February 29th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
This is a picture of my dog Niyo this past summer at my parents cottage. He is looking up at me and barking because he wants me to throw this thing called a flying squirrel (it is like a canvas frisbee) into the lake so he can swim out and get it. He LOVES doing this and could do it until my arm fell off from throwing it! Dogs are good teachers for us because they gravitate towards what is fun and then do it till their hearts content (or until their owners arm falls off:) It is so simple for them to follow what they love. We too did this when we were children.
I saw a perfect example of this when I was visiting Duke Botanical Gardens in North Carolina last May. I was sitting on a hill watching some kids running around and playing at the bottom of the hill. (I actually have a picture of these kids by my article “Are You Having Fun Yet?”) They were having so much fun and I had fun just watching them. Nearby where I was sitting there was a group of teachers and kids sitting on the grass–it was fairly quiet and the kids looked quite bored. I could see the kids looking longingly at the kids playing at the bottom of the hill. One of the kids couldn’t stand it anymore and started slinking away from their group to move towards the playing kids. As he moved away one of the teachers started calling his name “Jimmy, you get back to the group.” Jimmy conveniently didn’t hear the teacher and kept moving towards the playing kids. The teacher yelled louder “Jimmy, get back here now!” Just as she said that he broke away and began running towards the kids. Inside I was saying “Go Jimmy Go!”
The teacher didn’t realize that he wasn’t doing anything wrong he was just going to where the fun was. Kids are innately drawn to what is fun, to what brings them Joy. But you can see the dynamic of him being punished for following this will have an impact on him as he grows up. Instead of following what he loves he will instead try to please those around him with what he thinks they want him to do. Can you see how people can get sidetracked from this innate mechanism of following what you love. It could be messages from parents or teachers that communicate that following what you love takes you away from what they think you are supposed to be doing.
Notice if this is a dynamic inside of you. You may have had so many years of not following what you love that you forgot what those things even are. Or you know what you love but you don’t give yourself permission to do these things more often. See if you can reconnect with what you love to do give yourself permission (like Niyo does) to do these things to your hearts content! What do you love to do? I would love to hear from you! I love to DANCE, SING, LAUGH, WRITE, CUDDLE…………………………………………..
February 28th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
We all want to feel good–yet most people don’t feel good–or don’t feel good consistently. The secret is that you can use your not so good feelings as indicators that you are off track. Whenever you are depressed, anxious or upset–these feelings are giving you information that your thoughts are out of alignment with your true nature–your authentic self.
Let’s take the example of depression—what kind of thoughts create depression? Thoughts like “I will never get what I want” “I am stuck in this situation I don’t like and I can’t do anything about it” “I am worthless” “I don’t deserve good things” “Nobody cares about me”. These are examples of “off track” thinking—the thinking of your conditioned self-your false self. Let’s replace each of those thoughts with the truth from the truest part of you, your authentic self–your spirit. The thoughts of your authentic self are positive and supportive:
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I will never get what I want shifts to >>>>>>>>> I can achieve anything I set my mind to
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I am stuck in this situation I don’t like and I can’t do anything about it shifts to>>>>>I have choices in every situation and I can make a choice to find a better situation or shift myself so this feels better–I have the power to do this
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I am worthless becomes>>>>> I am an amazing being who is loveable and incredible with so many gifts to share!
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I don’t deserve good things shifts to>>>>>I deserve everything that would make my heart sing, my happy heart helps those around me and I become a beacon of hope for others
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Nobody cares about me shifts to >>>>I have so much love around me each and every moment–from the people in my life, all the people who have ever loved me and from the spiritual realm
If you are not feeling great then check in and see what your false self is saying and write those thoughts down and do the above exercise. The more you shift your thoughts to the positive thoughts of your authentic self–the easier it becomes to do it. Eventually these thoughts will be the only thoughts you will be entertaining–and then you will be living from the Joy of your authentic self–and this is how you were meant to live!
February 27th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
It has been a week since the start of my decluttering project titled “Massive Action for 2008″ (it makes me laugh every time I write it–reminds me of a title of an Anthony Robbins program:). This is my project to declutter my home to clear the way for easy manifestation of my 2008 goals and intentions. I had Shawna and her crew come clean my home last Weds. and Tammy Southards, a professional organizer come on Friday—-and on Saturday I had a consultation with Dawn Spangenberg an interior designer and feng shui practitioner!
On this past Monday my home felt like a totally different space. I felt clear, focused and very excited. It was much easier to stay focused on my intentions and where I wanted to channel my energy, instead of than getting distracted by external clutter. I still have some decluttering to do and have another session scheduled with Tammy Southards to do this. There were some suggestions Dawn Spangenberg made to move furniture in different rooms and add a few mirrors throughout the house.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with Feng Shui is a chinese practice of enhancing the energy flow in your home or office. The idea is that we are influenced by the energy flow around us and if the energy is flowing freely and clearly, we will be supported in a positive way—and in contrast if the energy flow is stagnant from clutter or improper placement of furniture and other objects, we will be be affected by this stuck energy. So freeing up the energy in your home and office will have a positive effect on your own energy–helping you to feel more energized as well as supporting the intentions you have for your life. If your not clear about your intentions for your life, decluttering is a fabulous way to get clear—the more you clear away the old, stagnant energy you can get in touch with your true, authentic desires.
One of the main things I am doing now is maintaining my clutter free state. This can be a challenge for people. When Tammy and I were talking on Friday she mentioned people that she helps declutter their homes—and she comes back a few months later and it is back to being cluttered again. This is due to many reasons. One is there can be unresolved issues that make having clutter around a buffer or comfort to painful feelings that they haven’t faced. In order for the clutter issue to be addressed the underlying emotional issues need to be addressed for permanent change to be achieved. They other reason can be just a comfort and familiar feeling in having things in disarray–it is just what they are used to. In this case it is acclimating to the feeling of being in a decluttered state–and getting used to the feeling. The other reason can be entrenched habits that keep the clutter coming back. The person needs to learn new habits of maintaining a clutter free environment.
Here are some tips that I am using to keep my area decluttered:
1. Make sure your objects have a home and then keep them in their home.
2. At the end of the day empty your pockets, purse and bags of items and papers from the day. Put these things in their designated place and imagine that you are doing closure on your day. You are completing things that you have been involved in during that day–closing the energy on these meetings, on work, on interactions you had with people—rather than keeping the energy open. You want to be complete with your day so you can rest peacefully and start the next day fresh.
3. Work on one project at a time. When you complete your time working on a project, put it away.
4. Have a Focus. Have a plan for how you will be spending your time rather than just letting yourself unconsciously surf the internet, start a project, talk on the phone with someone who calls. Consciously direct your energy throughout the day in a way you want to direct it. Ask yourself does this activity support my intentions—is this really how I want to spend my time right now?
5. Plan time during the day to declutter. Make sure you have a routine for managing clutter. Examples could be: 1. Returning all emails from that day by the end of the day so they don’t start to become clutter 2. Handle your mail right away—throwing away junk mail right when you get it–filing mail that needs to be file–putting bills in a designated place. A favorite thing I like to do with magazines, or store catalogs or anything else I am unsure about keeping is I file it in the recycle bag. If I don’t look at it before the recycling comes than it must not have been important and then goes out to be recycled! 3. At the end of the day put things that you have out back in their home.
What are your favorite ways to manage clutter? I would love to hear from you!
February 23rd, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
This morning I had quite a laugh. I had placed an ad in a local newspaper for my upcoming Workshop–“All the Joy You Can Stand”. I went and got a copy of the newspaper to see how the ad looked. It was not in the section that it was supposed to be in–which was an insert called Living Well–which appeals to the kind of readers that would also be interested in my work. I searched through the paper to find the ad and it was on the back page of the community section – I took one look at the ad and it looked very out of place. I put in the call to the person in advertising that there was a mistake and the ad was in the wrong section.
After I left the message I looked closer at what was around my ad and it was the obituary section and the area for advertisements for funeral homes! I burst out laughing at how funny it was that my ad for the “All Joy You Can Stand Workshop” (which by the way was a color ad–so it stood out even more!) was in the obituary section of all places. I was laughing with my neighbor as I shared what happened and she said “You know there are a lot of people that read the obituary section.” Yes I know that is true–but my ad was such a contrast to the whole tone of the page. I left another message for the advertising person—this time laughing–letting her know it was definitely not in the right section–but that for people who have a good sense of humor it might brighten their day.
Speaking of Laughter–some friends and I went to see a local play titled “One-Act Theatre Festival” Friday night. It was a play of 14 original one act play written by local writers and performed by local actors. The play was directed by Mike Eserkaln who is owner of Comedy City–a local improv here in Green Bay. I have been a huge fan of Comedy City for years—they are group of very talented improv comedians that have built a very successful comedy club in De Pere , WI. Whenever I want to laugh so hard till I am crying I go to one of their shows. An offshoot of the club is Venture theatre–which produces plays that are written by local writers and star local actors. The show on Friday was a Venture Theatre event. It was my first time going to one of the Venture Theatre productions and it was wonderful—very creative, funny and poignant at times. My favorite act was Prom Date—where a Father (played by Mike Eserkaln) is coaching his daughter on various techniques to get a date for Prom–it was hilarious!!
Here is the link to Comedy City for more information http://www.comedycityonline.com/
What will you do to laugh today? Find something funny in something that goes wrong or intentionally set out for some good laughs at your local comedy club!
February 22nd, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
I am on day two of my Massive Action project of deluttering my home to remove any blocks to manifesting all of my intentions for 2008! Shawna and her cleaning crew came on Weds. morning and did an amazing job cleaning–Mom you would be proud (my Mom reads my blog). She brought 4 young women with her and they went right to work. It was amazing to walk into my home and feel how different it already feels! Today Tammy Southwards from Peaceful Home Solutions, a professional organizer, will be coming to help me organize my business paperwork—actually she will be here in a few minutes–so I will give you an update later today!
The above is a picture of one area we will be deluttering
What needs to be decluttered in your life?
Progress Report: I had a very productive time time with Tammy this a.m. I always get so much done when I work with someone else. It was funny–I caught myself doing this very sneaky strategy–and that was when Tammy would handle me a pile to go through–we would start talking about something and I would just set the pile in another place! Do you ever do this? Moving piles around to different places, thinking you are being productive? I was able to catch myself when I started to do this and stay focused on the pile we were working on and to get through everything in it.
The insight that I had as we were working on the files in my file cabinet was that I had a lot of space taken up with files that were no longer an area of focus for me. So I was able to see that clearly and move those files out to make more space for the different presentations and workshops I am developing. It was great to see this open space in my file cabinet–I felt like I had breathing room to grow and create.
Look at what occupies your space whether it is in your file cabinet or in other areas of your home–is this where you want your energy going or do you want to make space for your current interests or for something new? I would love to hear what your insights and about any of your declutter plans!
Here is another picture of the area we worked on today. Most of what we accomplished was on the files inside–but we did do some clearing of the top of the file cabinet–we still have a ways to go.
February 20th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
Our outer surroundings are a reflection of our inner world. What are your surroundings saying about you? Is it peaceful and organized–or cluttered and chaotic? I have been studying this for years and see over and over the relationship between our outer world and inner world. Many of my clients who transform their inner worlds feel a strong urge to transform their outer world as well. They may have a strong urge to declutter, getting rid of objects that reflect more of their past and who they used to be. Or they may have a strong urge to renovate their home or change how they have decorated their home–the current way their home is just doesn’t fit anymore. Or I have worked with clients who feel stuck in their life who begin to delutter their surroundings and they are able to make profound breakthroughs that transform their life.
I have used the power of decluttering as a way to transform my life over the years. 2008 is going to be an amazing year for me–I have a lot of powerful intentions that I will be manifesting and I don’t want anything blocking me internally or externally–so I have decided to do a major decluttering and transforming of my home. I am taking what I call Massive Action in this area of my life to help clear the way for things to move clearly and easily for me.
Today I have a house cleaner named Shawna and her crew coming to clean my house at 10:30. It is something I have wanted to do for years but I had a hard time finding a cleaner who would use natural products. I found Shawna through a friend of mine who is a naturopathic physician. I am so excited! Friday I have a professional organizer Tammy Southards from Peaceful Home Solutions coming to my home for three hours to organize my business paperwork. I have hired a professional organizer for years and had worked with Jackie Kleinschmidt from Everyday Organizing ,until she moved out to the East coast this past summer–I went through a grieving process when she left:) I had found her originally through the web-site for the National Association of Professional Organizers. I would not live without a professional organizer–I am one of these right brained creative types that loves to create and does not like to organize—but I know that my life works much better when things around me are organized.
If this wasn’t enough—I took another step—remember my plan is called “Massive Action”–and I hired Dawn Spangenberg who is and interior designer and feng shui practitioner. I will be meeting with her on Saturday. I met Dawn at an event that we were both presenting at and I liked her right away. She is grounded, fun and has a lot of spiritual depth. When I scheduled the appointment I explained to her everything I want to manifest this year and that I wanted my home and surroundings to support these intentions. She understood this right away.
I will keep you posted on my progress with my 2008 Massive Action Plan!
Would decluttering and addressing your home help you move forward in your life? If so, make a plan and enlist support for yourself–you can hire someone or ask a friend who is naturally organized to help you. Give the gift to yourself of having your surroundings support you in manifesting your dreams!
February 18th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you feel you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Faith is a bird that feels the dawn breaking and sings while it’s still dark.” Scandinavian Saying
When I first began to do Breathwork with clients, I would sit alongside of them as they would do the deep breathing pattern that is a part of the Breathwork process. At times I would feel the temperature change in the room and it was like a cool breeze was moving through the room. Moments after I would feel that sensation, the client would comment to me that they were feeling a lot of fear and that they felt cold. I was amazed how fear had such a profound impact on their body and that I could also feel this emanating from them as well. Such is the power of fear on a person.
How does fear manifest in your life? Do you get immobilized? Do you worry obsessively? Do you try to control others or the outcome of events? Does it stop you from pursuing what you really want? Does it keep you up at night? We are living in a culture of fear—with fearful events being a main focus on the news, written about in the newspapers and frequently talked about in the conversations with others.
Years ago I made a decision to not watch the news or read the newspaper as a way for me to eliminate this bias of fear and negativity in my life. It is not that I don’t care about what is happening in the world—it is that I believe that there is a much broader range of news that reflects more accurately what is happening in the world. For every act of hate and unkindness there are 100’s of acts of true kindness and caring happening between people. We have become addicted to the sensationalism of horrific and dramatic events. This takes a toll on us and our sense of well-being in the world.
How does this affect us personally? I believe that because of the energy of fear being so present in the world that we are affected personally—just like I was affected by the fear of my client who was in a state of fear. It is like moving through an energy of fear in your day to day life and if you are not conscious and aware of this you can get pulled down by it. What I have noticed in my work with clients is that if they move into a state of fear—this can be exacerbated by the collective fear that is already present in the broader energy of the world. So what I do is work with clients is to assist them with tools to work through their fear quickly so they don’t get stuck in it. The following are reasons that I don’t like clients to get stuck in fear.
Reasons to NOT get Stuck in Fear
1. Being in Fear makes you susceptible to being pulled down into a greater amount of fear by the fear that is present in the world. So what might be a small fear can turn into a much bigger fear because of the collective fear that is in the air. Like attracts like—so the denser energy of fear will attract more fear—and blow the small fear you had into a bigger fear.
2. Being in Fear removes you from the Flow of Life- The natural flow of life is easy and light. Being in fear creates a dense, heavy energy in your body so you can’t connect with the lighter flow of life. When you are in the flow of life you will get insights and intuition about how to handle the situations that you are faced with. When you are in the denser energy of fear you are cutting yourself off from these insights that could actually help you with the situation at hand.
3. Fear clouds your vision of situations- When you are looking through the lens of fear you won’t be able to see situations clearly. I remember a client of mine who was in a state of fear and listened to a phone message. She interpreted the message negatively and was upset. She said later when she was in a good mood she listened to the message again and was very surprised that she heard it so differently. She really got that her state of mind was influencing how she “heard” the message. So staying out of fear will help you see situations more clearly so you can respond in a way that will be most helpful to you.
4. Most Fear is Not Real- Most of our fears are projections of things will never come to pass. It is a non-productive emotion. In a classic study of worry, college students kept a “worry journal” for a solid month. At the end of that time, the students were asked to carefully go over their list, and check each worry that had actually come true. On the average, the researchers found that around 90% of the things these students worried about never came true at all! The researchers concluded: worry is not worth the effort. The only function of true fear is when it is of real and present danger—like you are going to be attacked by a wild animal and your life is in danger. That is fear of real and present danger. Fortunately we live in a country and time period that is relatively safe and our lives are not threatened on a daily basis. The other thing to remember is that we are eternal spiritual beings and we cannot be “killed”. Our physical body can be harmed and our human form can die—but we—our essential Spirit does not die. So our physical form can be hurt—but our Spirit can never be hurt, damaged or killed.
5. Fear is not Fun-Being in fear is very unpleasant and definitely not FUN. Our time here on earth is so short—we may as well have a lot of fun. Fear is not productive and does not move us ahead in our life—it actually holds us back. Ultimately you have the choice of where you are channeling your energy—and if the choice is between fear and fun—choose fun.
So you see the importance of not being in fear. Now we will go over tips to help you to shift from Fear to Faith. The more you practice these- the easier it will get –and then you will be living your life from a feeling of strong faith and trust rather than fear.
Tips to Transform Fear into Faith
1. Trust that you are being led to your Highest Good- How would you feel if you knew that everything you were experiencing in your life—the joyous events and the challenging ones were all for your highest good—and these events were leading you to something even better? So much worry and fear is related to the fear that things are not going to go as we would like them to and that we will miss out on something we think would make us happy. If you look back on your life notice that the most challenging times for you were the most transformative and did lead you to something better—even beyond what you could have conceived in your own mind. Trust that this will continue. Trust the divine unfolding of your life and that things are on track even if you feel in the moment that they are off track.
2. Ask yourself “What Can I Learn from This?”- When you are gripped with fear about a situation see if you can ask yourself—“How can I use this situation to learn and grow—rather than to be immobilized in fear?” This will shift you immediately from feeling like a victim—“this is happening to me and I have no power”—to a more empowered stance—“how can I use this to grow—what gift of learning does this situation contain?” Moving into a more empowered perspective will automatically move you out of fear and allow you to learn from the situation rather than get stuck.
3. Identify what you are telling yourself that is creating the Fear- Fear is actually self-created by what you are telling yourself about the situation. Let’s say that you feeling fear that you may lose your job. If we track back in your mind to the thoughts you were thinking that were creating the fear the thoughts would be “The economy is not doing well—I may lose my job” and then the next thought “If I lose my job—what will I do—there are no other jobs in my field in this area, I will have to move.” “I don’t want to move—I really love it here—now I am really afraid.” This is an example of the domino effect of a fearful thought—one fearful thought leads to another –to another etc. until the fear is quite big.
What if at the beginning you caught that fearful thought and responded back to it from a higher, trusting, more connected part of you—so in response to the thought “The economy is not doing well—I may lose my job” this higher part of you responded back “There is no evidence that my job is in jeopardy—so I don’t need to worry” or “If I would lose my job I trust that it meant that there was an even better job out there for me—that would be exciting!” You can see how the response to the fearful thought will determine if you will stay in fear or move into faith. Practice responses that are more faith focused like “I can handle whatever comes my way” “Whatever happens I know it will lead to amazing things for me” “Everything is unfolding perfectly in my life.”
4. Surround Yourself with People, Books, News that are Optimistic and Hopeful- Until you internalize a strong feeling of trust and faith you may need to make sure you surround yourself with people and information that inspire these feelings. Eliminate news that is scary, don’t spend as much time with your friend who is so fearful and don’t expose yourself to things that will trigger fear in you. Read books that are hopeful and inspirational—spend time with people who fuel your faith and trust in the goodness of life. If you have someone in your life who has strong faith and trust—notice how much easier, fun and light their life is. These people can be role models for you to embrace that level of faith also. It may take practice to stay in the state of faith, but the more you do it the easier it will be to shift into that state and stay there.
5. Do the Things You think You Cannot Do- Begin to act and take risks that move you out of your comfort zone. I remember once reading that you should challenge yourself to do one thing every day that you are afraid of. It could be something as simple as voicing your opinion when you would have kept quiet instead. It could be something bigger—like enrolling in school to pursue your dream instead of waiting until you are no longer afraid. Just because there is fear doesn’t mean you can’t do something. You can use the phrase “I feel the fear and do it anyway.” Many people who pursue and achieve their dreams report that they felt fear every step of the way, but they did not let it stop them. Don’t let fear stop you; practice acting in spite of your fear and you will get better at not allowing it to hold you back in your life.
6. Use What You’re Afraid of as Feedback for an Area You Need To Grow In- If you fears tend to have a central theme—see if you can understand where the root cause of this may be. For example if your fears tend to be around the fear of losing someone close to you—do you have unresolved grief from a previous loss of someone close to you? Or if many of your fears center around feeling insecure—you may need to do some work to see your own worth and lovability more clearly. These reoccurring fears may be signaling a deeper healing that is important for you and they won’t go away until you address the root issue.
7. Eliminate Worry- One of the main ways that fear gets expressed is through our worries. Worry is a projection of a fearful event we think will come to pass. As mentioned previously in this article 90% of our worries never come to pass. To prove this to yourself try keeping a worry journal for the next 2 weeks and just jot down your worries as they come to you. Then a month later—look at the worries and see how many of them truly came to pass. Also notice the content of the worries—was the event you worried about something you could control or not control? If it is an event in which you have no control—than why worry? I have worked with clients who have an irrational belief that if they worry about something enough that they can somehow prevent that event from happening. Once they get that this doesn’t work and is just causing them needless suffering—they are able to let it go. If it is a worry that you do have control over than instead of worrying, focus on planning.
8. Plan more and Worry Less- If the event you are worrying about is within your control and you can have a positive impact on what happens -than channel your energy into planning, not worrying. This will help you shift from feelings of powerlessness that come from worrying—to a more positive, empowered stance of feeling in control of your life. When you are worrying—ask yourself “Is this something I have control over?” –if so then stop worrying and instead develop a plan to address it. If you don’t have control over what you are worrying about than just let it go.If this is challenging to do—try developing a positive statement or a positive image (you on the beach) as a replacement to the unnecessary worry. I have a client who recently told me she uses the song “You are my sunshine” as her replacement when she is in worry or negativity.
9. Don’t Worry, Be Happy- One of the major findings regarding happy people is that they worry a lot less than most others do. It is not so much that happy people have no problems or concerns; it’s just that they don’t dwell on them. The more time you spend in worry and fear—the less time you have for happiness and joy. This is your choice moment by moment.
10. Use Having Fun as a Way to Shift Out of Fear- One way to help yourself shift out of fear is to do something that is fun for you. It could be something as simple as singing your favorite song, listening to music you love, watching a funny show that cracks you up. Fun and fear are opposite emotional states and moving into fun can help you let go of your fear. So next time you feel fear or panic set in say to yourself “It’s time to go and have some FUN!”
Staying in Faith rather than Fear will help your life flow more smoothly. If you can imagine your life as a float down a river—the more you relax and stay in faith, you can enjoy the journey more –trusting you are going to even better places than you can even imagine!
I will be giving a presentation titled “Transforming Fear into Faith” this Weds. February 20th from 6-7 p.m at Fitnessology, 3221 Voyager Drive, Green Bay, WI 54311. Come learn my favorite fear-busting techniques to help you shift into more faith, trust and peace in your life!
February 12th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
What habits do you have that hold you back? Is it procrastination, overeating, watching too much T.V., not exercising etc? I’m sure you can easily rattle off what these unhealthy habits are for you . I’m sure you have maybe struggled with one or two of these habits for years. You may have been able to stop your unhealthy habit for a week, a month or maybe even a few months. What is it going to take for this to be completely eliminated from your life?
One of the first things to do is understand at a deeper level how this unhealthy habit serves you–how it helps you on some level. A great way to find this out is to actually dialogue with the unhealthy habit. Take out a piece of paper and with your dominant hand–the hand that you write with- ask the question to your habit “How do you help me?” and then close your eyes and see what pops into your head–even if it doesn’t make sense to you–and then write it down with your non-dominant hand. Writing with your non-dominant hand is a way to to access more of the unconscious information inside of you. If you have tried to consciously change a pattern for years and haven’t had success, you know that there is an unconscious pattern that needs to be understood and addressed.
You will be surprised at what information you will find out by doing this exercise. You may find out that your procastination says back to you “I’m afraid if you do this you will fail and I want to protect you from this–so I won’t let you finish it.” Reassuring your procrastination that there really is no failure only learning–and by taking the risk and completing the task–that is the success–not the actual outcome. The other thing to let your procrastination know is that your performance does not define you—what you create or do is an expression of you, but does not define who you are. Who you are is already whole and complete and cannot be dimished by any of your actions–or outcomes of things that you create or do.
What do your unhealthy habits have to say to you? Ask and find out the good reasons why they are doing what they are doing!
February 8th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
Do hear the voice of your intuition–or is it crowded out by all of the other thoughts you have in your head? Or do you hear the voice of your intuition but don’t follow it? Our intuition is our built in navigational system. It is designed to help us make decisions that will enable us to create an amazing, joyful life. Many people have gotten so used to ignoring the soft, gentle nudgings of their intuition and instead make decisions based on the thoughts in their head—what they think they “should” do. What has you intuition been telling you to do lately? See if you can tune into this and write it down. It might be a new message or something you have been hearing for a few years.
I am in Chicago at a training with Sonia Choquette, author of “Your Heart’s Desire” and “Trust Your Vibes”. Yesterday she had us do an exercise of tuning into our intuitive messages and making a plan to put these into action. It was amazing as she went around the room–asking the different people in the class what their intuition was telling them and how long they had been getting this message. Many people had been getting the intuitive message to do a certain thing for years! It just really showed me how much we have all been trained to ignore and discount this inner voice. The ironic thing is the very thing that our intuition is telling us to do would improve our lives dramatically.
Some of the resistance we have is that if we act on our intuition we would transform our lives and some things may need to change that we may not have the courage to change. See if this is the case for you. Ask yourself—”What fear do I have if I would fully follow my intuition?” Are you willing to face this fear and make a decision to act on it despite these fears? You may want to connect with a friend and see if you can support each other with this. Talk about what your intuition has been telling you and what actions you need to take—and then support each other to follow through on this.
What is your intuition telling you today? Develop a plan to take action to do what it is telling you to do and watch your life dramatically transform!
February 6th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
One of the things that is so facinating for me is when I meet with people either clients or out socially and I notice that they really don’t get how wonderful they are. They can’t see the the light, the love, the magnificence of who they really are. They are caught up in a self-perception that is inaccurate and untrue. It could be a self-perception that is based on negative comments people made to them as a kid “You are so stupid” “Why are you doing it that way” “What is wrong with you”. Or it could be based on what they interpreted by the way others treated them example: if their parents were caught up in their own pain and struggles and didn’t spend time with them they may have interpreted this as “I am not worthy enough to spend time with–something is wrong with me”.
As a child and oftentimes as an adult people don’t understand that if someone is saying hurtful things or treating someone in unloving ways- it means that their hearts are closed and they are unable to see themselves or the other person clearly. I say to clients that the comments they hear that are hurtful are coming from someone who has a closed heart—therefore their perception is distorted. It is like this person is looking through a dirty window and they only see the dirt, but not what is really on the other side of the window. If someone’s heart is open their vision is clear and they can see accurately.
So if you think back to hurtful comments you have heard from people–trust that their hearts were closed and they weren’t seeing you clearly and these comments are not true. If you think back to the loving comments you have heard from others-trust that these comments were coming from someone whose heart was open and therefore they were able to see you clearly–these comments are true!
What happens is people hear these hurtful comments or experience someone being unloving to them -they take these as true and accurate. This then distorts their own vision of themselves. They too are looking at themselves through a distorted lens that is blocking out the truth of who they really are. I suggest to clients to catch themselves when they are operating from an old false view of themselves that are inaccurate. Then if they open their own hearts to themselves with an intention to see themselves through the eyes of love–they can see the truth of who they really are.
Exercise to see your Authentic Self more Clearly
Try this right now. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Breath into your heart and imagine a color that represents unconditional love—see this color filling and opening your heart. Feel this color permeating your body–this energy of love. Then ask your intuition and the highest part of you to show you a vision of who you really are in your minds eye. The vision may come in vibrant colors of your essence, or images of you as a loving child or some other image that helps you to see yourself more accurately. Trust what comes and see this as the truth of who you really are!
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