Listen to Your Intuition

September 27th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out.”  Michael Burke
When is the last time you had an intuition, a knowing about something?  What did you do with that knowing–did you listen to it–even though it may have gone against the thoughts of your logical mind?  Or did you push it aside and ignore it?
Your life will go much smoother and easier if you allow your decisions to be guided by the wisdom of your intuition.  So often when I meet with clients the voice of their intuition has been stifled for years by the chatter in their mind.  And the more their intuition is stifled–they end of making decisions based on the fears and false beliefs of their mind.  These decisions will not lead to the happiness and fulfillment they are seeking.
If you have lost your connection with your intuition–you will feel lost in life.  Your intuition is  your built in navigational system designed to guide you on your true path.  If this has happened how do you reconnect?
Here are some tips to be able to hear the voice of your intuition more clearly.
  • Have periods throughout the day when your mind is free of thoughts.  Just clear your mind and sit in the silence.  Your intuition is subtle and to hear it you need to be quiet.
  • A good time of day to connect with your intuition can be when you just wake up.  This time when your mind is still somewhat asleep–allows a space for your intuition to come through.  So next time you wake up–instead of jumping out of bed–just spend some moments in the silence and start to sense what your intuition is trying to tell you.
  • Many times intuition is felt in the body.  Become familiar with how you feel yours.  Many people feel their intuition in their belly and that is why they say “I have a gut feeling about this”.  Tune into the sensations that communicate your intuition.
  • Carry around a small notebook throughout the day and jot down when you have an intuitive awareness.  The more you look for and pay attention to your intuition–the stronger it will get for you.
So once you are reconnected with your intuition they key thing now is to listen to it and take action on what it is telling you.  How often have you had an intuition and went against it and ended up really regretting it?
Develop a relationship with your intuition.  Understand how it communicates with you and then start to trust it.
Your intuition is a deeper wisdom that is able to assess a situation more quickly and accurately than your logical mind.
Have a willingness to trust your intuition even if it might not make sense to your logical mind.  Say to yourself and others “I am doing this because it feels right to do”–and leave it at that without having to “explain” yourself.
Become friends with your intuition and let it guide you to an easier and more joyful life!

Guess Who is On Your Side

September 25th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

When you bump up against challenges in your life–how do you respond?  Do you fall into negativity saying–“this always happens to me–things never go my way”.  Or are you able to stay positive and affirm that whatever is happening is ultimately going to be a good thing for you.

I believe one of our opportunities as we journey through our lives is to determine what our mindset will be in the face of challenges.  Many of us can adopt a similar pattern of how to handle challenges as our parents did.

So notice if that is what happens for you.  Do you get angry like your Dad did when things don’t go your way–or are faced with a challenge?  Do you avoid what is happening like your Mom did?  Do you vent or complain but never take positive action?  Just for a moment notice what pattern you tend to have in the face of challenges.

I had a client years ago that when she faced a challenging situation she would imagine  the worst case scenario immediately.  When she did this—it would stress her out tremendously and as she would say “I just freak out.”

What we uncovered at the root of this reaction was a belief that the world was against her–and she had to really fight for what she wanted.  This stemmed from her experience as a child of her parents not supporting the things she truly desired–and that she had to fight to get what she wanted.

Her reaction was an old response mirroring how things used to be for her when she was younger.  We discussed that her experience had shaped her experience of how she felt about the world—and even how she felt about her spiritual connection.  Instead of the Universe and her spiritual connection being supportive of her—she felt like they were somehow against her.

We did some work to help her connect more with the truth by doing some guided imagery for her to connect more directly with her spiritual connection.  By doing this she was able to experience this incredible unconditional love and support—in a way that she never had felt before.

She began to see that her spiritual connection was on her side and wanted only the very best for her.  She realized her parents were operating from closed hearts and their own fears—but not from how the Universe and our spiritual connection truly operates.

We all have this kind of loving support around us each and every moment.  Whatever your spiritual beliefs are—you are surrounded by love and support all of the time.  The Universe is truly on our side.  The more you open up to this in your own life you can trust that when challenging things happen that the Universe does want you to “win” and even if on the surface it appears “bad”—these events are ultimately leading you to good things.

When challenging things happen see if you can affirm to yourself “I trust—the Universe is on my side and this will ultimately lead to good things for me.”

9 Self-Esteem Exercises – #9

September 18th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta


One of the things that will hold you back from feeling good about yourself is expectations of perfection. Do you put pressure on yourself to do things perfectly or to be perfect?  See if you can watch yourself carefully to see if you are doing this because it puts unrealistic pressure on yourself—it also sets you up to self-judge if you fall short of your perfectionist expectations. 

See if you can loosen things up for yourself and let yourself be imperfect and to do things imperfectly.  You will find yourself relaxing more and just letting yourself be yourself–-and you are WONDERFUL just the way you are—you don’t need to prove it with being perfect.

Today—relax and just let yourself be you—letting go of expectations of perfection!

9 Self-Esteem Exercises – #8

September 13th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta


When is the last time you reached out for support? I work with people on developing a Loving Adult on the inner level that is attending to their feelings and taking loving actions on their own behalf.  We also need support from others.  So it is the job of the Loving Adult to determine when it is time to reach out to others.

The wounded self—the conditioned part of us may think that reaching out is a bad thing–that others will think we are weak or will let us down etc.—so it is better to “just do it on our own.”  If you follow the wounded self and don’t reach out you will feel alone and isolated–on top of struggling with whatever you are struggling with.  Reaching out to others will help you open up to connection–to know that you are not alone and that someone cares about you and is supporting you.  Many of our wounded states are related to feeling somehow different and set apart from everyone else in our suffering.  So reaching out and connecting in of itself is very healing and will help you shift into a better place.

Spirit works through other people as well as coming from your own guidance. The information that would be helpful to you is always trying to get through to you.  It can be our own negative states that lower our frequency and make it difficult to receive this information. So reaching out to others will allow helpful information to come through to you that you may be blocking because you are having a difficult time.

Give yourself the gift of reaching out to others for support when you need it.



9 Self-Esteem Exercises – #7

September 11th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

How loving are you with those around you?

How you treat others will affect how you feel about yourself as well as greatly impact the quality of your connections with people.  Notice what you focus on in others—is it their faults–what they are doing wrong—or what you love and appreciate about them.

A simple loving comment to someone in your life–can improve how you feel as well as positively affect their mood as well.  Make it a practice to share appreciations with people throughout the day—everyone you meet share something you appreciate about them and watch the joy you feel as well as the joy you will spread to them.

You can be a beacon of light to those you connect with—so let your light shine and share your appreciation today.







9 Self-Esteem Exercises – #6

September 6th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

One of the exercises that you can practice to raise your self-esteem is to practice being gentle with yourself.

Instead of putting pressure on yourself or having expectations of perfectionism–lighten up and be gentle.  This energy of being gentle will make your inner world lighter and more loving.

You will begin to relax and be more authentic–be more “you”.  This inner shift will also help you to be more gentle with those around you—which will open the door for a closer connection.

Today practice being gentle with yourself.


9 Self-Esteem Exercises – #5

September 4th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta


What happens inside of you when you get a reaction from someone that you perceive as negative? How you react will affect how you feel about yourself.  Carmen was talking to a good friend of hers and she sensed that he was irritated by something—right away she went into self-judgement–she thought “He must be upset with me–he must think that I am being very demanding” she felt awful when she thought this–but it was an automatic reaction.

It reminded her of when she was little and her Mom would be mad and irritated and took it out on her. She learned to take responsibility for her Mom’s upset—Mom must be right—I am bad.

Now Carmen is an adult and developing a Loving adult voice inside of her–once she catches this self-judgement she can move into compassion with herself and say “Honey we don’t know what is going on with our friend—it probably has nothing to do with you–we are not responsible for his feelings–let’s just check in with him and see what is going on.” She did check in with him and the irritation she thought he was in was something else that he was feeling and was not related to her at all.

So next time you perceive a negative reaction from someone–first move into compassion with yourself —reassuring yourself that you are not the cause of these feelings in the other person. Then you can move into the intent to learn with the other person and find out what is going on for them.  By doing this you  will prevent yourself from going into needless self-judgement of yourself–causing yourself unnecessary pain and eroding your self-esteem.

9 Self-Esteem Exercises – #4- You Are Much More Than You’re Conditioned to Believe

August 30th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta


I was working with a client this week and I talked to her about remembering the immense strength and gifts of her Spirit. We talked about remembering that no matter what the situation is–she is capable from the perspective of  her Spirit to handle it.

I had her envision her Spirit expanding and extending beyond the bounds of her body–becoming very large. I said “This is who you really are—this large, capable, talented, wise, compassionate, creative, smart Spirit—with accumulated knowledge and wisdom that is beyond what your earthly perspective might lead you to believe.”  I said “We are much more than we have been conditioned to believe–and it is important to remember the truth of who we really are and act from that.”  She had been able to have glimpses of experiencing who she really was and now it was time for her to claim it and live this more consistently.  I suggested she use this visualization to help her connect with who she really was when she felt small and doubtful about her own capabilities.

By connecting with this she will respond to situations more creatively and authentically–feeling like she is an empowered leader of her life than a helpless victim of what is happening around her.

Claim who you really are and take action from your expanded Spirit— this is who you really are!

9 Self-Esteem Exercises – #3- When You Really Get How Wonderful You Are, Your Life Improves

August 28th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

I think the issue of low self-esteem is HUGE for people. Everyone I work with needs to do a lot of work around this issue.  The good news is that when you really get how wonderful you truly are—your whole life improves— because self-esteem affects everything–it affects how much good you allow into your life.  The phrase “How good do you allow your life to get?” is more of a function of a belief that you really deserve a wonderful life.  The good that is wanting to come into your life can only flow to the extent you allow it to flow in.   The better you feel about yourself–the more good you will allow into you life.

The interesting thing with Self-Esteem is that the wounded part of us—the part of us that absorbed negative messages and conditioning as a child is very devoted to the status quo.  This means that we have gotten used to the negative messages and the low self-esteem–this can feel familiar to us.  Moving into the truth—which is that we are an amazing, magnificent person with tremendous worth and potential—stretches us out of our comfort zone.  Without even being aware of it–we can keep ourselves locked into low self-esteem by the choices we make that are in alignment with this low-self-esteem.  An example of this I see over and over is when people go to make the decision to attend a Workshop.  They have the initial excitement and they want to attend—then the old conditioning can take over and come up with a million and one reasons why they shouldn’t attend.  It is the fear of the conditioned self—of moving out of what is familiar into the territory that is new—it is the unknown.  This conditioned self is very compelling and many people listen to it—and they continue to stay stuck—not even knowing it was there own choice that is keeping them there.

One of my “I am Fabulous ” Workshops, there was a woman who said she wanted to attend—a day later she called and said she had a real busy week and would be too tired to attend.  I saw that this was her conditioned self and encouraged her to attend anyway—stating that the Workshop would be energizing for her.  She attended and had a huge breakthrough that completely changed her life—she has been the happiest and most peaceful she had ever been since the Workshop.  She was so close to not coming.  She would have missed out on the very thing she needed to grow to the next level.

So watch yourself when you make decisions–make sure that you are making decisions that are what you really want—that are moving you forward—rather that decisions from your conditioned self that are going to keep you stuck in old patterns.

Make decisions that are in alignment with your true priorities.  Back what you want with positive action.


9 Self-Esteem Exercises – #2- Self Talk

August 23rd, 2012, by Shelley Riutta


What is your self-talk like today? If you are feeling happy and peaceful your self-talk is probably positive and supportive.  If you are feeling stressed, anxious, depressed, guilty etc. etc. your self-talk is probably filled with self-judgement.

Many people routinely engage in self-judgement and aren’t really aware that they are doing it. It can be so automatic and regular that it is invisible.

The best way to start to tune into your self-talk is to monitor your feelings. Your feelings will give you pretty accurate feedback if you are being loving or unloving with your self-talk.  If your feeling good your self-talk is positive and on track– if you are feeling bad it is an indicator that there is some negative self-talk happening inside.

See if you can move into curiosity with your feelings—let’s say that you are feeling anxious—ask the anxious part of you–“Why are you so anxious?” —the anxious part of you may reply “I’m feeling so anxious because you are telling me that I made a stupid comment in the meeting today.”  Now that you are conscious of what is happening you can move into dealing with this self-judgement.

You can move into a Loving adult space with yourself and talk to the part of you that is self-judging and say “I’m sorry that I said that you made a stupid comment—you actually added a lot to the meeting—you did just fine with the comment you made—you have a lot of good ideas and I am glad we shared them.”  This statement is more supportive on the inner level and will create a sense of peace and security—in turn opening you up to more creative ideas.  The self-judgement stifles creativity and creates immobilization.

Love yourself today by using loving, supportive self-talk.





Hi, I'm Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC a Holistic Psychotherapist in private practice. I specialize in helping people connect with their Authentic selves--and from this create a life that is in alignment with their Life Purpose and filled with Joy. I offer transformational individual counseling, presentations, groups and Workshops. You can get my Free Workbook "What Do You REALLY Want: Finding Purpose and Passion in Your Life" here or contact me at 877-346-1167.
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