February 28th, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
“Faith is the ability to see the invisible–to believe in the incredible. That is what enables you to receive what the masses think is impossible.”
~Clarence Smithison
Opening up to the highest possibilities in our life takes courage and commitment. There can be a lot of negative naysayers in the media—or in your own life that have limited beliefs about what is possible in life. There are also your own negative conditioning that you have absorbed from your family and the culture. It can be hard to sort through all of this to find the light of your own dreams.
Once you find the light of your own dreams it is important to stay focused on this and move forward with faith and trust. Embracing this big dream opens up the world of ideas and inspiration to the manifestation of the dream. You will not get these ideas and inspiration until you first embrace and believe yourself that it is possible. It means setting your internal dial on “Anything is Possible” and keeping it there—no matter what. As things are re-arranging themselves in support of manifesting your dream it may appear on the surface that something is going “wrong” and that your dream is not possible. That is the most important time to not waver. Keep yourself in faith and trust that your dream is in your heart because it IS possible–and you don’t have to know the HOW of how to reach your dream. Just trust that as you move forward you will get intuitive nudges that guide you to each step. Your own doubt and fear–will block this information from coming through–so it is important to stay in the lighter state of faith and trust. Your faith and trust helps you to hear the information that will guide you to your dream. It helps you tune into the frequency of the radio station “Anything is Possible”.
What can you do today to keep your dial set to “Anything is Possible”?
February 22nd, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
“If you can dream it, you can do it.” Walt Disney
“Whatever you can do, or believe you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I love the phrase “Reach for the Stars!” It conjures up images for me of magic and seems to open the doorway to amazing possibilities. We typically are not taught to reach for the stars. We are not encouraged to dream big dreams. We are for the most part taught to instead keep our dreams small and contained—following the typical societal roadmap for success: go to college in an area that you can make money, maybe in an area you enjoy—and then pursue this career path, find a life partner, possibly have a family. This is not bad—it may even lead to an enjoyable life—but what if there was more?
What if there was a door beyond your current thinking that took you to a place that was a life you thought you could only dream about? What if the only way you could get there was to first believe it is even there to begin with? Could you open up to this idea—or does a negative voice shoot this down “Yeah, right—me living a big dream—fat chance!”
We all have conditioned thought patterns that dictate how we perceive the world around us and what possibilities are open to us and which are not. These thought patterns are handed down to us from generation to generation. If your parents lived their dreams and were filled with joy and fulfillment, then you probably inherited some thought patterns that will lead to the same experience for you.But if your parents were unhappy and struggled with fear, addictions, lack of purpose, lack of deep connection with others than watch out—your inherited conditioned thought patterns may be hazardous to your Life!
The interesting thing about these thought patterns are that they are invisible to us. They are so much a part of us that they feel normal and we don’t even notice the ways they are limiting our life. You are probably even shaking your head right now wondering “What is she talking about?” The signs that you are under the influence of these limiting patterns can be one or more of the following:
- a sense that there is something more to life, that there is something missing
- feelings of depression and hopelessness about life—what is the point
- feelings of envy or jealousy about the lives of other people “I wish my life could be more like that”
- lack of Joy and excitement
- lack of deep fulfillment and satisfaction with life
- lack of deep connection with yourself and others
- lack of a sense of a larger purpose for your life
- lack of a sense of spirituality and feeling of spiritual connection
What is sad is that there is amazing potential that lies in each and every one of us—but so little of it is fully realized because of these limiting thought patterns. If you are feeling some of the things I listed above it is a signal that there is more in life awaiting you.These feelings are indicating that conditioned thought patterns are holding you back from more that is wanting to be expressed inside of you.
Your essential self, your authentic self came into the world to fully express it’s unique creativity and gifts. Imagine the incredible, vital energy of your authentic self hitting the conditioned thoughts of your family –bumping up against thoughts like “You aren’t talented” “Just get a good job and build security—that is what is important” “Don’t rock the boat—keep safe—don’t upset anyone” “Be a good girl/boy and do what I expect and want you to do” “You’re not anyone special” or thoughts about life in general like “Life is struggle—work hard and maybe you will have some enjoyment in retirement” “Life is not meant to be fun—just get through it” “Don’t expect so much, be happy with what you have” “You can’t pursue your dreams AND make money”.
Do you notice any of these messages from your own life? Some of these messages are given directly and some are conveyed through what you saw your parents experience in life and the choices they made. An example could be “Dad stayed at the same job for 40 years even though he hated every minute of it.” Let’s look at all of the messages you would receive if you observed your parent doing this:1. It is OK to stay in a job that you don’t like for the security 2. It’s not OK to take risks—don’t rock the boat—don’t risk 3. Your happiness is not important 4. How you spend the majority of your time doesn’t matter—as long as you are making money 5. Life is not about being happy 6. It is good to sacrifice your happiness for others. These messages can have an impact on you that you are aware of like “My Dad was stuck in a job he didn’t like—I will never let that happen to me.”So you make a conscious choice to break out of that pattern. But what about the unconscious impact?
What I think is most interesting is the messages that we have absorbed that we are NOT conscious of and how these affect our everyday life and choices.We need to watch for this the most—because these unconscious thought patterns will affect us and limit all that we are capabable of accomplishing in our life. Use the signals above as a guide to let you know if these unconscious patterns are limiting you. If you are feeling incredibly happy, joyful, on purpose and are feeling vibrantly alive -than you are fine—these limiting patterns are probably not operating in your life.If you are feeling some of the feelings listed above than the following tips to break out of these patterns will be helpful.
How to Break Free from Limiting Patterns and Reach for the Stars
- Realize that your Limiting Thinking is NOT true- Those limitations and negative thinking has no basis in reality, even though it feels very real. The reason it feels real is because you have been saying these things to yourself for a long time and as a child you probably got this message over and over as well. Remember just because the voice is LOUD does not mean it is TRUE. So your inner message of “I could never do that (your dream), I don’t have what it takes”—is absolutely false. The interesting thing is that what is really true is usually the exact opposite of your limiting thinking. So if you reverse your thought—you will get closer to what is really true.Taking the previous example—if you reversed it—it would be “I could do that (your dream), I absolutely have what it takes!”
- If you have the Dream, You have What it Takes to Manifest the Dream- Your dreams are in your heart for a reason-they would not be there if they were not something you were meant to have. They are there to be a beacon, a guide for you to move towards and pursue. Your dreams are not wishful thinking, but important images to pay attention to because they are the guides to the incredible possibilities of your life. If you didn’t have the capability to achieve your dream it would not be in your consciousnesses to begin with. Trust that because it is there, all of the necessary things for its manifestation are present as well. Taking steps towards your dream and trusting that as you do you will get information and inspiration that will lead you to your next step. You don’t need to know the whole outline of how you will achieve the dream before you begin—actually you won’t know the steps until you begin.It is like the information and steps to manifest the dream are contained in the essence of the dream and will not be revealed until the dream is believed and pursued.
- Believe in Your Dreams- When you were growing up, if your parents didn’t honor and pursue their own dreams- or discounted the dreams you shared with them—you may have learned to do the same thing with your own dreams. Pay attention to your dreams and treat them as beautiful and sacred—honoring them, valuing them and pursuing them. If you can think of the belief in your own dreams as a warm flame that you surround your dream with—warming it, nurturing it and fueling it. We all know people who have dreams in their hearts- but they don’t believe, honor or pursue these dreams. Belief is what activates a dream and acts as a catalyst for its manifestation.Remember the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their own dreams.” Believe in the beauty of your own dreams and take them seriously.
- As You Move Towards Your Dream You Will Move Through Fear- Your conditioned thinking is your comfort zone—these thoughts feel “normal” and familiar to you. As you move towards your dream you will be bumping into your conditioned thinking, which will want to hold you back in your comfort zone. You are moving into new territory and it can be like an alarm goes off in your conditioned thinking saying “Red Alert—we are doing something different, out of our comfort zone, we are in DANGER—we need to stop and go back to safety.” Bob Proctor, a noted life coach, calls this the terror barrier. Many people when they get to this point feel that these uncomfortable feelings are an indicator that they are making a mistake and they stop pursuing their dream. This terror is actually a good thing— it is letting them know that they are moving out of their limited thinking patterns and into the freedom of living from their true self. When I work with clients I say to them they will probably feel uncomfortable, awkward and scared as they move out of operating from their limiting beliefs—so these feelings are a good thing.If they are feeling comfortable they are probably still in their old patterns and not much will be changing for them. So when you feel the fear or even terror—reassure yourself that this is part of the process and that you are right on track.
- Pursuing Your Dream Helps you to Grow and Expand- We are meant to move toward dreams that may initially feel out of our reach because these dreams cause us to stretch, grow and expand into the highest expression of our unique essence. To achieve our dreams we need to move through inner and outer barriers that have kept us living small. As you move through these barriers you will start to feel more energized and confident in all areas of your life. It has a ripple effect of freeing up the energy that was expended keeping you limited.Our fears and limiting thoughts take up a lot of our energy—once this energy is no longer being channeled into limitation—it is available for creativity, joy and achieving your dreams.
- The more you feel your own essence and all of the gifts it has to express—you let go of fear even more because you trust that you are bigger, stronger at the level of your Spirit (essence) than you ever knew. When you are living in the walls of your limited conditioning—you feel small and incapable of doing a lot beyond what you have already been doing.Once you break free into a new, expanded experience of you —you have a greater sense of all that you are really capable of doing.
- If You Are Going to Dream, Dream Big- The bigger the dream, the bigger the growth and expansion you will experience. What I find is that people set their initial dream and as they move towards it they begin to grow, expand and release their limited thinking. Then it is like they are in a new realm of open space and incredible possibilities. It is from this space that there can be even greater clarity about their dreams and oftentimes these dreams will expand and get bigger. It is like their initial dreaming was when they were in the constrictions of their limited thought patterns and they couldn’t access the bigger dream. It may be that the current dream may expand and get bigger or it may shift to a different dream that had never entered their mind before. Example: Audre had always wanted to write professionally—she even had gone to school for creative writing. When she began to dream her dream was to write for a local newspaper and write articles for magazines. As she began to move towards this—she worked through all of the fears and limited thinking that had held her back for years. She began writing every day and submitting her articles for publication. She also took a part-time job as a reporter for a local community newspaper. She felt fabulous and her confidence in her writing grew. She began to access a bigger dream which was to write and publish a novel and to have this become a best-seller.This had never crossed her mind before and it surprised her when it came up. She was able to embrace and honor this dream. She pursued it and felt herself move to a higher level of aliveness, joy and fulfillment than she knew was even possible.
- Let Go of What Others Think and Get Positive Support- To pursue your deepest dreams it is important to let go of what others think of you. Because there are so many people walking around with unlived dreams in their hearts—it is easy for them to project their own limiting thinking on to you.It is important to notice this for what it is and to not take it seriously and buy into their concerns or negativity.
- Find people who are dreamers, and more importantly people who are taking their dreams seriously and taking action to achieve these dreams. Ongoing positive support is essential in reaching your dreams. Find your support through your friendships or through a structured support group. I feel so strongly about the importance of this kind of support that in my practice I have a whole range of services that give people lots of support. You are not meant to do this alone. You need lots of support and the right kind of support—from people who believe in the beauty and possibility of your dreams.You may have not been able to make progress towards your dream for the simple fact you have not had enough support around you.
So begin today to believe in the beauty of your dreams and the incredible possibilities for your life. Take action to move towards these dreams and watch doors open up for you, unique gifts of yours come out— all leading you to life, that until now you have only dreamed about. Believe and it is possible.
February 21st, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
When you were little, if you experienced pain and your parents were too caught up in their own world to comfort you or they were the ones causing you pain–you developed methods to block the pain. To feel the pain and have no way to process it 0r to have someone comfort you is very overwhelming for a child. Kids will begin to block painful feelings very early on if they are in this kind of environment. The part of us that does this is our Wounded Adult Child—meaning a protective part of us that had to intervene and protect against pain.
We all have different methods of protecting against our pain–overthinking, overeating, overworking, being obsessed with being perfect, overfocusing on others, daydreaming, watching TV, or reading etc. The last two I mentioned watching TV and reading can either be coming from an intention to block pain and avoid—or they can be a healthy form of enjoyment. For example you can watch a movie to avoid some painful feelings you are having and you want to escape—or you want to have some enjoyment and fun by watching the movie—same activity but different intentions.
As an adult–blocking our pain ends up getting in our way. The methods we use to block pain can get in the way of us feeling deeply connected to ourselves–and our capacity to connect with others. Our feelings are part of us—and if we are blocking them–we are missing a deep connection with ourselves.
The truth is that you are an adult now and you have the capacity to process your feelings, comfort yourself—or get support and comfort from those around you. You aren’t alone with your pain anymore. The Wounded Adult Child part of you needs to be reassured of this—these parts of you are locked in the past and feel like what was happening back then is the current environment—do they are tirelessly blocking your pain, your feelings because they feel they need to for your survival! It can take time for these blocking mechanisms to relax and acclimate to what is truly happening. These protective parts believe that if you feel pain—it will be overwhelming and that you might even die. Reassure them that you can handle the pain now–you can share with others how you are feeling, you can journal your feelings, you can seek the support of a therapist.
You are now fully capable of feeling and processing your pain—both from the past and pain from the present.
February 17th, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
I had an interesting meeting today with a friend of mine who is a chiropractor. I haven’t seen him in years but whenever we connect we seem to be on parallel tracks. Today was no different.
He talked of his evolution as a chiropractor and that over the last year he has begun to make the connection to a person’s emotional state and the pain in their body. He now sees the pain in the physical body as a form of resistence to the natural state of joy of our Essence–our Authentic Self. The pain gives us feedback that what we are thinking is out alignment with our true nature. We initially feel this pain in our emotional body–with feelings of anger, fear, despair, depression etc. If we stay in these states long enough they begin to manifest in our body as a physical issue. The more serious the issue–the more chronic the negative emotional state has been. It still may need to be addressed on the physical level–but if the underlying emotional pattern has not been addressed the physical issue may return.
So he said that I am in the right field and that people should be talking to me instead of him! He said that if someone is in a chronic negative state there is nothing he can do for them to help them physically if they are unwilling to change this negative pattern. Many people are more comfortable going to see a doctor or chiropractor to address a physical issue than to go to see a psychotherapist. The wounded states of negativity, self-judgement, hopelessness, attempts to control–block the flow of energy in our body. If this continues to happen this blocked energy will begin to manifest in a physical issue. That is why I say to clients–if they have been in a wounded state and they want to shift—doing something physical–like taking a walk around the block will help discharge the negative energy that is blocking their energy and free it up so they can be in the natural flow of feeling good.
So if you have pain in your physical body—see if you can connect it with a negative emotional pattern that you engage in. Is it reflecting your critical feelings towards someone in your life or an overall negative attitude towards life in general? Or see if you can track when the physical pain started in your body—did an event cause a strong emotional response that got lodged in the body. Once you make the connection see if you can give your body permission to release this blocked energy and let it go. Reassure yourself that you don’t need to hang on to this pain and suffering any more. Imagine your body being pain free and embrace this as true for you—despite what medical condition you have been diagnosed with. Know that your Essence is free and clear of any pain and suffering and align yourself with your Essence.
The other step is then to make sure that you maintain a positive emotional state throughout the day. This is not only your natural state but the most healing state for your body. Your body is designed to self-heal when it is operating optimally. The more you lift your energy to the high frequency of your Essence you provide yourself with the most powerful treatment you could ever get for your physical issues!
February 11th, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
“We need each other to Fly!”
“I can do it on my own”. Is that a phrase that runs through your mind? This very phrase can be keeping you very stuck in your life.
When we are attempting to make positive changes in our life–desiring to move into our full potential–we can get stuck in thinking that we can do this all on our own. And then we get frustrated because we can’t make these changes and start to beat ourselves up.
The reality is that to make changes in our life–the kinds of changes that will really make a difference–we need support—and lots of it. The reason for this is our Conditioned Self–our false beliefs, fears, old programming is very strong and oftentimes very invisible to us. That is why it is so easy to get stuck.
We need healthy support around us–people that are capable of pointing out to us—”Are you aware that you are doing this—that you are getting in your own way?” Someone flashing the light on what we cannot see because we are too close to it.
One of the reasons that I love what I do so much is that I get to do this for my clients every day. After years of working with clients I am able to see very quickly what is getting in their way, what is keeping them stuck–and I am able to share this with them so they can start to quickly move forward again.
The other key thing that support can do for us is see the Grand Possibilities of who we are and what is possible in our life. Our Conditioned Self has a very limited perception of who we really are and what is truly possible for us.
I am able to see clients clearly and see the larger possibility for their lives. I am able to offer them “believing eyes” to help them move into their own Self-Belief–and to see their true potential.
I recommend on-going support for clients in one form or another—either individual work, or in a group, or by attending a Workshop. The most successful clients I have are the ones that get the most support. They innately know they need it and they love themselves enough to make sure they are getting enough of it.
So love yourself enough to get the support you need to really move forward in your life–you absolutely deserve it!
February 2nd, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
“I Love My Body because it houses my beautiful Spirit.”
Beth, 30
“I Love My Body because it is a work of art that I see as beautiful, and something I know no one else could ever duplicate.”
Francesca, 18
Why do you Love Your Body? Do you love your body because like Beth stated above, it houses your magnificent soul? Do you love your body because it enables you to experience the richness of life with all of your senses? Do you love your body because it allows you to create things, hug others and enjoy the pleasure of movement?
I’m not asking you IF you love your body but WHY you love your body. I want to start the conversation about loving your body with the why, not the if—to get you to shift your thinking in that direction immediately. People, women in particular—perhaps you the reader –have spent far too many precious moments of life criticizing and trying to change your body rather than truly loving and accepting the gift of your body!
The challenge that most women face around loving their body is the cultural conditioning around the ideal body for women. There was a popular ad for “The Body Shop”, the skin and hair care products company, which stated “There are 3 billion women who don’t look like supermodels and only 8 who do.” This ad highlighted that what is promoted as the ideal, normal body for women is actually the normal body for only a very small percentage of women.
Yet, this image is continuously portrayed in advertising, on magazine covers and in the actresses we see in movies and on television. It is a distortion of reality that ends up creating a situation where women feel inadequate and that there is something wrong with their body for not looking like this. It causes women to judge and try to change their body by dieting, plastic surgery and many other ways of trying to get their body to look like the ideal. This cultural conditioning is hurtful and has a very toxic effect on women and girls. It is toxic because instead celebrating and loving their unique shape they are judging it against the promoted ideal.
According to the Social Issues Research Centre, “More than 80% of 4th graders have been on a fad diet.” It is sad to see the pressure that young girls feel to start to mold their bodies into the ideal, rather than using this energy to learn, explore and just be happy and content being themselves. Because of the profound impact of this cultural conditioning it is important for women and girls to become conscious of this programming and to have the courage to step out of the dictates of these unrealistic body expectations. So one of the first and most important guideline to truly Love Your Body is to take back the power to define your own beauty.
Tips to help you Love Your Body:
1. Take the Power back to define your own Beauty- Not only taking it back for the cultural/media definitions but also from people around you in your life who have made judgmental remarks about your body. These people weren’t able to see the beauty of your body because they had absorbed the cultural definitions themselves—and were judging you and probably their own body against these standards as well. Take a moment now to close your eyes and imagine taking back the power to define the beauty of your own body. Take it back from the cultural definitions and the media—in your mind state “I will not allow you to define what my body should look like anymore.” Think back to people that have made negative comments to you about your body—a family member, a romantic partner or other kids when you were little. Say to them in your mind “I take back the power to define the beauty of my own body—your comments were distortions and untrue—and I no longer give them any power.” Feel how good this feels to clear yourself of all of this negativity and distortion.
2. Clear Your Own Negative Beliefs about Your Body- Because of your exposure to the cultural conditioning about the supposed ideal female body—you probably have practiced self-judgment of your body for not conforming to the promoted “ideal.” These judgments and negative beliefs are again distortions and not based on the truth of the unique beauty of your own body. We all have bodies of different sizes and shapes that are special and truly beautiful.
Let go of your own rigid beliefs about how your body should look and begin to see how the very things that are different about your body are the very things that make you unique and beautiful. Write down the negative messages that you say to yourself about your body. Imagine writing them down to release them from your consciousness. Get them all out—the most negative hurtful ones you can think of. Look at these messages—notice how you would never dream of saying these things to anyone else in your life. Look at all of these messages and apologize to your body saying “I’m so sorry that I said these hurtful things to you—I promise that I will not say these things to you again and I will start loving you instead.” Look at these messages again and with an intention to fully release them—tear up the sheet of paper and throw it away. Some people like to build a fire outside and burn the paper as a way of releasing this negativity.
3. Exercise for the Joy of Feeling Your Body Move- When you exercise to eliminate fat from your body and/or to compensate for calories eaten—this can come from a place of fear and have an energy of trying to control and fight against your body. Imagine exercising for the joy of moving your body and from an intention to be loving to your body—a desire for it to be healthy and have more energy. The clients I work with around this issue tend to be able to maintain an exercise program if they do it from a place of joy and self-love rather than control and fear about their weight. Notice if there are things in your life that you don’t do for fear of people seeing your body—like swimming, dancing or any other activity. Remind yourself that you deserve to do the things you enjoy no matter what your shape. Let go of what others think of you and stay focused on the fact that you have every right to do the things you enjoy.
4. Remind Yourself What the Purpose of Having a Body Is-Your body is yours to fully experience life, to take it in and enjoy it. Your body is a vehicle for you to experience life with all of your senses. Your body allows you: to feel a warm breeze on your skin, feel the cool water in a lake when you swim, see all of the vivid colors of a sunset, hear all of the beauty of music, to hear the sounds of birds and trees moving in the wind, feel the softness of someone’s hand, feel the joy of dancing, taste and enjoy delicious food, express yourself through a smile, tears or laughter. Your body is for you, not for others to critique or judge. You are not here as a display for others, but as a fully embodied human being with deeper, richer qualities than just your appearance.
5. When You Look in The Mirror—Look at Yourself Through Loving Eyes- For many women looking in the mirror turns into an exercise of self-judgment. They zero in on all of their perceived flaws and what they feel is “wrong” with their body or face. Again the criteria they are judging themselves against is this unrealistic ideal that is promoted in the media. I have many clients who when they first started working with me said that they couldn’t look in the mirror because all they saw were these perceived flaws. I suggest that they shift this by instead looking at themselves in the mirror through loving eyes. An example would be if you look in the mirror and see a wrinkle that you would ordinarily judge—look at this wrinkle with love and compassion—and even see the beauty of this wrinkle. Set a clear intention to see yourself through the lens of love—interrupt the self judgment and move into being very loving with yourself. This will be something that you need to practice before it becomes a habit—but it will be well worth the effort because you will begin to feel really wonderful about yourself.
6. Have Your Self-Esteem be Internally Referenced- Have your self-esteem be based on your internal qualities rather than your external appearance. What are the qualities that make you—you? Is it your compassion, your unique creativity, your intelligence, your capacity to have fun, your wisdom, your perceptiveness, your capacity to listen to people or your loving heart? Think of the people that you love in your life. You love them for who they are—the unique Spirit that they are—not for what they look like. That is how they feel about you—they love you for who you are and all of the special qualities that make up you. Learn to value yourself for the substance of you—not for the physical form that you travel around in.
7. Explore the deeper reason for the preoccupation with your appearance/weight. Sometimes when someone is preoccupied with their appearance it may be an avoidance mechanism for deeper, more painful feelings. Check in with yourself and see if this might be the case. If in your childhood things were painful for you and out of control, you may have learned to focus on your weight as a way to avoid the loneliness and helplessness of what was happening around you. Or maybe there is a painful issue in your life today that you don’t have the courage to face—like a challenging relationship or lack of purpose in your life. A preoccupation with your appearance distracts you from facing these issues. If this is the case for you, it is important for you to get support for yourself to open up to face these feelings directly. You can get this support through taking the risk to reveal your feelings to a trusted friend or working with a counselor who can help you work through these feelings.
8.Eliminate Comparing Yourself to Others-The energy of comparison and competition is hurtful to yourself and the other person. Doing this is just another form of putting yourself down and will not help you to feel good but will make you feel even worse. Vow to not participate in this kind of energy. Instead if you see someone who is attractive—instead of comparing yourself to this person or judging them—state instead—“She is attractive and so am I.” Celebrate that other person and yourself too. You will find this feels so much better than comparing yourself to them or being critical.
9. Take One of the Areas of Your Body You Typically Judge and Take a Week to Fully Love This Part of You- Spend 15 minutes a day looking at this part of your body and find things to love about it, better yet, do it throughout the day. The more challenging it is to do this, the more you need to do it! I read in a book about a woman who did this exercise and after a week of doing it a stranger came up to her and told her how beautiful this part of her body was! When we transform our own way of seeing ourselves—it transforms the way others see us as well. You want your first intention of doing this exercise to be the shift in your own self-love, not to have the effect on how others view you. How you view you is always going to be what is most important.
10. Decide That You Are Beautiful and Practice Being Beautiful- You get to decide if you are beautiful or not. If like I stated above you have taken your power back to define your own self than why don’t you claim your own beauty! Take a day and repeat to yourself “I am Beautiful”. Do things that make you feel beautiful—wear something special—that you love and feel great in. Walk like you are beautiful. Look in the mirror and say “I am beautiful.” This may feel awkward at first but continue to do this until you really start to believe it.
Celebrate who you are and your beautiful, unique body. We need women who are seeing and celebrating their own beauty—it helps other women who are stuck in negativity about their body see that there is another more joyful path to take—the path of true self-love!