March 31st, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
The key to shifting our lives is changing our conditioned thoughts and patterns with how we view ourselves and how we view what is possible. When we are in our conditioned self we will view ourselves through the lens of judgement and we will perceive what is possible for us as very limited. Thoughts like “I could never reach my dreams” “I’m not capable of doing that” “That will NEVER happen for me” or “I don’t have what is takes to really do what I want to do”.
A great way to quickly shift yourself out of this negativity is to put positive statement and phrases into a song–or a catchy phrase you sing. You can sing “I am amazing and I am creating the life of my dreams” or one that I got from inspirational singer Karen Drucker from her Songs of the Spirit II CD is “Money is coming to me easily and effortlessly money is coming to me!” It doesn’t have to rhyme—you don’t have to be a fabulous singer ( although I believe everyone is a fabulous singer!) Have fun with it and make up your own inspirational songs. A great place to do this is in the car—you can really belt it out then!! Have fun with it—create your own songs and sing them LOUD. The more you occupy yourself with your positive songs–the more you will crowd the airways so the negativity can’t take hold and keep you down. It will also lift your vibration very high and it will be impossible for you to feel down!
Have fun and Sing Your Songs about what you want and the more you sing them—the more you will begin to believe them–and before you know it you will have Sung yourself into your Wildest Dreams!
I would love to hear what your songs are!
March 27th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
I was ran across this video in two places yesterday and just loved it. It is about a Harvard trained neuroanatomist, Jill Bolte Taylor and her experience of having a stroke that was triggered by a brain hemorrhage. She is very passionate and moving in her sharing of her experience. Her message reinforces the work that I do with clients—which is to move them into operating out of their true self, their Authentic Self—to really get who they are—to use their right brain to experience this and have their left brain be at the service of the truest part of them. It is 18 minutes long—but well worth it. Enjoy! (Have a tissue on hand:) Let me know what you think of it! Click here to get to the video
March 26th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
We are always in an evolving cycle of change and ultimately expanding. Sometimes we welcome this change with open arms, sometimes we resist with all of our might. It can be helpful to know which stage you are in–so you can understand what is going on for you–and work with this process of change rather than against it. Here are the four stages:
- Dissatisfaction or what I call “feeling the gap”. This is when when there is a large gap between where you are and were you would like to be. You might not be completely clear where you want to be. You may just have the clarity that what you are experiencing now is not working for you. This is an uncomfortable place to be and oftentimes I have clients come to me and label this stage as “depression”. Try to frame the dissatisfaction as information signalling you to grow rather than labeling it as a permanent position ex. “I will always feel this way–my life never goes that way I want it to.” How you frame it can change your experience of it. If you frame it as a signal for growth you will feel empowered—if you focus on it from a state of helplessness you will feel despair.
- Exploration-In this stage you feel the dissatisfaction, but you don’t quite know what would feel better to you. Or you have a sense of what would feel better, but you don’t know how to get there. This is the stage where you explore options and “try them on” to see how it would feel or you explore options of how to get where you want to go. It is important to take your time in this phase to truly explore. People oftentimes feel uncomfortable with the lack of certainty at this point and may try to bypass this by choosing an option to get out of this stage. Reassure yourself that you will come to an option that feels right to you–just give it time. The other thing to watch in this stage is the opposite—exploring so much that you get confused and stuck in considering options. Sometimes people fear making a change and hang out in the exploration stage as a safety zone to not take any risks. Make sure you aren’t doing this either.
- Action/Visualization- In this stage you have clarity about where you want to go and you develop a plan to get there. Again you may know where you want to go but are unclear of a plan to get there—and this is something that needs to be finalized in this stage. You may have developed somewhat of a plan in the exploration stage–and in this stage you will clarify this plan and begin to implement. In this stage it is important to get support for you to stay on track with your implementation– without support–fears that surface may sidetrack you and stop you from moving forward. You can share with a close friend or partner your plan and ask them to be an accountability buddy to you. The other part of this stage is to spend time visualizing the positive outcome of your desired change. See it working out in the easiest, magical and fun way. This vision can help keep you focused when your desired change is in process and not quite complete. The phrase “keep your eye on the prize” is fitting here.
- Stepping into the New- Moving into your change can be a gradual process or it could come more quickly–like meeting your Soulmate within weeks of this process–or your dream job lands in your lap overnight. Either way there is an adjustment phase to the new change. There can be feelings of loss from letting go of the old–even though you were dissatisfied -it represented the familiar to you. With the new changes may come feelings of having a new identity or parts of you being expressed that have never been expressed before. Typically people feel more aliveness and vitality in this stage. You can also feel a deep sense of satisfaction that you made a change that was in alignment with your Authentic Self–you feel on path with your life and that you are doing what you came here to do.
What stage are you in? How are you framing this stage—are you viewing it positively or are you stuck in resisting it?
I would love to hear from you!
March 22nd, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
Over the years of working with clients I have noticed something about people who have chronic money issues. These people tend to have a deep addiction to a victim pattern. Now I know that this is a tough pill to swallow if you are struggling with money right now–but it is important to address it at the root cause otherwise the pattern will just continue. If you struggle with money issues–it is giving you feedback that you have a victim pattern that needs to be addressed. Even if your money issues are not huge—but you are frustrated in this area of your life—it means you are stuck in a vicitm pattern.
One of the things to do to shift out of this pattern is to first take 100% responsibility for the status of your financial life. Let go of blame of others or circumstances and get that you have created this situation. The good news is that once you get that you have created it–you move into empowerment and know that you can create something different as well. Your financial life is an outpicturing of your thoughts—your thoughts about money and about yourself. These thoughts determine your actions and these actions will lead to results. So your money issues no matter how small or big are giving you feedback that your thoughts which lead to your actions are off track. These thoughts and actions can be so subtle that it can be difficult to get that you are the one creating what you are experiencing.
Let me illustrate this:
Example: Cindy can never get ahead financially. She always seems to have more bills than money coming in at the end of the month. This has been going on for as long as she can remember. As we worked together we discovered that Cindy didn’t really value herself and her deservability around having enough money. She remembers her single Mom struggling when she was a child and she thought that–that was just the way it is for women–they just weren’t meant to have enough money. Unfortunately Cindy’s Mom didn’t value herself enough to take positive action to bring more money in–she stayed stuck in a painful situation her whole life. Her Mom was stuck in a victim pattern and didn’t chose to get help to shift out of it. Cindy was able to see that because of her experiences as a child she felt less than and that she didn’t deserve abundance–and repeated the pattern of her Mother by feeling helpless over changing this. The first step was for her to awknowledge that she was recreating this situation for herself.
The importance of this is that if you blame outside circumstances–the economy, your job, your boss etc–you are stuck in a victim position and from this place you will never make the needed changes to bring in abundance. Once Cindy awknowledged that she was the one creating this–she was both relieved and excited. She knew that if she was the one creating her situation–then she could “uncreate” it and create something different. We explored what she wanted to create instead and it was that she wanted to make $10,000 more a year and that she wanted a surplus of money at the end of the month so she could save and invest. The next step was for her to open up to valuing herself and her gifts at a deep level. She wrote out all of her wonderful intrinsic qualities and also all of her gifts and talents. She worked on seeing that she deserved ease and abundance in her life–she used that as an affirmation “I deserve ease and abundance in my life”. She also used the affirmations “I easily bring in $10,000 this year” and “I have a surplus of money at the end of the month that I save and invest.” The next step was for her to brainstorm ways that she could bring in the extra $10,000 a year—these were her ideas—asking for a raise at work, starting a side business that she had been thinking about, selling some furniture she had in the basement, finding a different job that paid more. As she brainstormed she felt more and more empowered. She realized that she was capabable of bringing in more money–and that she had many different ways of doing that.
The final thing we did I guided her in an imagery where she opened up to all channels of abundance for herself—that she opened up to money coming to her in magical and unexpected ways–I had her release her beliefs about how money could only come through one channel–her job–and open up to every possible way–and particularly the magical ways. After a month of working on this issue she came to her session beaming—she had brought in $2000 extra dollars! This came in a variety of ways–including her Aunt sending her a $500 check out of the blue! Cindy felt excited, empowered and ecstatic that she had finally stepped out of this stuck pattern that caused her and her Mother so much pain.
Make a decision today to take 100% responsibility for what is happening in your financial life. Now decide what you would like to create instead and take action to bring this into your life! If you want to jump start your transformation around money—attend my upcoming “Transform Your Relationship with Money” half day Workshop on Saturday March 29th.
March 10th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
I had the All You Joy You Can Stand! Workshop this past Saturday. The Workshop was filled to capacity and during the Breathwork session we had to fit people in the hallway (The hallway gang had a lot of fun together:) There was a lot of big breakthroughs and people becoming aware of the patterns that block their Joy. Yesterday I was looking at a little video I had taken of the group dancing and doing a Canga Line–I was laughing so hard as I was filming it— and I was laughing each time I watched it! I wish you could see it! We were having so much fun. It is always amazing to see the transformative power of Joy.
We all have limits on the amount of Joy we allow ourselves to feel–based on our fears and false beliefs about Joy. There is always a higher level of Joy that we can reach for—there are no limits! It is time for you to feel more Joy in your life NOW! For many people they have suffered so much in their life that they have a back log of Joy that needs to be felt and expressed. Here are some tips to blow the lid of your Joy Limit!
- Take a chance–do something goofy and out of the ordinary today. Start dancing with your co-worker, tell a joke, tell joyful story to someone, smile and be extra friendly to someone at the grocery store.
- Think about what you love about your life and tell someone about it. Share your Joy with someone else. Ex. “I love my kids so much, they bring so much joy to my life. “I love that I am healthy and that I am able to do the things I love to do.”
- Put on the music and DANCE! Let go of self-judgment and let yourself dance. EVERYBODY is a good dancer and I believe everyone deep down inside loves to dance. What keeps you from loving it is your own self-consciousness and fears about what other people will think. Let go of what they think and just dance?
- Put on the music and SING! On your way home from work today—put on some of your favorite music and SING–or make up your own song. I believe everyone has a beautiful voice and we are meant to me singing throughout the day.
- Make a plan to do something that brings you Joy this next weekend that you haven’t done in awhile. Plan joyful things in your schedule and treat these activities as essential ways to feed your Spirit. Doing the things that bring you Joy will give you more energy. So if you are feeling low energy— it is time to plan for some more Joy.
- Feel the Joy of the Present Moment- Drop out of your head and into your body. Let go of worry about the future. Whatever you are doing right now–find the joy right here and now. Feel the sensations of moving your body, seeing everything around you, really feel and be present for the interactions with other people. Find the Joy of the moment.
Set your intention to blow the lid off of your Joy Limits and watch your life Transform!
What is your favorite way to shift into Joy?
March 6th, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
It was my Birthday on Tuesday and I had such a great day. I worked a little bit (which is fun for me) but then I took the rest of the day off. I relaxed in the morning and looked at pictures of when I was a baby and wondered how I felt coming into the world. I was appreciative of all the love that I had around me—from my Mom, Dad and 4 year old brother. I had lunch with a good friend at one of my favorite restaurants Cafe’ Mario. I got a hug from Mario—my friend and I joke that when you hug Mario it lasts the whole day because his cologne rubs off on your cheek and you can smell him the rest of the day! A friend of mine has an outdoor hot tub and she let me use it in the afternoon. There was a “refreshing” north wind that was whistling through so I had my winter hat on! I then met for dinner with my family at one of our favorite spots—Sammy’s Pizza—a family owned Italian restaurant. I didn’t realize until now that I had an Italian theme going on! I will meet with friends on Friday night for even more celebration.
One of the things I encourage my clients to do is to really celebrate their Birthday in a way that is special for them. I suggest the following:1. Take the day off from any kind of work
2. Plan your own day—don’t wait for anyone else to plan a party for you—take charge
of how you want to celebrate and who you want to celebrate with.
3. Look at pictures of yourself when you were little—appreciate and love your unique, beautiful essence. Look at current pictures of yourself and feel love for you now as well.
4. Write yourself a love letter expressing gratitude for who you are—all of your amazing qualities and the unique gifts of your Essence.
5. Take in the love that is expressed to you from your friends and family—really open up to receiving the love they want to share with you.
6. Look in the mirror and love your body—celebrate this magnificent form that allows you to experience life with all of your senses—see the beauty around you, hug those you love, hear beautiful music, pet an animal, hold a baby. Love your body as it changes with each year. Appreciate rather than judge your body.
7. Appreciate where you are in your life and trust that you are right where you need to be right now.
8. Look to the upcoming year and visualize what you would like for your life. Allow yourself to expand your vision for what is possible for you. Listen to your Spirit and see what direction it wants to go in—in the next year.
9. Make sure your day is filled with things that are fun for you and that you love.
So think ahead to your own Birthday and what you would like to experience this year on that special day and start planning!!I would love to hear what special things you love to do on your Birthday!
March 3rd, 2008, by Shelley Riutta
The conditioned part of us is addicted to negative thinking. When I work with clients who are transitioning from their Conditioned self to moving into their Authentic self—it can be similiar to breaking a severe addiction. Negative thoughts will pull them back into their conditioned, false self in a blink of an eye. One of the keys to change is to first identify when you are in your Conditioned self and when you are in your Authentic Self. You can tell this in two ways–one is the tone of the thoughts–the thoughts of the Conditioned self are negative and limiting—and then also to how you feel when you are having the thoughts–when you are having thoughts from your conditioned self you will feel depressed, hopeless, bad about yourself, anxious etc.
In contrast, when you are having thoughts from your Authentic Self they will be positive and expansive thoughts which will lead to you feeling light, hopeful, excited and happy. So a good first step is just moment by moment asking yourself–”Am I in my Conditioned self of Authentic self?” The next step then is to decide for example– if you are in your Conditioned self –if you are going to continue that thought or your current thinking. It is a choice–although at the beginning it will feel like those thoughts are in charge of you! Getting back to how this is like an addiction–breaking the habit of these thoughts can be like going through withdrawal. I will illustrate that with this example;
Jane had been making a lot of progress in living from her Authentic Self. She was taking loving actions every day to take care of herself, she had very loving relationships and she was doing work that she loved—essentially she was living the life of her dreams. Yet she found she would scan the horizon looking for something “not right”. Once she found the thing she perceived as “not right” she would focus on it until she felt unhappy and anxious.
In her session we discussed how this pattern was shifting her into her conditioned self and then blocking her from really enjoying how wonderful her life was. I shared with her that the conditioned self “feeds” off of negativity and if there is none obviously there–it will find something and expand it so it feels big. She felt relieved when we discussed this because she would feel so happy and joyful about herself and her life—and then she would have these periods of feeling “down” that didn’t make sense to her. Once we uncovered what was creating that she was able to see this pull towards negativity as her conditioned self trying to “feed” off of negativity. She was able to tell herself that she didn’t need to go there and it was OK to enjoy and appreciate the beautiful life she had created–and to sustain this feeling.
Even if your life isn’t exactly as you would like it right now you can still view it from your Authentic Self. If you view it from your Authentic Self you would appreciate the wonderful things you do have in your life now–even as you move forward to make the changes you would like. You can trust that you are moving in a positive direction and you will get to where you want—and most importantly you will appreciate every step of the way! Staying in your Authentic Self will allow the process to be easier and also to go faster.
What are you feeding today—the thoughts of your Conditioned Self or the positive, uplifting thoughts of your Authentic Self?
Needing support to be in your Authentic Self—then the All You Can Stand! Workshop is the place to be. For details click here ALL YOU CAN STAND! WORKSHOP For those of you that live at a distance I am hoping to record the Workshop do you can get the audio CD’s and handouts from the Workshop. Stay tuned!
