If you don’t take steps to gain clarity about your life purpose and pursue this–you will begin to feel an increasing sense of feeling stuck.  Sometimes this will even lead to feelings of depression and anxiety.  Despite these uncomfortable feelings, many people still won’t take action.  Why would this be?

Many people avoid discovering their life purpose because of the fear of the changes it might call them to make in their life.  They fear rocking the boat, upsetting the status quo and stepping out into the unknown.  They ask “What will my life look like living my life purpose?” and “Can I trust if I take the leap- I will succeed?” and “Can I make mon-ey at my life purpose?”

 I believe the epidemic use of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication is a band-aid for the underlying issue of being disconnected from one’s true self–and one’s true purpose. Stifling and suppressing who we are and what we came here to do has consequences of making us feel despair, hopelessness and creating anxiety.  Our true self is filled with passion, creativity and a purpose that desires to be fully expressed.

Are you following the path of your life purpose?  Do you feel filled with aliveness, vibrancy and excitement about your life? Are you taking the risks to find out your life purpose and to pursue it? What are the consequences of NOT doing it?   There is also an incredible loss of you not following your purpose–there is your own loss of the joy of following your passion–but also the loss of the people who will miss out on what you came to share.  Everyone loses—you and the world.

Looking at some of the questions people typically have when trying to find their life purpose can help  you sort through some of the common fears and questions that may hold you back.

Questions I get asked when people come to me wanting to find their life purpose.

Will it be easy? Yes and no.  It will take hard work but you won’t mind because of you will enjoy what you are doing.  You are also willing to do some of the hard, tedious work because of the passion you have for what you are doing.  Your passion will carry you a long way.  That is why it must be something you are passionate about because it will allow you to preserve in the face of the hard work and challenges.

Will I feel uncomfortable? Yes and no.  You will feel a sense of peace and deep knowing that you are on track and doing what you came here to do.  You will also be challenged to grow and expand beyond your comfort zone.  You may need to learn new skills–are you willing to be a beginner again?  You may be a novice at the skills you need to develop.  Are you willing to go to school, learn from others, read and study? Just because you may be a beginner doesn’t mean it’s not your life purpose or you can’t be successful.  A willingness to be a beginner and go through the learning process is an important part of pursuing your life purpose. 

 You may need to move past limiting beliefs about who you are and what you are capable of doing.  You will be called to release all the limitations that hold you back from manifesting your full potential.  You must be willing to heal and step into more of who you truly are.   It will be both exhilarating and at times scary —but well worth it!

What if the people in my life don’t support me? Some people will be able to support you wholeheartedly and others—because of their own fears, won’t be as supportive.  Trust that as you move forward that the support will show up for you–reminding you that you are on track and not alone.  At times you may feel alone as you pursue your passion–but these times are opportunities for deepening your own connection with yourself and your spiritual support.  It is a time to go deep within and connect with the strength and vision of your own Spirit.

 I also encourage people to look for a support group of like-minded people who are also pursuing their passions.  You can give and receive support from people who really understand what you are going through.  I offer these kind of structured groups to help people while they are in the process of finding and pursuing their life purpose.  Learning both to access your own inner strength and also getting enough support are essential to make the process easier for you.

What if I can’t figure out my Life Purpose—what if I don’t have one? You cannot NOT have a life purpose.  Your life purpose will look different from someone else’s life purpose.  Let go of thinking it has to look a certain way to be your life purpose.  I find that people who struggle with figuring it out have not connected deeply enough with themselves to gain the clarity they need. If you are searching externally for your life purpose you will more than likely go around and around in your search.  You will find your purpose through getting to know the authentic you more.  We all have been trained to look externally for answers rather than connecting with the wisdom we have inside.

Sometimes someone’s life purpose can be right underneath their nose.  I remember one time in a session with a client and she was going around and around about figuring out her life purpose.  I asked her to be quiet and connect with her Spirit and answer from her Spirit what her life purpose was—she stated it simply and clearly and opened her eyes in disbelief.  She didn’t think it could be that easy.  What was blocking her awareness was all of the clutter of the fears about pursuing her purpose.  She kept herself from knowing so she wouldn’t have to face her fears and take action to pursue her purpose.

What if I pursue my Life Purpose and fail? You will be supported as you move in the direction of your life purpose.  The only thing that can block you is your own negativity and limited thinking.  The more you clear this away and operate from your authentic self you will succeed.  Your own negativity can cloud your vision of your next step and the opportunities all around you that are supporting you.  Your negativity can cause you to give up in the face of a challenge or obstacle. 

Remember what I said above–you will be required to stretch and grow as you are living your purpose.  If in the face of an obstacle and you move into negativity and give up—you will fail.  But instead if you look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow—and continue to move forward–you will succeed.

Persistence and perseverance are key in being successful at your life purpose.  Mark Victor Hanson and Jack Canfield presented their idea for the Chicken Soup for the Soul book to 100 publishers before it was accepted.  Can you stay true to your purpose in the face of rejection?  What I have found is that these kind of experiences can help people move more into a deeper belief in themselves and their purpose.  Do you have the courage to believe in yourself when no one around you believes in you?  Many successful people are successful because of their ability to do just that.  This belief in themselves allows them to persevere when others would give up.

There is a book titled “The Luck Factor” by Richard Wiseman which documents the common traits of lucky and successful people.  One of the traits is that they would persist in the face of challenges and have confidence that the obstacles were actually helping them achieve their goals.  They viewed challenges differently than “unlucky” people.  He found that lucky people are able to transform their bad luck into good fortune by using different psychological techniques.  For example, they see the positive side of the challenge, they do not dwell on the challenge, they are convinced the situation in the long run will work out for the best and they take a proactive approach to the situation. 

So your “Success” in following your life purpose will be determined a great deal by your own mindset and the positive action you take.

Will I be able to make Mon-ey at my Life Purpose?(Mon-ey is spelled with a hyphen–otherwise this newsletter would get stuck in your spam filter:) Yes, and you have to be willing to learn how to do this.  For some professions, the path to making mon-ey is pretty straightforward and clear cut.  For other professions you may be doing something unique and so the path to make mon-ey may not be as clear.  It is important to find someone who comes close to what you want to do and is doing it very successfully and learn from them.  Or you can connect with a business development program in your area that supports people starting businesses.  They can be great resources on how to translate what your passion is into a mon-ey making business. 

You may be a pioneer in the field and could use extra support and your own creativity to find a way to make mon-ey at your life purpose.  You may want to pursue a field that has a stereotype of not being lucrative–like: being an artist, musician, healer etc.  The good news is we are living in the era of the creative entrepreneur and thousands of people around the world are taking these professions into a new realm of mon-ey making possibility. 

Find someone who is doing this and learn from what they are doing.  Use what they are doing as creative inspirations for your own ideas as well.

What if my relationships change as I follow my purpose? Your relationships will change.  You are growing and expanding as you pursue your life purpose.  You have chosen the path of vitality and aliveness.  As you grow you will inspire those around you to grow and follow their dreams as well.  These relationships will get closer.  Other people may take longer to grow—or may grow in a way that is different then you.  Trust that the relationships that are meant to be long term for you will adapt and grow with the change. 

As time goes on it will become clear which relationships are growing and which ones you are outgrowing.  Trust that when you get to that point of having to let go of some of your relationships it will be a natural letting go process that will just make sense.  There are some people we are meant to journey with our whole lives and some that come to be with us for a certain period of time.  I have seen clients who have stopped their own growth because they fear that if they keep growing they will outgrow their relationships.

 It is unpredictable what will happen–you can’t guarantee that someone will not grow along with you–you will be surprised.  The only way to know for sure is to take the leap and trust that whatever happens will be in the highest good for everybody involved!

What if I don’t have the talents or skills to do my Life Purpose? Trust that you have all that you need to fulfill your life purpose.  It wouldn’t be a desire of yours if you didn’t have the capabilities to do it.  Like I mentioned above you may need to learn new skills and work at it–but you will have the desire to do this because it is your life purpose.  Again, you may need to release false beliefs about yourself.  You may not be viewing your capabilities accurately.  You may be viewing yourself through the eyes of your conditioned self–which is full of false beliefs and distortions. 

Doing some work to clear these distortions away and see yourself clearly will help open the door for your self-worth to soar.  You will be amazed at how much you are truly capable of.

Now that you have more clear information about finding and pursuing your life purpose–are you ready to take the leap?  See if you can identify one small step to move towards finding and pursuing your life purpose.  It might be something like setting aside a few hours of quiet time for you to journal and connect with yourself.  Or it might mean doing research on an area that is of interest to you.  Write down what step you would like to take and make a promise to yourself to follow through and do it.

If you need extra support I will be doing a three month Life Purpose Mentoring Program (a class that meets on the phone) titled “What Do You REALLY Want: Finding Your Life Purpose” starting in September. I will be unveiling the details of this program during the “Secrets of Finding Your Life Purpose” tele-class on Weds. August 13th at 7 p.m. Central.  I will also post information on my web-site later on Weds.

Wishing you all the best on finding and aligning with your unique Life Purpose!


                                                                        

If you missed the last call, “The Power of Your Own Pleasure” don’t worry–I have a recording of the presentation available.  This audio is a must if you want to open up to more fun and pleasure in your life. It was a really great call so if you missed it be sure to get a copy!   For more details 

“Fun is Good.” Dr. Seuss

Are you having enough fun in your life?  Belly laughs that make your stomach hurt, laughing so hard that you are crying (one of my favorites), that light open feeling in your body of pure fun.  You will probably know the answer to this quickly and if you are like many people today, the answer will be NO.

Traveling in Bali—Balinese Culture compared to the United States
When I was traveling in Bali, one of the things that I learned that really stuck with me was that when the Balinese have a spiritual ceremony, they will not begin the ceremony until they feel the presence of the God’s and Goddesses they have invited.  One of the things that they believe draws these spiritual presences near is celebration and fun.  So if they are not feeling the energy of the God’s and Goddesses, they know they are not having enough fun.  They then know that  they need to step it up a notch and celebrate even more, open their hearts even more to raise the vibration to a higher level.   They know when they are on track when they feel the energy shift with the presence of the Gods.

 Now imagine in our culture if spiritual traditions would not begin unless everyone felt this shift happen.  The Pastor or Priest saying to the crowd  “I’m sorry folks but we can’t begin until you are having more fun out there–come on—have some fun.” Could you imagine the look of bewilderment on people’s faces getting this kind of instruction “What do they mean fun—right now?!”  Yes, this would be shocking for a lot of people in our culture.  We aren’t used to celebrating and having fun together–this is not something that comes easily and naturally for most people.

Our Innate Capacity to Have Fun
The capacity to have fun is something that we are born with, it is innate.  Just looking at small children and you will see the natural capacity to play and have fun.  What happens to this as we get older?  Some people are able to retain this ability to have fun, play with others and laugh easily. 

For many people this capacity gets lost with increased responsibilities of a job, having children, caring for elderly parents —feeling overwhelmed with the stress of everyday living.  There can be an attitude that the fun will happen when the work is done—but you know the work is never really done.  Fun tends to get put on the back burner—and for many people it is on the back burner for so long they forget even how to have it or what it is like.  I have clients who say to me “I don’t even know how to have fun, I don’t even know where to start.”

This article will give you ideas on how to start having more fun, but first I want to share with you some compelling reasons why Fun needs to be a priority in YOUR life.

WHY FUN IS GOOD FOR YOU
1. Having Fun is your Natural State-We were born to have fun.  Look at little babies they are giggling and laughing—they are little fun machines—having fun is like breathing for them.  This is who we are deep inside—we are little fun machines—wanting to have fun and play.  That is why it feels so good to be around babies and children—they remind us of who we really are and we connect with that energy just by being around them.

2.  Having Fun Helps Your Life Work Better
 When we are more aligned with our natural state our lives work better, we are  more in the flow.  When our bodies are tense with being serious, worrying, being so busy– life becomes hard and a struggle–we are out of alignment with our natural state.  When we are relaxed, having fun–things flow easier—solutions to what we need to do in our life come easier to us in this state. 

When we are in alignment with our natural state are bodies can be healthier and stronger.  Just like a car out of alignment doesn’t function optimally—we too function better when we are in alignment with our natural state—how we are designed to function.  We are designed to function with having a lot of fun and ease in our life.

3. Having Fun Gives You More Energy- Having fun feeds your Spirit.  Using
the car analogy again-just like a car needs certain things to give it energy to
operate.  We need basic things for our body to function- like air, food, water and shelter. But we are much more than our bodies, we are Spirits housed in our bodies.  We also need fuel for our Spirits to thrive and feel uplifted.  You know what it is like to feel like your Spirit is sagging—life becomes dull and lifeless and you think—”what is the point?”  That is when you know you need to feed your Spirit.

  What feeds our Spirit is the intangible but crucial aspects of living—love, fun, pleasure, intimacy with others, and connection to Spirit.   I have health conscious clients who are doing wonderful things to support their physical bodies, yet they are still feeling sick or have low energy.  That is because they are not attending to the feeding of their Spirit.  By starting to feed their Spirit with having fun they are amazed at how much energy this brings.

4. Having Fun Attracts Good Things to You- Years ago I was out to dinner with some good friends and we were having so much fun that other people in the restaurant would come up and talk with us.  One woman came up and said that she couldn’t keep her eyes off of us, we were having so much fun that she wanted to join us.  Everybody likes to have fun and when we are having a lot of fun—we are a like a magnet to others—they want to be around us and have fun too.  We are like the Balinese Gods and Goddesses—wanting to come near when there is fun and celebration.  
          
Fun attracts in another way as well.  Fun is a higher frequency. To explain  what this means—think of a time when you walked into a room where people
were getting along and having a lot of fun—didn’t the energy of the room feel “lighter”  Now think of a time when you walked into a room where people were arguing and there was anger—didn’t the energy feel “heavy” and dense.This is an example of the difference in energy frequencies that we can be in.  Like frequencies tend to gravitate towards each other—light energy tends to draw light energy—dense energy tends to draw other dense energy.  So when we are having more fun, our energy is lighter and will tend to attract other light  energy things—whether it’s other people who are having fun, or experiences that are more positive and “light.”

5. Having Fun has a Positive Ripple Effect on Those Around You-  Think about what it is like to be in a room with someone who is really happy and having fun—this energy is contagious and pretty soon you start to feel good too.

Because of my interest in positive emotional states, I decided to do a research experiment.  My experiment was to see what would happen if I would maintain a real happy, joyful emotional state in the midst of all of this stress and tension. I walked through the airport smiling at people–maintaining my state of joy and relaxation.  When I went through security I was picked to go through the more in depth search line.  The people in this line were even more frustrated and upset. 

What I believe is that we are easily influenced by the emotional states of those around us.  Like my example above–holding a positive state of having fun and lightness can easily shift those around you into a lighter state as well.  And isn’t this the kind of effect you want to have on those around you!

HOW TO HAVE MORE FUN
1.Make a List of What You Love to Do for Fun- Even if your list is short, still write it down.  It is like priming the pump to write these things down.  Then what happens is your inner fun machine will start to come up with even more ideas.  Give yourself permission to write down anything, even if it seems silly to you.  Then begin to integrate these fun things into your day and see what happens.

2.Make Fun a Priority in Your Life-Begin your day with an intention to have a lot of fun.  People who have a lot of fun in their life—have made
fun a priority and routinely do things that create fun throughout their days. It could be turning a boring meeting into one that is fun and productive.

  I have done this with meetings I have attended.  One meeting where we were going to be working on a difficult situation–I suggested we start the meeting with telling jokes and goofing around.  Everyone was game to do this and we had a lot of fun for about 10 minutes then we shifted into the issue we were trying to resolve.  Much to everyone’s surprise, we resolved the issue quickly and easily because we were in a more relaxed creative state because of the fun we had at the start of the meeting.

If you make fun a priority in your life you will be more productive with your time.  One way to understand this is using the analogy of having a child inside of you.  If you just work all of the time–the child inside of you begins to get frustrated because of the lack of fun–and begins to rebel.  This rebellion shows up in your life as procrastination, low energy, lack of focus—it is like a drag on your energy.  It is like the child says–”If you don’t listen to me, I’m not going to cooperate with the things your trying to get done.” Integrating fun into your days satisfies this child inside of you and then it cooperates with the other things you want to get done.

Even though you are taking time to have fun—you actually don’t lose any time because the time you do work is very productive.  I have seen this work over and over again with clients—the more fun they have, the more they get done.  Try it and see for yourself!

3. Let Go of False Beliefs  About Fun- What kind of beliefs do you have about about having fun?  List these beliefs on a piece of paper.  They could be “It’s irresponsible to have too much fun.”  “Fun is just for kids, not for adults.” “I’ll look stupid if I’m having fun” “I don’t have enough time to have fun.” “Having fun is a waste of time, it’s frivolous.”  Examine these messages and decide if you want to continue to hold these beliefs. These false beliefs can be holding you back from a world of fun. 

Write new messages about fun that you want to embrace-i.e. “Having fun helps me to be more creative and productive in my whole life.”  “Fun feels good and I deserve to feel good.” “Fun brings me closer to those around me.” “Fun leads to great things happening in my life.” Embracing these new beliefs will open the doorway for more Fun in your life.

4. Be a Fun Initiator in Your Life-Think of ways that you can bring more fun to yourself and others throughout the day.  When you are in conversation with people use humor and lightness to create fun rather than letting the conversation slip into negativity.  Many people are in the habit of connecting with one another through discussing problems and gossiping.  Just notice if you are in this habit by monitoring what you tend to focus on in your conversations with others. See if you can allow yourself to connect with others with fun and joy.  When others ask you how you are doing say “I am having so much fun in my life, I am so happy!”

Think of fun activities that you can do with your friends and family—have a theme party that has a silly theme or designate a day to celebrate something fun.  I heard from some friends that there was a day a few months ago that was “Talk like a Pirate Day” and they were having fun planning a party on that day.  Be willing to take risks and try new things.

Re-connect with that fun-machine inside of you that is just waiting to have more fun than you have been having.  Click into what you knew innately as a baby and a child—that having fun is a big part of what we are here for. So don’t waste another minute and —-go have some fun!

I would love to hear what you have been doing for fun lately–post it in the comments section below.

                                                                        

When I begin working with clients oftentimes they are very unaware of how they are talking to themselves.  There are certain exercises we do to begin to bring this inner dialogue to the surface so they can begin to work with it more consciously.   Once we make this dialogue “visible,” they so often will say “No wonder I feel so anxious” or “No wonder I feel so depressed”.  This is the first step to making profound changes that will tremendously impact their life. 

Sometimes people are walking around with an inner part of them being incredibly critical and hard on themselves — picking at themselves for every little thing.  This criticalness and pressure is very draining and will put a lid on their joy and freedom of expressing who they truly are.  Sometimes this is modeled after a parent that was very critical with them and sometimes it is something that they developed on their own.  Either way, the good news is that they can transform this inner dialogue to one that is more loving and supportive.

One of the methods of shifting this dynamic is to understand the function of the criticalness.  If you can, think of the part of you that is critical and understand that it has some good reasons for being critical–it actually is trying to help you.  The logic it has for “helping” you is somewhat distorted, but it makes sense to this part of you.  The more you understand the “why” than you can work with it more consciously. 

If you know you have a critical part of you, dialogue with it in writing.  Ask it, “Why are you being so critical?  How are you trying to help me?”  Once you get the answer you can respond to this part of you and find a way to address the things it is trying to help you with in a way other than the criticalness.  Here is an example:

This voice surprised her because she had moved forward so much because she had worked hard to develop a supportive inner voice and now her critic was bigger than it had ever been.  This was confusing to her and when she listened to her critic, she became very disheartened and depressed.  She knew that there must be a good reason this part of her was so strong now–and she felt it may be connected to how much progress she had made.  She dialogued with this part of her, asking why it was so critical of her and how it was trying to help her. 

 What are the ways that your inner critic manifests for you?  How do you deal with it now?  I would love to hear your comments–please comment below.

The more you worry and get stressed–the more you block the subtle answers that are trying to come through from your intuition.  So give yourself permission to relax and let go—trusting that the answers you are chasing will be able to come to you–and you will be able to hear them in the quiet.

3. Doing nothing with others helps you to connect more deeply with them.  A story that I read years ago that really stuck with me was about a family in New York City that regularly had “do nothing” weekends.  They all would stay in their pajamas for the weekend and just hang out together.  They would talk a lot, do skits for one another and make up games.  They limited the outside activities that their kids were involved in to protect the time that they had to be together.  So often we are so busy with outside activities that we become strangers to the people we are closest to.

Having big chunks of time together can create safety for more vulnerable information to be shared.  This is what happened this past weekend with my sisters. What we shared on day 3 of being together was deeper, more vulnerable information then the first initial sharing during day 1.  

4. Doing nothing can help you get more done!  The analogy I use is that it is like we have a kid inside of us that needs rest and play.  If we just are busy and don’t stop to rest and play this little kid gets very cranky and starts to cause some problems.  These problems look like procrastination, forgetfullness, working slower etc.  If we do take the time to rest and play the kid inside of us is happy.  Then when we start to work again it will be very cooperative with what we want to get done and things will go smoother.

Ideas to add doing Nothing to Your Schedule
1. Have “do nothing” breaks during the day.  Go outside and lay on the grass for 10 minutes and look at the sky.  If you are in your office shut off your computer, take off your shoes and close your eyes for 10 minutes and do nothing.

2. Take a nap.  If you have never taken a nap–give it a try. It’s OK if you don’t sleep, just resting with your eyes closed can be very relaxing.  Try taking a nap in a hammock.  There is something about being outside and gently swinging that is very soothing and peaceful.

3. Go to a coffee shop where you don’t know anybody and hang out.  I am writing this article at a coffee shop and there is a woman sitting alone reading a book and another woman alone working on the computer.  Go somewhere where there are no distractions, so you can focus on whatever you would like to –reading a good book, journaling or just relaxing and being.  Check out all of the coffee shops in your area and find a special place that feels relaxing to you.

4. Go on a Retreat.  A wonderful way to do nothing and connect more deeply with yourself is to go on a retreat.  You can find a place that is a short drive away from you that you can go to for the day or for the weekend.  A place locally that some of my friends have gone to is “The Bridge Between” which is just outside of Green Bay.  You can plan a retreat in your own home too.  Plan a time when no one will be there and eliminate distractions–turn off the phone, the computer etc.  Block out a designated time as your “retreat” time–you could do a half of a day or a whole day.

5. Find a place in your house that you designate as your “do nothing” place.  This is a place that you can go for peace and quiet when you need it.  Eliminate distractions and also let the people in your home know that when you are in this place that you are to not be interrupted.

6. If things are really busy for you and you feel like you don’t have any time—take a 5 minute break to do nothing.  You would be surprised at how even a small amount of time like 5 minutes can make a big difference in helping you relax.  You can focus on your breath and make sure you are breathing deeply.  When we are busy we often  hold our breath–so taking this break and breathing fully can relax you and help your body release tension.

7. Designate one day a week to take off.  Have one day a week where you aren’t doing any work–no errands, no work around the house etc.  Just a day to be and do as you please.  When you have a full day off you can really get into a relaxed state and enjoy the full benefit of this.   Then when you go back to work you will feel energized, more focused and you will be more productive.

Give yourself the gift of putting more time in your schedule just to “do nothing” and watch your life become more peaceful, productive and rich with a deeper connection with yourself and others!

What are your favorite things to do–to do nothing?

Please share these below.