October 31st, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
Hello! Happy Wednesday to you! What happens inside of you when you get a reaction from someone that you perceive as negative? How you react will affect how you feel about yourself. Carmen was talking to a good friend of hers and she sensed that he was irritated by something—right away she went into self-judgement–she thought “He must be upset with me–he must think that I am being very demanding” she felt awful when she thought this–but it was an automatic reaction.
It reminded her of when she was little and her Mom would be mad and irritated and took it out on her. She learned to take responsibility for her Mom’s upset—Mom must be right—I am bad.
Now Carmen is an adult and developing a Loving adult voice inside of her–once she catches this self-judgement she can move into compassion with herself and say “Honey we don’t know what is going on with our friend—it probably has nothing to do with you–we are not responsible for his feelings–let’s just check in with him and see what is going on.” She did check in with him and the irritation she thought he was in was something else that he was feeling and was not related to her at all.
So next time you perceive a negative reaction from someone–first move into compassion with yourself —reassuring yourself that you are not the cause of these feelings in the other person. Then you can move into the intent to learn with the other person and find out what is going on for them. By doing this you will prevent yourself from going into needless self-judgement of yourself–causing yourself unecessary pain and eroding your self-esteem.
October 30th, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
Hello! Have you thought about getting a “Celebration of Me” journal? This is something we focused on in the “I am Fabulous” Workshop this past Saturday. It is a great way to focus on building self-love. The neat thing about it is that you start to zone in on the positive things about you—because you begin looking for things to add to your journal. And as you know what you focus on expands—which is the positive things about YOU!
Here is another Love Poem someone wrote to themselves at the Workshop.
Love Poem to Me
Your eyes–they still look upon the heaven….
Where peace and love can be found
Your lips–still perfectly forming expression to the world
Some understood, some not
Your hands–so soft and warm–touching lightly
Hands of comfort they are
Your body–sound & sturdy
Holds you strongly, firmly
Grounding to the Earth
You are amazing in all ways.
Beautiful, inquisitive, Loving one
Cyndee
Today write a Love poem to YOU!
October 29th, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
Hello! Thank you for your patience as I iron out my computer issues. I am still not on line. I have to back up all of my files on my computer and re-install my operating system. I am at my friend Kathleens using her computer. One thing I love about these kinds of situations is it puts us in a position of reaching out to those around us and asking for help–giving the opportunity to connect in a deeper way. I have had magic moments of connecting with my friends as I am over at their homes using their computers. It helps me see the gifts of a challenging situation.
The “I am Fabulous” Workshop was Fabulous!! A great group of people who were so open to loving themselves at a deeper level. One of the exercises that we did in the Workshop is each person brought a “Celebration of Me” journal—a journal dedicated to gathering loving cards and statements received from others as well as their own loving thoughts to themselves. As the first entry to their journal I had them write a Love poem to themselves. Some of the Workshop participants gave me permission to share their poems with you. I will share one today and one tomorrow.
Love Poem To My Self
You have such kind and gentle ways
You deserve peace and love all you days
Go—Let your light Shine– because you are a wonderful child of mine .
Be merry, be bright you are such a delight
I am so proud of you and how you take a stand
Never fear–I will be for you your upper hand.
Wendy
So today go get your very own ”Celebration of Me” journal and begin to gather loving words to celebrate the beauty and magnificence of you!!
October 26th, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
Hello! My internet connection has been down since yesterday. It is an odd thing to not be “connected”to the world wide web. I am at my friend Ann’s house using her computer. I spent hours on the phone with Dell trying to fix things today—I had compassionate and caring service from Keith, Kyle and Ron. It really does make a difference to have the person on the other end of the line be caring about what you are going through—no matter what the situation is. I am hoping to get the situation resolved by Sunday.
I was working with a client this week and I talked to her about remembering the immense strength and gifts of her Spirit. We talked about remembering that no matter what the situation is–she is capable from the perspective of her Spirit to handle it. I had her envision her Spirit expanding and extending beyond the bounds of her body–becoming very large. I said “This is who you really are—this large, capable, talented, wise, compassionate, creative, smart Spirit—with accumulated knowledge and wisdom that is beyond what your earthly perspective might lead you to believe.” I said “We are much more than we have been conditioned to believe–and it is important to remember the truth of who we really are and act from that.” She had been able to have glimpses of experiencing who she really was and now it was time for her to claim it and live this more consistently. I suggested she use this visualization to help her connect with who she really was when she felt small and doubtful about her own capabilities. By connecting with this she will respond to situations more creatively and authentically–feeling like she is an empowered leader of her life than a helpless victim of what is happening around her.
Claim who you really are and take action from your expanded Spirit— this is who you really are!
October 24th, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
Happy Wednesday to you! Wednesdays are a day that I don’t see clients. It is a day that I write, catch up on paperwork, create fun stuff for clients and take walks with Niyo, my dog. Today I am working on the “I am Fabulous” Workshop that is this Saturday–I am VERY excited about the workshop. It always amazes me how things come together for Workshops–how the perfect group of people come together to support each other to grow. It is divine orchestration at it’s finest and I love every minute of it.
I am particularly excited about this Workshop because I think the issue of low self-esteem is HUGE for people. Everyone I work with needs to do a lot of work around this issue. The good news is that when you really get how wonderful you truly are—your whole life improves— because self-esteem affects everything–it affects how much good you allow into your life. The phrase “How good do you allow your life to get?” is more of a function of a belief that you really deserve a wonderful life. The good that is wanting to come into your life can only flow to the extent you allow it to flow in. The better you feel about yourself–the more good you will allow into you life.
The interesting thing with Self-Esteem is that the wounded part of us—the part of us that absorbed negative messages and conditioning as a child is very devoted to the status quo. This means that we have gotten used to the negative messages and the low self-esteem–this can feel familiar to us. Moving into the truth—which is that we are an amazing, magnificent person with tremendous worth and potential—stretches us out of our comfort zone. Without even being aware of it–we can keep ourselves locked into low self-esteem by the choices we make that are in alignment with this low-self-esteem. An example of this I see over and over is when people go to make the decision to attend a Workshop. They have the intitial excitment and they want to attend—then the old conditioning can take over and come up with a million and one reasons why they shouldn’t attend. It is the fear of the conditioned self—of moving out of what is familiar into the territory that is new—it is the unknown. This conditioned self is very compelling and many people listen to it—and they continue to stay stuck—not even knowing it was there own choice that is keeping them there.
The last “I am Fabulous ” Workshop there was a woman who said she wanted to attend—a day later she called and said she had a real busy week and would be too tired to attend. I saw that this was her conditioned self and encouraged her to attend anyway—stating that the Workshop would be energizing for her. She attended and had a huge breakthrough that completely changed her life—she has been the happiest and most peaceful she had ever been since the Workshop. She was so close to not coming. She would have missed out on the very thing she needed to grow to the next level. So if it is your time to attend the “I am Fabulous” Workshop–listen to the voice of your true self–not the voice of your conditioned self wanting to hold you back!
So watch yourself when you make decisions–make sure that you are making decisions that are what you really want—that are moving you forward—rather that decisions from your conditioned self that are going to keep you stuck in old patterns.
Make decisions that are in alignment with your true priorities. Back what you want with positive action.
October 23rd, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
Hello! What is your self-talk like today? If you are feeling happy and peaceful your self-talk is probably positive and supportive. If you are feeling stressed, anxious, depressed, guilty etc. etc. your self-talk is probably filled with self-judgement.
Many people routinely engage in self-judgement and aren’t really aware that they are doing it. It can be so automatic and regular that it is invisible. The best way to start to tune into your self-talk is to monitor your feelings. Your feelings will give you pretty accurate feedback if you are being loving or unloving with your self-talk. If your feeling good your self-talk is positive and on track– if you are feeling bad it is an indicator that there is some negative self-talk happening inside.
See if you can move into curiousity with your feelings—let’s say that you are feeling anxious—ask the anxious part of you–”Why are you so anxious?” —the anxious part of you may reply “I’m feeling so anxious because you are telling me that I made a stupid comment in the meeting today.” Now that you are conscious of what is happening you can move into dealing with this self-judgement. You can move into a Loving adult space with yourself and talk to the part of you that is self-judging and say “I’m sorry that I said that you made a stupid comment—you actually added a lot to the meeting—you did just fine with the comment you made—you have a lot of good ideas and I am glad we shared them.” This statement is more supportive on the inner level and will create a sense of peace and security—in turn opening you up to more creative ideas. The self-judgement stifles creativity and creates immobilization.
Love yourself today by using loving, supportive self-talk.
October 22nd, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
Hello! I am back and hopefully back on track with my daily blogging. One of the exercises to build self-esteem and self-worth is to stay in tune moment by moment with what you need to do to be loving with yourself. Most people have their antenna turned to the outer world–scanning what other people are doing–how they are reacting and responding to what they are doing. They then make decisions based on this outer information–making choices to try to please the people around them rather than tuning into what they really want to do.
When I work with clients I suggest that they shift this antenna away from the outer world and inward to tune into their own feelings and needs. Once they tune into their own feelings and needs they can then ask themselves “What is the loving action I need to do for myself right now?” Asking this question brings in information about what what be most loving in that moment. Once the client gets this information the next step is to take action on it. For example if they asked what was most loving for themselves right now and what popped into their mind was to rest—then they would take some time and rest. If for some reason they couldn’t rest in that moment they would make arrangements to rest at some point during the day.
The consequence of doing this throughout the day is that you would be attending to yourself at a very deep level, moment by moment. This kind of attentiveness to yourself creates a sense of being loved by YOU. We love ourselves by being loving to ourselves. We show our love by our attentiveness and responsivness to our own needs. We are the only one who can do this for ourselves—because we are living in our own bodies 24/7.
So for the rest of the day experiment with this–continue to keep your attention inside of you and ask “What is the loving action that I need to do for myself right now?” –then take action on what the answer is–and watch how great you will feel. You will feel very loved and valued because you will be loving YOU!
October 15th, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
Hello and welcome to my blog. This will be a daily blog to give you practical everyday tips for living a Radiant Life (a life in alignment with your true essence)–and also inspiration to keep your Spirit lifted. Feel free to add your comments–I would love to hear from YOU! As I worked with clients today the theme of self-worth kept surfacing. The core of most issues that people seek counseling for is a lack of self-esteem–not seeing themselves clearly. Many people have a very distorted vision of who they are. These disortions come from the way that others have viewed them in the past or how they were treated. If someone doesn’t make a conscious effort to see themselves clearly their self-esteem will be determined by these disortions. It is like wiping the dirt and dust from a windshield–there may be layers of distortions to remove before there is clarity.
Who you really are is beautiful, brilliant, shining, loving unique Spirit. There are different exercises that you can do to learn to see yourself more clearly. I will go over some of these exerises in my blog tomorrow. If you are in the Green Bay area I will be giving an hour long presentation on Thursday October 18th from 6-7 p.m. at Fitnessology. See the listing under the services section. For those of you who really want to make a big shift in your Self-Esteem I will be doing a day long “I am Fabulous” Workshop on Saturday October 27th from 9:30-5 p.m.–again see the Services section. Until then give yourself a big hug and say “You are beautiful just the way you are!”
October 1st, 2007, by Shelley Riutta
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