July 19th, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
What Do You Really Want?
“Is that what you really want, or did nobody ask you? Is that what you really think or did nobody care? Is that who are you really are or did nobody notice? Is that what you really want or did nobody dare? Are these your most precious dreams, or did you leave them behind you, when you were a young one just to get through?” Lyrics from “Is That What You Really Want?” by Libby Roderick
What are your deepest, most precious dreams? Are they so buried that you have forgotten what they are? Or do they see the light of day but get buried again? Do you begin to pursue your dreams but negative thinking stalls the movement or you get sidetracked by other things?
We all have important dreams and when we pursue these dreams we are filled with passion and excitement. When we lose track of these dreams and follow the well trodden path of “what you are supposed to do” there is a deadening of our spirits. When I travel I like to be the last one on the airplane so I can see everyone when I walk on the plane. What I notice when I look at all of the faces as I’m walking through is that there is a lackluster, autopilot, flat energy that three-quarters of the people on the plane usually have—what I look for are the alive, passionate ones—they are like light bulbs beaming up from their seats—when I see them I breathe a sigh of relief and gratitude. “Yes,” I think to myself, “There is hope”. I think that because our individual energy affects the collective energy. Those “light bulb” people add positive, uplifting energy to the collective energy on the airplane. The more “light bulb” people on the planet, the higher the positive vibration of the collective energy. If I would sit down and interview the light bulb people on the plane they would be the ones pursuing or living their deepest dreams and passions. Is your light and passion hiding deep within you—or are you letting it shine and be free?
I work as a psychotherapist and I see my role as supporting my client’s light and passion to shine. I utilize breathwork and a psychospiritual process called Inner Bonding. In Inner Bonding we talk about the core essence—which is that bright shining light that you came into the world to be—it is your special creativity, your gifts, your unique intelligence, your caring, lovingness and compassion. If your parents were not connected to their own unique essence and living from their essence, they could not see or support this in you. They couldn’t see you clearly because they weren’t able to see themselves clearly. In response to this most people develop what Inner Bonding refers to as wounded adult child parts to handle the environment with their disconnected parents. The core essence than goes in hiding because of lack of support and the wounded adult child parts take over.
The wounded adult child parts absorb the fears and false beliefs that the parents have. Some of the false beliefs are: 1. I’m unworthy just as I am—I have to be perfect to be loved 2. My worth is dependent on my performance—if I perform well I’m O.K. if I don’t I’m not O.K. 3. I have to be what others want me to be to get love 4. If other people are unhappy or upset it’s my fault and I have to do something to make them feel better. As you can see these false beliefs lead one to be very outwardly focused—defining one’s worth through what other people think. When our focus is more on what OTHERS think we lose connection with what WE really think and who we really are (which is our core essence). This covering over of one’s core essence is exactly related to the disconnection with one’s dreams and passions. Our core essence contains our true dreams and passions—our special purpose for being on the planet. The process of Inner Bonding involves developing an Inner Loving Adult who can heal the false beliefs of the wounded adult-child and allow the true self, the core essence to come forward.
An Inner Loving Adult is essential in being able to fully allow the core essence to be expressed. Most people don’t have a loving adult operating within themselves on a consistent basis; they are mostly operating out of wounded adult aspects of themselves.
That is what is happening with the three-quarters of the people on the airplane with the flat energy—there is no loving adult taking action on the passions of the core essence—they are only operating from the fears of the wounded adult child. The light-bulbs—the alive and passionate people– on the other hand are able to be the loving adult and tune into the voice of their core essence –and take action.
An example: Let’s say you knew your core essence wanted to dance to express itself creatively—if the wounded adult child was in charge the inner dialogue would sound like this: “You can’t dance—You know how uncoordinated you are—You will make a fool out of yourself—What will people think!” If there was an Inner Loving Adult the dialogue would sound like this: “I will fully support you to dance because I know how much you want to do this—Let’s just go and express ourselves and have fun—it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks—I will be there to talk lovingly to you as you try new things-it’s O.K. to make mistakes, that’s part of learning!” As you read the different dialogues can you feel the difference in your body? The first dialogue is harsh and critical and stops any creative energy—whereas the second dialogue is loving and accepting—supporting this creative energy to be expressed. You can see if the wounded adult child is in charge that many of the dreams and passions are not going to get very far with this kind of critical inner dialogue.
I suggest to people that their job as the Loving Adult is to really tune into their core essence—tune into what they really want in this deepest part of them—and than to not lose sight of this—this is their deepest truth. Their job is to take action on these deepest dreams and desires. What is important is that you pursue these dreams not that you succeed at them. What do you mean—you ask? The wounded adult child self is concerned with outcome, performance, success/failure—because these are the ways to seek validation of the self. The Loving Adult supports pursuing a dream as a way to express the self –for the joy of expressing—not for a particular outcome. The Loving Adult sees the beauty of the core essence and does not need others to see or validate it.
An example: When I was a child I loved to play out scenes from movies with my friends. I would be the director and have them act out different scenes that I was seeing in my mind. I loved this and it felt very natural for me. It was my core essence expressing itself through the creation of movie scenes. My loving action as a loving adult is to pursue this passion in some form to continue this expression that I was so connected to as a child. If my wounded self gets focused on outcomes it may say something like, “Do you know how hard it is to make films and to get into this field—What are you thinking?” But if I pursue this from my loving adult the outcome is irrelevant—it is the joy of doing what I once loved again that is important.
The Loving Adult stays focused on the dreams of the core self and does get sidetracked by the fears and false beliefs of the wounded adult child. Another example: I have a client who is very clear that her essence would love to move to a warm climate. She was taking steps to move towards this dream last winter (being a loving adult) but when spring/summer came along she began to enjoy the warm weather and stopped her planning for her move. When I saw her in early fall she said, “I don’t think we are going to move. We are going to buy a house and do some other things I’m excited about.” When we discussed what was happening it became clear that her wounded adult child was very fearful about moving and taking the risk of following her dream—so it came up with another plan which is what I call a “pacifier plan”. A “pacifier plan” is substituting something good, but safe, in place of the real dream, the real deal. She was able to see this and attend to the fears of the wounded self directly and make plans to reassure/calm her fears so she can stay on track with following her true dream, which is to move to a warm climate.
What are the dreams of your core essence, your true self? Make a list of your dreams and passions. It could be dreams you had as a child or dreams you have as an adult. If you could live your life in any way you would like, how would you be living it? Would you be living somewhere different? Would you be working part-time or in a different job altogether? Take time to unearth your deepest dreams. One of the biggest obstacles to uncovering dreams is being too busy. We need time to reflect and allow the true core essence to emerge. A friend of mine who worked 60-70 hours a week since graduating from college 18 years ago made a conscious decision to take a significant pay cut to work the standard 40 hours. After 6 months of being on his lighter schedule he said to me “I feel like I’m coming alive again—the last 18 years is a blur.” Family members and friends started to notice his old self re-emerging. It had been so long they had forgotten the playful, lighthearted guy they used to know. Ask your friends what your dreams are. Sound strange? What I have noticed is sometimes people’s core essence will come out and reveal their true dream to a friend or family member and then it goes underground and the person forgets they even said it! In this moment ask yourself what you really want. Close your eyes and tune into your body and see what pops into your head. This may be your first step to opening up to more of your aliveness and passion. We need more alive, passionate shining Light Bulbs. Won’t you let your light shine!
July 14th, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
“An Inspired Life Can’t be Planned”
“I love to laugh, it keeps my soul alive.” ~ Mark, River Falls, WI
We are Spirits housed in human bodies. There are things that fuel our bodies and things that fuel our Spirit. If you neglect feeding your Spirit –you will feel drained and like you are a robot going through life. Being inspired is a powerful way of nourishing and uplifting your Spirit. What inspires you? How often are you around the things and people that inspire you? Just reflecting on what inspires you and making sure you are surrounding yourself with these things will lift your Spirit and energize you.
Tips To Get Yourself Inspired
1. Who are the people in your life that inspire you? What about them inspires you? This is a quality that you value and more than likely possess yourself but maybe you aren’t expressing in your life. Use this to open up more to this quality in your own life. Make sure the people you have in your life inspire you.
2. What music inspires you? What about the music uplifts you—is it the voice of the singer—the words–the rhythm? Do you like music that you can dance to or music that is calm and soothing.
3. What things visually inspire you? Is it certain things in nature—the ocean, mountains, trees? Is it certain colors? Is is certain architecture of buildings?
4. Which restaurants inspire you? What food do you love? What decor do you find appealing? Do you make sure to go to restaurants that inspire you. I love going to Cafe’ Mario’s because I love how they have decorated it, the music they play (Andrea Bocelli–my favorite:), the smells of the food, the laughter and connection that happens there.
5. What books do you find inspirational? What words uplift you? What authors inspire you?
6. What creative activity inspires you? Dancing, painting, playing music, singing, making jewelry.
7. Do you inspire yourself? Are you daring to live your dreams, express your creativity–living with passion? Are you committed to a vibrant, inspired life? Like the quote above–an inspired life can’t be planned. Are you willing to let go and allow yourself to be inspired—and more importantly to act on these inspirational impulses?
8. What geographic areas inspire you? Does your Spirit lift just thinking about Italy, Hawaii, Alaska or the California coast? Make a plan to travel to the areas that inspire you. There is a reason you are drawn to that area—it is a place that will feed your soul. If you can’t travel there just yet, put up pictures of that area that you can see every day.
9. What movies inspire you? Look for movies that inspire you—don’t settle for anything less than that .
For those of you who have read the “What Do You Really Want Workbook”, I mentioned one of my favorite inspirational movies, “Miss Potter”, about the amazing life of Beatrice Potter (the artist who created Peter Rabbit).
10. Talk to your friends and family about what inspires them—you will deepen your connection with them from having this discussion. Ask them “What inspires you?”
11. Surround yourself with things that inspire you. When you look around your home—are you inspired? Put up pictures that uplift you–buy art work that inspires you. Buy flowers that you love.
Open up to feeding your Spirit with all the the things that inspire you—and watch your energy level soar and your life expand into grand new possibilities!
I would love to hear what Inspires YOU. Please share this below (in the comments section).
July 12th, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
What I have noticed in working with clients over the years is that many people have difficulty holding their own in a relationship. What I mean by this is taking 100 % responsibility for their happiness and holding true to the highest vision for their life and relationships. People can have sense when their partner is on a different path and maybe doesn’t have the same type of dedication to growth that they have. In response to this–they may do a variety of things to deal with this. The most common thing can be to start holding themselves back from their own growth. They sense that if they keep growing that they will “grow” out of the relationship. So they make a decision that they are willing to hold themselves back, rather than lose the relationship. They ended up bringing themselves down.
When I work with a client who is doing this–I have them look at the consequence of doing this. Typically they start to struggle with depression and or anxiety. It takes a lot to hold their own energy back–and typically they will start to feel very drained from this. The origin of doing this can come from their childhood. In order to get their parents’ approval they had to be more of who their parents wanted them to be–rather than who they truly are. They actually are used to holding themselves back in a relationship because they started doing this at a young age. The belief underlying this pattern is “I can’t be all that I came here to be and be loved too–I have to hold myself back to keep my relationships.”
I encourage them to love themselves for who they truly are—and commit to allowing themselves to be all that they came here to be. They will not really know the truth of their relationship until they do this. I have seen the other partner in this kind of relationship “rise up” and start to grow as well when their partner holds their ground in their own growth. They will never know if this is a possibility until they do this. If they do embrace themselves fully and not hold themselves back—move forward in their lives—and their partner continues to stay stuck for a period of time–they will know that they did everything they could to give the relationship a chance. They can walk away with peace—opening up to a healthier connection with someone with a similar commitment to growth.
July 7th, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
When we have dreams there is a waiting period between having the dream in our mind and it coming into physical form. For some dreams this waiting period is very short—we have the dream and soon after the dream comes to pass. For many dreams there is some longer waiting period—a gestational period where we are preparing on the inner level to receive the dream and things are being prepared on the unseen level to manifest this dream as well. Also during this gestational period we may be taking physical actions to move us towards the dream.
What do you do during this waiting period? Do you stay positive and expectant this dream will manifest—or do you move into worry and fear? What we do during this waiting period is important. We can cause needless suffering if we move into worry and fear. To help yourself not move into worry and fear–it is important to embrace a feeling of faith and trust. Faith is having trust that the dream in your head will manifest in the physical world. It is having trust in the unseen process of manifestation that is taking place during this waiting period. Look for signs that you are on track. You may meet someone who has already manifested the dream you are wanting—this is a way that you are being shown that this dream is possible. Use this as reassurance that it will happen for you too. Don’t use it in a negative way where you say “That happened for them—it will never happen for me”. You may also get signs in a real literal way. This just happened to me yesterday. I had a few moments of doubt about a dream that I am manifesting and just as I thought those thoughts I saw a sign for a store called “Dreams Come True”. Now I have driven on this road 100′s of times and I had never seen this sign for this store before until yesterday! This has happened to me before during times I really needed the support—and it is so reassuring and magical.
If you are in a waiting period for your dream stay in a state of faith and trust. Look for signs and markers along the way that signal that you are on track–you just need to be patient. I would love to hear of some of the signs you have had as you moved towards your dream.
July 5th, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
Practicing letting go of the outcome can be one of the most powerful things you can do to bring more lightness and peace into your life. When we try to to control the outcome of things it takes so much energy and it ends up stopping the natural flow of things. The core issue why people don’t let go of the outcome is that they don’t trust that the Universe is truly on their side—and not working against them–but for them. What if you really got that there is an incredible amount of support around you each and every moment—wanting you to succeed and flourish? The very thing you want—the Universe wants this for you as well and is supporting this unfolding. By letting go and trusting that what will unfold will be better than anything you could have imagined or tried to force into place.
Set your intention for what you want–take action on what feels right to do—and then let go and trust the unfolding of the manifestation of your dreams.
June 30th, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
I am a member of a networking group and it has been interesting to watch the different members reactions to what is happening in the economy. Some of the members who are in the same industry are having different reactions—thus are having different results. Some people are attributing the slowness in their business to what they hear in the media–that we are going into a recession and people just “aren’t buying”. Then other people in the same industry make no mention of a slow down in the economy and are busier than ever. One guy has been so busy he hasn’t been able to attend out meetings! I went up to him after the last meeting and we talked about this—he said “I don’t focus on what is being said–I just kicked it into high gear and pursued these projects and things are going great–I am busier than ever!”
I have noticed too with my newer clients–many of them are mentioning the economy and their fears about how this will affect them. The clients I have been seeing for awhile—make no mention of this at all. They keep their focus on the positive–take action in their lives to move their business and lives in a positive direction. The phrase “What you think about expands” is a factor here. The clients I have worked with for awhile learn that their own thoughts and actions lead to the results in their lives. If someone is in fear and believes that external circumstances determine what is going to happen in their lives—their results will reflect this. They will not take action and be immobilized—they will then create the very think they fear. Going to my example above—the people that felt the economy was slowing down and “people weren’t buying”—stopped marketing their business because they felt “they won’t buy anyway”. The person with the booming business didn’t stop pursuing business and started marketing even more–that is where he channeled his energy–his results were dramatically different.
Notice in your life how you are creating your own reality by the thoughts you hold—whether positive or negative—then these thoughts impact the kind of action you do or do not take. Make the connection and really get that you are more in charge of what happens in your life than you may think right now.
June 28th, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
What is your relationship like with money? Do you have a lot of stress about not having enough? Do you feel you never get ahead financially? Do money issues prevent you from pursuing your dreams? Do you feel stuck in patterns that keep happening over and over again in your financial life?
What happens in your financial life is determined by your money blueprint. Your money blueprint is your conscious and unconscious beliefs about money. These are beliefs that you have inherited from your family, the culture and beliefs you determined from your own experiences with money. If these beliefs are positive and expansive—you will experience abundance and ease in your financial life. If these beliefs are negative and limiting—you will experience scarcity, fear and frustration in your financial life.
Examples of limiting beliefs about money are: “I don’t deserve to have abundance” “Money is the root of all evil” “I don’t have what it takes to earn more money” “People with a lot of money are materialistic” “You have to work really hard to have a lot of money” “If I have a lot of money other people won’t like me or be jealous of me””Other people are stopping me from having more money”.
Examples of positive, expansive beliefs about money are: “I deserve abundance in my life” “Working with money is easy” “I can bring in more money and still have balance in my life” “I will be an inspiration and role model of abundance for those around me” “I have everything I need to bring more abundance into my life right now.”
The challenge is that many of the beliefs that you have about money are unconscious—meaning you are consciously unaware of what these beliefs are.This can be frustrating because if you are unaware of these beliefs—you can’t change them– and they will continue to keep you stuck and unable to get to where you want. Here are some exercises that you can do to flush these unconscious beliefs to the surface so you can deal with them directly.
Exercises to Uncover your beliefs about Money:
1. Write down the word “Money” on a blank piece of paper. Write down all of your associations with the word money. Anything that pops into your mind. Look at the words that you wrote down –are they positive or negative—or a mix of both? Can you see from this exercise some of your negative associations with money. Now write down the words that you want to associate with money—examples could be : fun, ease, joy, giving, freedom. Write and affirmation with this word “Money is fun” “Working with money is easy” “Money is good and I deserve to have it”.
2.What beliefs to you have about people who have a lot of Money?- Write these beliefs down. These beliefs give you a lot of information about your own beliefs about money. Example—“People with a lot of money did something dishonest to get it” This indicates that you believe that in order to get more money you will have to be dishonest—and of course you don’t want to do that —so you block yourself from having more money. Or you might cap off how much money is acceptable for you to have before you fall into what you perceive as the category of “People with a lot of money.” Or your belief could be that “People with a lot of money use people and take advantage of them to get money.” Or “People with a lot of money are stuck up or superficial”.
Any negative association or judgment about people with a lot of money ends up sabotaging your capacity to bring in abundance—because you believe you will be perceived this way if you have a lot of money. There is a whole range of people who have a lot of money—some are kind and generous—and some may be unkind and greedy. The reality is that you get to decide what kind of person you will be with your abundance. Shift your belief by focusing on the people who do wonderful things with their abundance. The more you embrace positive associations with people with money—the easier you can move into bringing in more abundance yourself. And then know that you can have a positive impact on the world by the way that you channel your wealth and abundance.
3.Write out your financial biography- Each of us has a financial biography—a history of how money has been viewed and handled in our family’s history and in our own lives. It is important to think about this because it will give you clues to your unconscious beliefs. An example of part of my financial biography is that my Mother’s father (my grandfather) grew up very poor—his parents were emigrants from Croatia and his father died when he was 9 years old. When he died it was also during the Great Depression so it was a very difficult time for his Mother and 3 siblings. All of the kids started to work to bring in money—by grandfather was good at this and developed this skill and became a young entrepreneur. He later went on to build a hotel and bought a bar. He was very frugal with his money and I recall him noting each time we ate how much he paid for each item.
What are the beliefs about money that I inherited from this story? Some of them are positive beliefs and some are limiting. The positive beliefs are “No matter what the financial challenge, there is always a creative way to bring money in” one of the limiting beliefs is “I have to work non-stop to bring money in, I can’t take time to enjoy the fruits of my labor”. This limiting belief comes from a time period when there was a lot of challenges in my grandfathers life around money—and he did have to work quite a bit. But now is a different situation and I can embrace a more positive belief which is “I work and also allow money to flow to me—when I take time to relax I open myself to even more abundance.” The fears about money from an earlier time can echo down through the generations and fuel an unconscious fear in you today. Notice which of your limiting beliefs come from a painful time in your family history—and that you still may operate from it—even though that event is over and not happening in your life. The more you can operate from beliefs of faith and trust rather than fear and scarcity—the easier it will be for you.
The important thing to remember is that whatever we believe acts as true. Look at the financial beliefs that you have inherited from your family and carefully choose the beliefs that you want to operate your life from. Question—is this belief coming from fear or trust? If is coming from fear—it is going to limit your capacity for abundance. If it is coming from trust—it will expand your capacity to bring in abundance.
4.Write down your families beliefs about money- After doing the financial biography you can begin to write out the financial beliefs operating in your family. Write down how much you adhere to this belief in your own life. Or you may have rebelled against a belief and went to the exact opposite. An example of this is if your family was very frugal and did it in a way that was very fear based and restrictive—you may rebel by overspending. Their belief may have been “The priority is to save money and not have fun—saving for the future is the priority” and you may go the opposite and say “Money is to spend now—I don’t have to worry about the future.” Both beliefs are limiting. The reality is that there can be a balance of saving for the future and having fun in the present. The underlying limiting belief in both of these statements is that you can’t do both at the same time—have money AND fun. Look at the beliefs you have inherited and decide which ones you want to keep and which ones you want to replace. Write out an affirmation to replace the limiting belief. For the beliefs listed above it could be “I am able to balance saving money and having fun in my life-they both are important.”
5.Notice the problems you have in your life around money—What are the reoccurring themes and patterns you have about money? Is it that you are able to save a certain amount of money, but then some emergency happens that depletes your money and your back to square one? Is it that you run out of money and then have to borrow from others? Do you have people who always borrow from you? Are you stuck in earning the same amount of money you have earned for years?
Your outer world reflects your inner beliefs—so you can look to your outer world to see your beliefs. What beliefs would someone have to create this experience? If the theme is just when you get ahead financially some external circumstance brings you down—you have a self-sabotage pattern going on. What are the beliefs supporting this? Is it “I don’t deserve to have abundance” or “I am only allowed to succeed this much—I can’t go beyond this” “It is not OK to be make more money than my parents did” “I feel guilty if my life goes well when other family members are struggling so much.” It is important to get to the core of the beliefs that are fueling reoccurring patterns in your life. These beliefs are causing needless suffering in your life. This exercise is great to do with a friend or a therapist—they can give you feedback on a pattern that you may be so close to that you aren’t able to see how your own beliefs are creating it.
As you uncover and shift your beliefs about money your outer experiences will begin to change.Here are some other things you can do to bring in more abundance.
Tips to bring in Abundance
1. Give Yourself a Raise- Determine how much money you would like to make this year above and beyond what you already make. Pick a number that feels like a stretch, yet somewhat realistic. Now brainstorm ways that you could bring in this extra money and list these out. This is on the practical level. Now shift gears and open up to the universal flow of abundance—consciously open up to receiving money in ways that you never dreamed possible. Money can come to you in so many different ways—just open up to receiving it. One of the more magical ways I have heard of money coming to someone is when she was driving in the country money started blowing all around her car. So she stopped to gather it up—it was like to appeared out of nowhere! To open up to this you can use the affirmation “Money comes to me in magical and unexpected ways.” Combine doing things on the practical level to bring money in and also stay to open money flowing to you in these unexpected ways as well. This is an important technique to use in our current climate of fear around money. Instead of moving into fear and becoming immobilized—move into faith and action. What can I do to bring money in now matter what is happening externally? Focus on bringing it in both practically and magically.
2.Declutter your home- If you think of money as energy it will flow more easily to you if you are open and unblocked. We can “block” ourselves in a variety of ways—one is with our own negative thinking which I addressed earlier in this article. Another way we can block ourselves is by hanging on to clutter. Clutter can literally block the energy in our home and in us—stopping the flow of abundance that wants to come to us. Hanging on to clutter is based on fears about scarcity—“if I let go of this I am afraid I may need it someday.” This is an inherent lack of trust in the abundant flow of the Universe bringing to you what you need when you need it. It again is operating from fear rather than trust. I had a client who decluttered her basement and a week later she received a check out of the blue for $10,000! Delutter and open up to the flow of abundance that wants to come to you.
3.Treat what you do have with Care- How do you handle your current finances? Are you mindful and wise with how you spend your money now? Keep monthly totals of what you bring in and what you spend. Know what your net worth is every month. Is your spending in alignment with your highest priorities? Do you have debt that you need to address? Develop a repayment plan for your debt and put it into your budget—and then take action to bring in more abundance. Focus more on ways to bring money in than spending time in worry and fear over the debt. Do you overspend? Look at what this is about for you. Do you overspend to fill up an inner emptiness, does it give you a “high”, or do you feel a sense of power. Address these deeper issues with a therapist so you can release this pattern. Do you have a financial plan for your future? If not make an appointment with a financial planner. Ask your friends if they have a recommendation of who to work with. Make sure you are handling what you do have with care. List ways you could handle your current money better. You will not be able to bring in more abundance if you are mismanaging the money that you currently have.
4.Improve Your Self-Worth- The better you feel about yourself, the more money you will bring in. This works on three levels—one if you are confident about who you are—you are a magnet for people and opportunities. Good things will be drawn to you. People will want to work with you and be around you. Second—if you feel good about yourself you will be more likely to see the value of the work you do and expect to be paid accordingly. You will be able to more confidently go to your boss and ask for a raise because you really believe in the value of what you do. Or if you have your own business and value what you do—others will value it too and will want to do business with you. List out the value of the work that you do—all that you bring to your job or business. If you get stuck with this—brainstorm with a co-worker or trusted friend.
The third and more important way that self-worth affects the money that we bring in is that low self-worth makes you feel that you don’t deserve abundance—that you’re not worthy of having it. If you don’t feel worthy of abundance you will unconsciously block it from coming in to begin with—or it will come in but something will happen for you to lose it. If this is the pattern for you look at this deeper belief of not feeling deserving and shift it to “I do deserve abundance, I am worthy of tremendous abundance.” For tips to increase your self-worth read my article, http://www.radiantlifecounseling.com/articles/i-am-fabulous.htm
5. Examine What You Think More Money will Give You- If you had all of the money you wanted to have—what do you think that would bring you—peace, freedom, time, joy, happiness, love—you could spend time doing things you love to do? Look at making changes in your life to bring those things into your life NOW. What could you do to feel more Joy in your life now? Sometimes people can chase after the idea of more money as a panacea for the things that they could actually have in their lives this very moment. The more you open up to creating what you want now—you will lift your vibration and you will naturally draw more financial abundance to you as well.
6. Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow- This is one of my favorite phrases—it is from a book that was published years ago. As you align yourself with your life’s purpose—follow what you love—the money will come to you. Set your intention that you can do what you love and make money. Here is a good quote “Often people attempt to live their lives backward; they try to have more things, or more money in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.” Margaret Young.
7. Feel the abundance you currently have in your life—your home, your health, the people you love and feel the deep appreciation for all of your blessings. This deep appreciation will fill your heart and will give you the deep satisfaction that you are yearning for. While it is wonderful to reach for more abundance and to bring more money in –it is important to always rest in the appreciation of what you have now. This appreciation is one of the biggest magnets for money and will insure your path to even greater abundance will be a joyful one.
Wishing you fun and joy as you transform your relationship with money and open up to the incredible abundance you deserve!
June 23rd, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
The conditioned part of us is addicted to negative thinking. When I work with clients who are transitioning from their Conditioned self to moving into their Authentic self—it can be similar to breaking a severe addiction. Negative thoughts will pull them back into their conditioned, false self in a blink of an eye. One of the keys to change is to first identify when you are in your Conditioned self and when you are in your Authentic Self. You can tell this in two ways–one is the tone of the thoughts–the thoughts of the Conditioned self are negative and limiting—and then also to how you feel when you are having the thoughts–when you are having thoughts from your conditioned self you will feel depressed, hopeless, bad about yourself, anxious etc.
In contrast, when you are having thoughts from your Authentic Self they will be positive and expansive thoughts which will lead to you feeling light, hopeful, excited and happy. So a good first step is just moment by moment asking yourself–”Am I in my Conditioned self of Authentic self?” The next step then is to decide for example– if you are in your Conditioned self –if you are going to continue that thought or your current thinking. It is a choice–although at the beginning it will feel like those thoughts are in charge of you! Getting back to how this is like an addiction–breaking the habit of these thoughts can be like going through withdrawal. I will illustrate that with this example;
Jane had been making a lot of progress in living from her Authentic Self. She was taking loving actions every day to take care of herself, she had very loving relationships and she was doing work that she loved—essentially she was living the life of her dreams. Yet she found she would scan the horizon looking for something “not right”. Once she found the thing she perceived as “not right” she would focus on it until she felt unhappy and anxious.
In her session we discussed how this pattern was shifting her into her conditioned self and then blocking her from really enjoying how wonderful her life was. I shared with her that the conditioned self “feeds” off of negativity and if there is none obviously there–it will find something and expand it so it feels big. She felt relieved when we discussed this because she would feel so happy and joyful about herself and her life—and then she would have these periods of feeling “down” that didn’t make sense to her. Once we uncovered what was creating that she was able to see this pull towards negativity as her conditioned self trying to “feed” off of negativity. She was able to tell herself that she didn’t need to go there and it was OK to enjoy and appreciate the beautiful life she had created–and to sustain this feeling.
Even if your life isn’t exactly as you would like it right now you can still view it from your Authentic Self. If you view it from your Authentic Self you would appreciate the wonderful things you do have in your life now–even as you move forward to make the changes you would like. You can trust that you are moving in a positive direction and you will get to where you want—and most importantly you will appreciate every step of the way! Staying in your Authentic Self will allow the process to be easier and also to go faster.
What are you feeding today—the thoughts of your Conditioned Self or the positive, uplifting thoughts of your Authentic Self?
June 21st, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
Do hear the voice of your intuition–or is it crowded out by all of the other thoughts you have in your head? Or do you hear the voice of your intuition but don’t follow it? Our intuition is our built in navigational system. It is designed to help us make decisions that will enable us to create an amazing, joyful life. Many people have gotten so used to ignoring the soft, gentle nudgings of their intuition and instead make decisions based on the thoughts in their head—what they think they “should” do. What has your intuition been telling you to do lately? See if you can tune into this and write it down. It might be a new message or something you have been hearing for a few years.
Some of the resistance we have is that if we act on our intuition we would transform our lives and some things may need to change that we may not have the courage to change. See if this is the case for you. Ask yourself—”What fear do I have if I would fully follow my intuition?” Are you willing to face this fear and make a decision to act on it despite these fears? You may want to connect with a friend and see if you can support each other with this. Talk about what your intuition has been telling you and what actions you need to take—and then support each other to follow through on this.
What is your intuition telling you today? Develop a plan to take action to do what it is telling you to do and watch your life dramatically transform!
June 16th, 2011, by Shelley Riutta
When you are pursuing and living your dreams you will be at a higher more vibrant vibration. This higher vibration makes it easier for you to get insights that will help manifest your dream as well as draw events and people to you that can help you as well. This in turn is inspiring and uplifting to you—keeping your vibration high–bringing more of the same to you. There is never an end to how high our vibration can go.
Think about the people you know that are leading inspiring lives–doesn’t if feel great to be around them? They are operating at a high frequency that feels good to them and those around them. Operating at this level is what your Spirit would love to do. It doesn’t like being small and being held back by fear. I believe depression can be a reaction of one’s Spirit to being held back by limiting beliefs and actions. The Spirit in you is trying to expand and be all that it came here to be—to live large.
Begin today to release all that has kept you living small—make a commitment to follow the expansive dreams of your Spirit and live LARGE!
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