May 29th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
What I have noticed in working with clients over the years is that many people have difficulty holding their own in a relationship. What I mean by this is taking 100 % responsibility for their happiness and holding true to the highest vision for their life and relationships. People can have sense when their partner is on a different path and maybe doesn’t have the same type of dedication to growth that they have. In response to this–they may do a variety of things to deal with this. The most common thing can be to start holding themselves back from their own growth. They sense that if they keep growing that they will “grow” out of the relationship. So they make a decision that they are willing to hold themselves back, rather than lose the relationship. They ended up bringing themselves down.
When I work with a client who is doing this–I have them look at the consequence of doing this. Typically they start to struggle with depression and or anxiety. It takes a lot to hold their own energy back–and typically they will start to feel very drained from this. The origin of doing this can come from their childhood. In order to get their parents’ approval they had to be more of who their parents wanted them to be–rather than who they truly are. They actually are used to holding themselves back in a relationship because they started doing this at a young age. The belief underlying this pattern is “I can’t be all that I came here to be and be loved too–I have to hold myself back to keep my relationships.”
I encourage them to love themselves for who they truly are—and commit to allowing themselves to be all that they came here to be. They will not really know the truth of their relationship until they do this. I have seen the other partner in this kind of relationship “rise up” and start to grow as well when their partner holds their ground in their own growth. They will never know if this is a possibility until they do this. If they do embrace themselves fully and not hold themselves back—move forward in their lives—and their partner continues to stay stuck for a period of time–they will know that they did everything they could to give the relationship a chance. They can walk away with peace—opening up to a healthier connection with someone with a similar commitment to growth.
May 23rd, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
We had a great call Tuesday night–”Boost Your Confidence: 5 Simple Ways to Shine.” I gave a tele-class presentation on the inner dynamics of self-confidence and shared powerful processes to boost confidence. These are processes that I have used with clients for years to help them successfully be more confident. I also reviewed the dynamics of self-doubt and self-sabotage and gave tools to release these blocks. Don’t worry if you missed the call—I recorded it and you can order it here—I have included an article and a Self-Care Checklist with the recording as well.
Enjoy your upcoming Holiday weekend!
May 20th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
In keeping with my latest article in the newsletter “How To Have Your Best Summer Ever” (see the previous post)–I decided to get a head start on my summer fun and take my first road trip of the Spring/Summer!
This past Saturday my friend Kathleen and I—and the boys (our two dogs Niyo and Cloud:)–took a day trip up to Peninsula State Park–a state park on Lake Michigan (In Door County). We went to see the forget-me-knots at the park–and to walk in the woods by the water. The weather was perfect. Here are some photos of our day.
We stepped off the walking trail to get closer to the water–isn’t it beautiful!
Niyo (my dog) was scared of the waves–he would lay in the water like above and then when a wave would come he would jump up as if to say “What the heck was that!!”
Look at that sky!
The sky would change so quickly this is just minutes after the previous photo.
I love the clouds in this picture.
Here is Kathleen and Niyo in the car after our hike.
Niyo inside the car saying “Mom, whatcha doing?”
Kathleen suggested we go to the Chef’s Hat in Ephraim, WI– which is owned by our friend Mary Joyce’s son, Todd. He is a wonderful chef!
Here is Kathleen with her Salmon Sandwich—it looked great–that is what I am getting next time we go:)
And yes, to top it off we couldn’t miss going to Wilson’s Ice Cream Shop–I had my favorite Mackinaw Island Fudge ice cream cone.
What road trips to you have planned for your summer? Or what are your favorite road trips you have taken in the past? I would love to hear from you!
May 1st, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
“Faith is the ability to see the invisible–to believe in the incredible. That is what enables you to receive what the masses think is impossible.” Clarence Smithison
Opening up to the highest possibilities in our life takes courage and commitment. There can be a lot of negative naysayers in the media—or in your own life that have limited beliefs about what is possible in life. There are also your own negative conditioning that you have absorbed from your family and the culture. It can be hard to sort through all of this to find the light of your own dreams.
Once you find the light of your own dreams it is important to stay focused on this and move forward with faith and trust. Embracing this big dream opens up the world of ideas and inspiration to the manifestation of the dream. You will not get these ideas and inspiration until you first embrace and believe yourself that it is possible. It means setting your internal dial on “Anything is Possible” and keeping it there—no matter what. As things are re-arranging themselves in support of manifesting your dream it may appear on the surface that something is going “wrong” and that your dream is not possible. That is the most important time to not waver. Keep yourself in faith and trust that your dream is in your heart because it IS possible–and you don’t have to know the HOW of how to reach your dream. Just trust that as you move forward you will get intuitve nudges that guide you to each step. Your own doubt and fear–will block this information from coming through–so it is important to stay in the lighter state of faith and trust. Your faith and trust helps you to hear the information that will guide you to your dream. It helps you tune into the frequency of the radio station “Anything is Possible”.
What can you do today to keep your dial set to “Anything is Possible”?
