtle that you may not even be aware of it. At the “I am Fabulous” Workshop that I did a few weeks ago–I had everyone draw a wheel and for each of area of their life color in that wedge how satisfied they were with that area of their life. What was interesting is that some people had the realization that they had wonderful things going on in their life but their own self-judgement kept them from experiencing and letting these good things in. Notice if this is the case for you. Do you have some wonderful things happening in your life—but your own self-judgement is blocking your enjoyment of these things. See if you you can let go of the judgements and let the good in! You’ll be amazed and how your life can shift by doing this simple change.
Let go of self-judgement and let the good in!
November 5th, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
I woke up this morning with this song floating in my mind:
“I love myself so much, That I can love you son much, That you can love you so much, That you can start loving me.”
This is a chant from the Agape Church in Los Angeles, CA. The church was founded by Michael Beckwith–who you may recognize from the movie “The Secret”. I was on a personal growth cruise in October and Michael–along with his wife Rickie Byars Beckwith–gave a service every morning. They blew everyone away with how loving and inspirational they both were—pure emodiments of unconditional love. I bought a CD that has this song and other wonderful songs.
We sang this song at the “I am Fabulous” workshop. My assistant at the Workshop teased me and said it reminded her of a Seasme Street song!! I said –”whatever works, I am using it!” I love the words of the song and I have found that singing positive statements helps the message get in on a much deeper level. At the workshop we had everyone come up with a postive affirmation that they really wanted to absorb–and we put it to a tune and recorded it for them to take home and listen to over and over. It was so much FUN!
So think of what loving message you want to give yourself and put it to a catchy tune–and watch this message get absorbed and lift your Spirit! Let me know what you come up with!!
November 3rd, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
Hello! I hope you are having a great weekend! I am in Florida visiting my Mom and I am enjoying the SUN here. I feel like I am a solar panel absorbing all the the rays for the coming winter in Wisconsin!
My Mom has been very challenged in taking care of my 92 Grandfather who is in a nursing home. This has been affecting her own health because she has done—what many, many people do in this situation–that is neglect her own self-care.
Over the years I have gained incredible respect for people who are in the role of care-giver for a loved one who is either sick or in a nursing home. One of the things that I encourage people in that role to do is to take extra care of themselves while they are in the care-giver role. Rather than losing sight of their own self-care as they in the care-giving role—I encourage them to make sure they are taking really good care of themselves. I have learned that it is little self-care things that can make a huge difference.
When I was caring for my Dad after a high risk surgery I would make sure I got enough sleep, ate healthy meals througout the day, walk outside to get some sunshine and tag team with family members to get a mental break from the situation. I also made sure I was staying connected to my spiritual support–praying, reading inspirational books, feeling the loving support from my spiritual connection reminding me that all was well–even though at moments it didn’t appear that things were. At the most intense times I would call the Unity prayer line to connect with a reassuring voice that would help calm me with uplifting prayers that would help me shift into feeling the peace of my own spiritual connection. I also watched what I told myself about the situation—I could think thoughts that would increase the stress I was feeling or think calming/reassuring thoughts that would decrease the stress.
We all have periods of time when we are in the care-giving role. These are the most crucial times to be practicing self-care. It is easy to let it slide because of the stress and intensity of the situation. Remind yourself that your self-care is vital and will allow you to be a more present and healthy care-giver to your loved one. Reach out for help and support to those around you at the times it feels overwhelming. If you are not used to doing this—it is a good time to learn–because if you don’t reach out for support you are at risk of getting burned out.
If you are not in the care-giver role right now –think of someone you know that is going through that experience and call them to see if you can help out in any way. They will greatly appreciate your reaching out to them and it will make a huge difference in their lives.
Remember to love yourself as you are loving and caring for others.