Self-Talk 101

November 15th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

Every waking moment we talk to ourselves about the things we experience.  Our self-talk, the thoughts we communicate to ourselves, in turn control the way we feel and act.”      John Lembo

How have you been talking to yourself today?  Has it been loving and kind or critical and harsh.  We all have an inner dialogue that is going on throughout the day.  The tone and content of this dialogue will determine how you feel.  If it is loving and supportive, you will feel peaceful and happy; if it is judging and unkind, you will feel anxious and down.

If you feel you are unaware of how you are talking to yourself- there are certain exercises you can do to begin to bring this inner dialogue to the surface so you can begin to work with it more consciously.   Once you make this dialogue “visible,” you will then know “No wonder I feel so anxious” or “No wonder I feel so depressed”.  This is the first step to making profound changes that will tremendously impact your life.

Sometimes people are walking around with an inner part of them being incredibly critical and hard on themselves — picking at themselves for every little thing.  This criticalness and pressure is very draining and will put a lid on their joy and freedom of expressing who they truly are.  Sometimes this is modeled after a parent that was very critical with them and sometimes it is something that they developed on their own.  Either way, the good news is that they can transform this inner dialogue to one that is more loving and supportive.

One of the methods of shifting this dynamic is to understand the function of the criticalness.  If you can, think of the part of you that is critical and understand that it has some good reasons for being critical–it actually is trying to help you.  The logic it has for “helping” you is somewhat distorted, but it makes sense to this part of you.  The more you understand the “why” than you can work with it more consciously.

If you know you have a critical part of you, dialogue with it in writing.  Ask it, “Why are you being so critical?  How are you trying to help me?”  Once you get the answer you can respond to this part of you and find a way to address the things it is trying to help you with in a way other than the criticalness.  Here is an example:

Audre was so excited that she was making so much progress in developing her business.  She had a big vision for what she wanted to do in the world and she was actively manifesting her vision.  The more progress she made, the stronger and more vicious her critical voice began to get, saying things like, “You don’t know what you are doing; you don’t have the talent to do this!”  “Who do you think you are?  Do you think you are better than everyone else?”  and “You are going to fall flat on your face.  You may as well give up right now”. 

This voice surprised her because she had moved forward so much because she had worked hard to develop a supportive inner voice and now her critic was bigger than it had ever been.  This was confusing to her and when she listened to her critic, she became very disheartened and depressed.  She knew that there must be a good reason this part of her was so strong now–and she felt it may be connected to how much progress she had made.  She dialogued with this part of her, asking why it was so critical of her and how it was trying to help her. 

This critical part of her said back, “I’m afraid that you will be hurt as you have more success,”  “I’m afraid others will judge you,”  “I’m afraid you will fail and this will disappoint you,” “I’m trying to hold you back and keep you safe from all of these things; I don’t want you to get hurt”.  As Audre heard the concerns of her critic she felt compassion for this voice inside of her that was trying to protect her.  She realized it was just a part of her that was very afraid. 

She was able to talk back to the inner critic and say this, “Thank you for your concern and care for me.  I need to let you know that I can take care of myself as I succeed.  If others judge me, I will not take it personally and understand it is their own hurt parts doing that, and has nothing to do with us.  Also there is no way that we can fail.  The success is that we are following our dreams.  We have the courage to do this.  We may have obstacles and setbacks at times, but we will keep going and that in of itself is a success.”

By saying these words to her critic, her whole body relaxed and she was able to move forward without that critical voice floating around in her head.  Every now and then she would hear it again, but she would do the same process and listen to and reassure this part of herself.  By doing this she was able to continue to move forward in leaps and bounds without her inner critic–out of fear–trying to put the brakes on her.

Open up to learning from your inner critic:  How is it trying to “help” you?  Just asking this question alone—can help you understand the deeper reasons for the criticalness—and allow you to address these concerns more directly.  When you address these concerns directly—you then can let go of the critical voice all together!

Reach for the Stars

November 13th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“If you can dream it, you can do it.” Walt Disney

“Whatever you can do, or believe you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I love the phrase “Reach for the Stars!” It conjures up images for me of magic and seems to open the doorway to amazing possibilities. We typically are not taught to reach for the stars. We are not encouraged to dream big dreams. We are for the most part taught to instead keep our dreams small and contained—following the typical societal roadmap for success: go to college in an area that you can make money, maybe in an area you enjoy—and then pursue this career path, find a life partner, possibly have a family. This is not bad—it may even lead to an enjoyable life—but what if there was more?

What if there was a door beyond your current thinking that took you to a place that was a life you thought you could only dream about? What if the only way you could get there was to first believe it is even there to begin with? Could you open up to this idea—or does a negative voice shoot this down “Yeah, right—me living a big dream—fat chance!”

We all have conditioned thought patterns that dictate how we perceive the world around us and what possibilities are open to us and which are not. These thought patterns are handed down to us from generation to generation. If your parents lived their dreams and were filled with joy and fulfillment, then you probably inherited some thought patterns that will lead to the same experience for you.But if your parents were unhappy and struggled with fear, addictions, lack of purpose, lack of deep connection with others than watch out—your inherited conditioned thought patterns may be hazardous to your Life!

The interesting thing about these thought patterns are that they are invisible to us. They are so much a part of us that they feel normal and we don’t even notice the ways they are limiting our life. You are probably even shaking your head right now wondering “What is she talking about?”  The signs that you are under the influence of these limiting patterns can be one or more of the following:

  • a sense that there is something more to life, that there is something missing
  • feelings of depression and hopelessness about life—what is the point
  • feelings of envy or jealousy about the lives of other people “I wish my life could be more like that”
  • lack of Joy and excitement
  • lack of deep fulfillment and satisfaction with life
  • lack of deep connection with yourself and others
  • lack of a sense of a larger purpose for your life
  • lack of a sense of spirituality and feeling of spiritual connection

What is sad is that there is amazing potential that lies in each and every one of us—but so little of it is fully realized because of these limiting thought patterns. If you are feeling some of the things I listed above it is a signal that there is more in life awaiting you.These feelings are indicating that conditioned thought patterns are holding you back from more that is wanting to be expressed inside of you.

Your essential self, your authentic self came into the world to fully express it’s unique creativity and gifts. Imagine the incredible, vital energy of your authentic self hitting the conditioned thoughts of your family –bumping up against thoughts like “You aren’t talented” “Just get a good job and build security—that is what is important” “Don’t rock the boat—keep safe—don’t upset anyone” “Be a good girl/boy and do what I expect and want you to do” “You’re not anyone special” or thoughts about life in general like “Life is struggle—work hard and maybe you will have some enjoyment in retirement” “Life is not meant to be fun—just get through it” “Don’t expect so much, be happy with what you have” “You can’t pursue your dreams AND make money”.

Do you notice any of these messages from your own life? Some of these messages are given directly and some are conveyed through what you saw your parents experience in life and the choices they made. An example could be “Dad stayed at the same job for 40 years even though he hated every minute of it.” Let’s look at all of the messages you would receive if you observed your parent doing this:1. It is OK to stay in a job that you don’t like for the security 2. It’s not OK to take risks—don’t rock the boat—don’t risk 3. Your happiness is not important 4. How you spend the majority of your time doesn’t matter—as long as you are making money 5. Life is not about being happy 6. It is good to sacrifice your happiness for others. These messages can have an impact on you that you are aware of like “My Dad was stuck in a job he didn’t like—I will never let that happen to me.” So you make a conscious choice to break out of that pattern. But what about the unconscious impact?

What I think is most interesting is the messages that we have absorbed that we are NOT conscious of and how these affect our everyday life and choices. We need to watch for this the most—because these unconscious thought patterns will affect us and limit all that we are capable of accomplishing in our life. Use the signals above as a guide to let you know if these unconscious patterns are limiting you. If you are feeling incredibly happy, joyful, on purpose and are feeling vibrantly alive -than you are fine—these limiting patterns are probably not operating in your life.If you are feeling some of the feelings listed above than the following tips to break out of these patterns will be helpful.

How to Break Free from Limiting Patterns and Reach for the Stars

  1. Realize that your Limiting Thinking is NOT true- Those limitations and negative thinking has no basis in reality, even though it feels very real. The reason it feels real is because you have been saying these things to yourself for a long time and as a child you probably got this message over and over as well. Remember just because the voice is LOUD does not mean it is TRUE. So your inner message of “I could never do that (your dream), I don’t have what it takes”—is absolutely false. The interesting thing is that what is really true is usually the exact opposite of your limiting thinking. So if you reverse your thought—you will get closer to what is really true. Taking the previous example—if you reversed it—it would be “I could do that (your dream), I absolutely have what it takes!”
  2. If you have the Dream, You have What it Takes to Manifest the Dream- Your dreams are in your heart for a reason-they would not be there if they were not something you were meant to have. They are there to be a beacon, a guide for you to move towards and pursue. Your dreams are not wishful thinking, but important images to pay attention to because they are the guides to the incredible possibilities of your life. If you didn’t have the capability to achieve your dream it would not be in your consciousnesses to begin with. Trust that because it is there, all of the necessary things for its manifestation are present as well. Taking steps towards your dream and trusting that as you do you will get information and inspiration that will lead you to your next step. You don’t need to know the whole outline of how you will achieve the dream before you begin—actually you won’t know the steps until you begin. It is like the information and steps to manifest the dream are contained in the essence of the dream and will not be revealed until the dream is believed and pursued.
  3. Believe in Your Dreams- When you were growing up, if your parents didn’t honor and pursue their own dreams- or discounted the dreams you shared with them—you may have learned to do the same thing with your own dreams. Pay attention to your dreams and treat them as beautiful and sacred—honoring them, valuing them and pursuing them. If you can think of the belief in your own dreams as a warm flame that you surround your dream with—warming it, nurturing it and fueling it. We all know people who have dreams in their hearts- but they don’t believe, honor or pursue these dreams. Belief is what activates a dream and acts as a catalyst for its manifestation.Remember the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their own dreams.” Believe in the beauty of your own dreams and take them seriously.
  4. As You Move Towards Your Dream You Will Move Through Fear- Your conditioned thinking is your comfort zone—these thoughts feel “normal” and familiar to you. As you move towards your dream you will be bumping into your conditioned thinking, which will want to hold you back in your comfort zone. You are moving into new territory and it can be like an alarm goes off in your conditioned thinking saying “Red Alert—we are doing something different, out of our comfort zone, we are in DANGER—we need to stop and go back to safety.” Bob Proctor, a noted life coach, calls this the terror barrier. Many people when they get to this point feel that these uncomfortable feelings are an indicator that they are making a mistake and they stop pursuing their dream. This terror is actually a good thing— it is letting them know that they are moving out of their limited thinking patterns and into the freedom of living from their true self. When I work with clients I say to them they will probably feel uncomfortable, awkward and scared as they move out of operating from their limiting beliefs—so these feelings are a good thing.  If they are feeling comfortable they are probably still in their old patterns and not much will be changing for them. So when you feel the fear or even terror—reassure yourself that this is part of the process and that you are right on track.
  5. Pursuing Your Dream Helps you to Grow and Expand- We are meant to move toward dreams that may initially feel out of our reach because these dreams cause us to stretch, grow and expand into the highest expression of our unique essence. To achieve our dreams we need to move through inner and outer barriers that have kept us living small. As you move through these barriers you will start to feel more energized and confident in all areas of your life. It has a ripple effect of freeing up the energy that was expended keeping you limited.Our fears and limiting thoughts take up a lot of our energy—once this energy is no longer being channeled into limitation—it is available for creativity, joy and achieving your dreams.
  6. The more you feel your own essence and all of the gifts it has to express—you let go of fear even more because you trust that you are bigger, stronger at the level of your Spirit (essence) than you ever knew. When you are living in the walls of your limited conditioning—you feel small and incapable of doing a lot beyond what you have already been doing.Once you break free into a new, expanded experience of you —you have a greater sense of all that you are really capable of doing.
  7. If You Are Going to Dream, Dream Big- The bigger the dream, the bigger the growth and expansion you will experience. What I find is that people set their initial dream and as they move towards it they begin to grow, expand and release their limited thinking. Then it is like they are in a new realm of open space and incredible possibilities. It is from this space that there can be even greater clarity about their dreams and oftentimes these dreams will expand and get bigger. It is like their initial dreaming was when they were in the constrictions of their limited thought patterns and they couldn’t access the bigger dream. It may be that the current dream may expand and get bigger or it may shift to a different dream that had never entered their mind before. Example: Audre had always wanted to write professionally—she even had gone to school for creative writing. When she began to dream her dream was to write for a local newspaper and write articles for magazines. As she began to move towards this—she worked through all of the fears and limited thinking that had held her back for years. She began writing every day and submitting her articles for publication. She also took a part-time job as a reporter for a local community newspaper. She felt fabulous and her confidence in her writing grew. She began to access a bigger dream which was to write and publish a novel and to have this become a best-seller.This had never crossed her mind before and it surprised her when it came up. She was able to embrace and honor this dream. She pursued it and felt herself move to a higher level of aliveness, joy and fulfillment than she knew was even possible.
  8. Let Go of What Others Think and Get Positive Support– To pursue your deepest dreams it is important to let go of what others think of you. Because there are so many people walking around with unlived dreams in their hearts—it is easy for them to project their own limiting thinking on to you.It is important to notice this for what it is and to not take it seriously and buy into their concerns or negativity.
  9. Find people who are dreamers, and more importantly people who are taking their dreams seriously and taking action to achieve these dreams. Ongoing positive support is essential in reaching your dreams. Find your support through your friendships or through a structured support group. I feel so strongly about the importance of this kind of support that in my practice I have a whole range of services that give people lots of support. You are not meant to do this alone. You need lots of support and the right kind of support—from people who believe in the beauty and possibility of your dreams.You may have not been able to make progress towards your dream for the simple fact you have not had enough support around you.

So begin today to believe in the beauty of your dreams and the incredible possibilities for your life. Take action to move towards these dreams and watch doors open up for you, unique gifts of yours come out— all leading you to life, that until now you have only dreamed about. Believe and it is possible.

The Power of Inspiration

November 8th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“I love to laugh, it keeps my soul alive.” Mark, River Falls, WI

“An Inspired Life Can’t be Planned.

We are Spirits housed in human bodies.  There are things that fuel our bodies and things that fuel our Spirit.  If you neglect feeding your Spirit –you will feel drained and like you are a robot going through life.

Being inspired is a powerful way of nourishing and uplifting your Spirit.  What inspires you?  How often are you around the things and people that inspire you?  Just reflecting on what inspires you and making sure you are surrounding yourself with these things will lift your Spirit and energize you.

Tips To Get Inspired

1. Who are the people in your life that inspire you.  What about them inspires you?  This is a quality that you value and more than likely possess yourself but maybe you aren’t expressing in your life. Use this to open up more to this quality in your own life.  Make sure the people you have in your life inspire you.

2. What music inspires you?  What about the music uplifts you—is it the voice of the singer—the words–the rhythm?  Do you like music that you can dance to or music that is calm and soothing?

3. What things visually inspire you?  Is it certain things in nature—the ocean, mountains, trees?  Is it certain colors?  Is it certain architecture of buildings?

4. Which restaurants inspire you?  What food do you love?  What decor do you find appealing?  Do you make sure to go to restaurants that inspire you?  Enjoy the smells of the food, the laughter and connection that happens there.

5. What books do you find inspirational?  What words uplift you?  What authors inspire you?

6. What creative activity inspires you?  Dancing, painting, playing music, singing, making jewelry.

7. Do you inspire yourself?  Are you daring to live your dreams, express your creativity–living with passion?  Are you committed to a vibrant, inspired life?  Like the quote above–an inspired life can’t be planned.  Are you willing to let go and allow yourself to be inspired—and more importantly to act on these inspirational impulses?

8. What geographic areas inspire you?  Does your Spirit lift just thinking about Italy, Hawaii, Alaska or the California coast?  Make a plan to travel to the areas that inspire you.  There is a reason you are drawn to that area—it is a place that will feed your soul.  If you can’t travel there just yet, put up pictures of that area that you can see every day.

9. What movies inspire you?  Look for movies that inspire you—don’t settle for anything less than that .  One of my favorite inspirational movies, “Miss Potter” is about the amazing life of Beatrice Potter (the artist who created Peter Rabbit).

10. Talk to your friends and family about what inspires them—you will deepen your connection with them from having this discussion.  Ask them “What inspires you?”

11. Surround yourself with things that inspire you.  When you look around your home—are you inspired?  Put up pictures that uplift you–buy art work that inspires you.  Buy flowers that you love.

Open up to feeding your Spirit with all of the things that inspire you—and watch your energy level soar and your life expand into grand new possibilities!

I would love to hear what Inspires YOU.  Please share this below:

Too Good to be True

November 6th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“Doing what you Love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.”  Wayne Dyer

When I work with people to connect with their Authentic Self and align with their Life Purpose–their lives get better and better.

A big challenge can be letting all of this good in and getting comfortable with it.   A recent example of this was client of mine, Karen, (not her real name.)

Karen had connected deeply with her Authentic Self and got clarity about her Life Purpose.  She took the courageous steps to align with and follow her Life Purpose.

She was so surprised to find the more she followed her true purpose–the better things got in every area of her life–including her finances.  She was able to do what she loved and was making three times what used to make at a job she hated!

She was flying high until she attended a recent party of one of her friends.  One person after another complained about the economy or how much stress they had at a job they didn’t even like.

Karen began to feel guilty for all of the joy and abundance she was experiencing.  She said “I felt ashamed–like I was bad for having it so good–who am I to have all of this when others are struggling so much?”

I explained to her that what she was experiencing was what EVERYONE is meant to be experiencing–a connection with their true self, loving connections with others and work that they love–including amazing abundance.

I shared it was her own commitment and investment in her own growth that had paved the way for what she was experiencing.  “Karen, every person at that party can experience what you are—it is up to them to love themselves enough to invest their time, energy and money in their growth—like you did”  I said to her.

Karen nodded her head as she listened to me“But what about the money—I can’t believe I am earning so much money for doing what I love—it seems like it is too good to be true!” she questioned.

“Again, Karen, this is how it is meant to be for everyone.  Abundance flows to us when we are aligned with our True Life Purpose.  The other people at the party are struggling so much because they aren’t aligning with their true path.  They are instead chasing security—but true security and abundance comes from doing what you love and what you are meant to be doing on the planet.  That is what you are experiencing now.”

Karen said “When you explain it that way—it makes so much sense.  I feel so joyful and happy—I want everyone to be experiencing what I am!”

“And Karen, everyone can experience what you are experiencing but it is up to them to make the choice to invest the time and energy to explore just what their true path is—and then take the steps to align with it.  Then their life is not ‘too good to be true’ but what their life was meant to be like all along— incredibly joyful and abundant.”

The Power of Playing

November 1st, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old:  we grow old because we stop playing”  George Bernard Shaw IMG_2266

Have you played lately?  Really played?  One of the things that I encourage all of my clients to do is to “play more”.  One of the symptoms of the disconnection from our Authentic Self is that we don’t play.

Many people stop playing when they are a young child–because they had to “grow up fast” to deal with the challenging issues going on in their home.  Or they were shamed for the natural playing that they did do with messages like “Stop making so much noise” “Stop acting so stupid” “Stop living in a fantasy world”.

Or it just was not safe to play because of the harsh, critical energy coming from their parents.  So part of the healing process is opening up again to your natural capacity for joyful play.

Here are some tips to begin to open up to playing more today!

1. Create safety inside of yourself to play by releasing any self-judgments of yourself you may have when you play.  Part the energy of play is experimenting with new things, being creative and being more in the flow of the present moment.  If you begin to judge yourself you will immediately stop this natural flow.

2. Give yourself permission to look silly and to make mistakes.   In my Joy Workshops–where we play A LOT–I encourage the participants to actively try to “make a fool of themselves”.  When permission is given to flub up and do it wrong- it creates an incredible opening for your natural, joyful player to emerge.

3. Ask your Inner Child what she/he would like to do to play more.  Your own inner child is a big time fun machine and has a ton of ideas of things to do that would be fun.  So tune and ask this part of you “What would you love to do that would be really fun for you?”  If you don’t get any answers right away–keep asking with an intention to really listen and learn from this sweet, fun, playful part of you.

Sometimes the lid has been on this part of you for so long that it doesn’t really trust that you really want to know what ideas it has.

4. Find people to play with.  Think of everyone you know and identify who you feel the most comfortable “playing” with?  Spend time with this person and experiment with playing.  You may be the catalyst for play in the relationship–and that is OK.

One of my friends says to me “I love spending time with you because you are the friend I have the most fun with.”  It is because I have set an intention to have fun with everyone I spend time with.  If you don’t have anyone in your life that feels safe enough to play with–set an intention to meet new people who are fun, safe and loving.

5. Plan at least one fun thing to do a day–ideally two or three things.  Make fun and play a priority in your life.  So often we let our responsibilities take over and we don’t leave any time for the things that truly nurture our Spirits—like play.

So re-prioritize your day and put fun at the TOP of your list–rather than the bottom.  Surprisingly—and this happens over and over for my clients–the more fun they have–the more they end up getting done!  How wonderful is that!

So open up again to the natural, joyful and playful energy that is inside of you— letting the child in you finally be FREE!

Are You Afraid of Your Potential?

October 30th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“There is a power inside every human–against which no earthly force is of the slightest consequence.”  Neville Goddard

Are you hiding your own magnificence under lock and key?  Do you feel like you have so much more you want to do and express in your life?  You feel the “there is so much more for me than this feeling?”

You know that changes need to be made but at the same time you feel AFRAID–and this stops you in your tracks.  You start to:


*Doubt yourself


*Waste time

*Get scattered

*Worry about someone else

*Get sidetracked with someone else’s agenda

*Get sick or have an accident

Why are you afraid of your Potential–of being all that you came here to be— expressing your gifts and Life Purpose full out?

Here is what I have discovered are at the core of this Fear for people:

1. I’m afraid of really being SEEN because if I am visible I will be: hurt, judged, told I am a fake, told I don’t know what I am talking about, told I am bad, told I am wrong for what I am doing, lightning may even strike me:)

2. I’m afraid that my life will change and that I won’t like it:  I won’t be as close to my family, my partner and I will grow apart, I won’t have enough time with my kids,  I won’t have any free time, I will lose what I love in my life

3. I’m afraid things will change and others close to me won’t like it: my partner will leave, my kids will get angry with me, my friends will be resentful, my family will judge me

4. I’m afraid I won’t know what to do–I will be overwhelmed with the new and will feel lost: what if I can’t do it, what if I fall flat on my face, what if I’m just not talented enough, what if I make a fool out of myself?

5. I am afraid I am not ready now I have to: go back to school, take another class, learn this new process, practice some more (maybe a few more years:), I have to wait until I am not afraid,  I’m plain just not ready now!

6. I am afraid that the Universe and other people won’t support me: The Universe is against me, other people will not support me, I’m doing this all alone–it feels so big and I feel small, as I move forward I will get resistance rather than support.

Can you see yourself in some of these fears?  These are the core fears of you holding yourself back from your Potential and Dreams.


The Opportunity of Uncertainty

October 25th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“There is no certainty on this earth, only opportunity”  Douglas MacArthurIMG_0820

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” Albert Einstein

Do you have things going on in your life that lead you to feel uncertain and afraid?   Have you lost a job, is a relationship changing–is there some transition going on in your life?  With so much change happening in the world right now–we can take different perspectives on what is happening.  We can say to ourselves “Everything is crumbling around me, the world is falling apart” or we can say “What is no longer serving my higher growth is fading from my life–opening up an even better path for me to travel.”

What if the Uncertainty is a gateway to even better things in your Life?  What if it moves you into examining yourself on a deeper level—helps you to get clear about your true values and priorities—helps you to ask the ever important question “Why are you here—how do you want to use your very precious time on the planet?”

Here are some other Gifts and Opportunities of Uncertainty:

1. Helps you to deepen your connection with yourself

2. Allows you to pull forth strength and courage from inside of you that you never even knew you had

3. Helps you to loosen your dependence on outer structures and people for your sense of security (question yourself–what outside of me do I rely on for a sense of safety and security?)  The shaking of this is to gently remind you that you have incredible resources in your own Spirit that can be called upon and relied upon in any situation–plus your own Spiritual Connection–whatever that is for you.

4. Allows you to develop your faith and trust in the Spiritual realm which is where you come from—being that you are a Spiritual Being having a human experience.  When there is nothing to hold onto for certainty in the physical realm–we can have our deepest experiences of connection with the Divine.

5. Opens you up to new paths that you would have never considered if you were back in your old “certain” world.

6. Gives you practice to embrace change with faith and trust—rather than dropping into fear (a priceless ability that you will carry with you forever)

7. Gives you the opportunity to move into a deeper level of Authencity with who you are (drop pretending to be something other than who you are) and to finally line up with your Authentic Dreams and Life Purpose

8. Helps you to WAKE UP rather than live life on auto-pilot.

What Gets in the Way of Your Joy?

October 16th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.”  Mother Teresa


We all want to feel more Joy in our lives.  It can be confusing and frustrating when you aren’t experiencing the Joy you know you could be feeling.  You can say to yourself “I want to feel better–I want to feel Joy–but I don’t know how to get to it.”  


The following are false beliefs about Joy that could be getting in the way of you experiencing a higher level of Joy in your life each and every day.


False Beliefs about Joy

1. I can’t be Joyful if everything in my life is not how I want it right now.  This is false.  You can be joyful any moment that you choose to be.   A phrase that can help with this is “I don’t have the job I really want—-but I can be happy now.” 


Practice cultivating the capacity to feel the Joy that is available to you right now—looking out at the window at a beautiful tree, feeling the love in your heart for someone you love, feeling the love from your spiritual connection that is ever present, feeling gratitude for what you do have.

2. I can’t be Joyful if someone around me is in a bad mood.  Start to get that your Joy is dependent on what you are focusing on internally—it is 100% in your hands not in anyone elses.  This shifts you from a victim into true empowerment.  Treat keeping your Joy level high—no matter what state anyone around you is in—like a practice—and the more you do it the better you will get at it!

3. I can’t be Joyful if something bad is happening in my Life   ” I can’t be joyful because: I am sick, someone I love is sick, my husband lost his job, I am getting divorced, I lost someone close to me.”  Again this is a limiting belief and see if you can open up to the moments of Joy that are available in the midst of challenge. 


The more you do this—the easier the challenge will be for you.   You will finally get that your Joy is not connected to external circumstances–it is inherently inside of you–available each and every moment–and you can reconnect with it at any time.

4. I can’t be Joyful because I don’t know how to be.  Many people are so disconnected from their Joy that they can forget how it feels to be Joyful.  The wonderful thing about this is your Authentic Self—which has aspects of your Inner Child—knows exactly how to be Joyful—it is very clear about this. There is no confusion on this level. 


The confusion comes in when your Conditioned Self blocks the Joy of your Authentic self with messages like “Don’t do that you will look stupid,” or “You need to be serious and responsible”, “All heck will break loose if you let go and be Joyful” , “I’m afraid of what others will think.”


These are the messages that need to be healed and released to let the natural Joy of your Authentic Self fully express itself.

Take the Leap……and FLY!

October 11th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“The dream was always running ahead of me.  To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle. ”      ~Anais Nin

What would you do if you were not afraid?  What risks would you take in your life?  What would it look like to take a leap in your life?  Many of us spend most of our time creating what we think of as safety and security in our life—having a job that pays well, having a home, saving for the future, keeping our relationships the same etc.  Essentially establishing and maintaining the status quo. 

Now there is nothing wrong with this except that many people tend to error on the side of not knowing when it is time to make a change—when it is time to take a leap.  You see we are expansive Spirits who are here to grow, learn and express our full potential.  These signals that our Spirit wants to grow are very subtle and can be easily covered over by the voice of what we “should” be doing in our life.  When this happens it can lead to problems in our lives.

Here are some Signals that you may need to take a leap in your life:

1.   The biggest Signal is that you feel stuck and stagnant.  Because we are meant to grow and expand when we stop this expansion we will feel the energy inside of us start to get “stuck”.


2.   You tend to worry a lot. There is a lot of creative energy that wants to move within you and create—if you stop this energy from creating it has nowhere to go but into another activity like worry.  So stop worrying and start creating!


3.   You are over focused on other people and their problems. Because you don’t have a compelling leap you are making in your life you have no focal point for your energy—so you can get easily distracted by other people’s problems.  If you find yourself repeatedly caught about in other people’s issues—it is a signal you need to take leap in your own life.


4.   You feel depressed.  There is passion and dreams within you that long to be felt and expressed.  If you put a lid on these—you hold this energy back and you will feel depressed.


5.   You are jealous of other people and what they are doing in their own lives. This is another signal that you have untapped dreams inside of you.  Treat your jealousy as a gift, a signal that you have so much more inside of you that wants to be expressed— much more than you ever could imagine!


6.   You have low energy.  When you are not growing and expanding your energy starts to get dull and stagnate—which makes it even harder to start to make changes.  The key is to move out of your inertia to begin to make the changes that your Spirit is calling to make—and to keep moving forward.


7.   You are easily irritated and frustrated. Your Spirit can get a little cranky if you are not heeding its call for you to move forward in your life.  You can blame it on your job, your mate, your kids, your relatives—but it all comes down to the core issue—you must listen to your Spirit and begin to express this beautiful energy or you will be very frustrated.


8.   You feel hopeless. Your Spirit may be signaling that you need to Leap—but your conditioned self—your fears– block you from taking any action.  Just like a little kid who wants something so badly and the parents are ignoring these desires— and not doing anything about them—the child begins to feel hopeless.  The same dynamic operates inside of you.  Not listening to the voice of your Spirit over and over can lead to the same kind of hopeless resignation.  Instead listen to your Spirit and take action on these desires and you will feel your hope and excitement for the future begin to soar.


Learning to Fly—Flying Lessons


Lesson One: If you are confused what your Leap would be ask yourself “What is one thing that my Spirit has been quietly telling me to do for years—that I have been ignoring?”  It could be something small—like “My Spirit has been telling me to exercise regularly for years”.  Take action on this information because there is a wisdom in your Spirit—it knows what step needs to happen first—and this step will lead to the next—and then to the next.  Before you know it these smaller steps will build a momentum that will lead you to even bigger leaps.


Lesson Two: Know that you will be uncomfortable as you take your Leaps and learn to Fly.  Use this statement to help yourself “I am willing to be uncomfortable to make the changes I need to make.”  The more you acknowledge that uncomfortableness is just part of the process—not a signal that you need to stop—you will be able to continue to move forward.  The more you do this the more comfortable you will get with the uncomfortableness.


Lesson Three: Keep Your Eye on the Prize.  As you take your Leap there will be things that may appear that seem like obstacles in your path.  Your job is to keep focused on where you are going and NOT to get sidetracked into over focusing on these obstacles.  When I work with clients and this happens—the more they stay on track with their vision of where they are going—the more easily these apparent obstacles just fall away.


Lesson Four: As You Leap You Will begin to Adjust to a Higher, Lighter Vibration and your Body will shed dense energy so you Can Move Higher.  This can manifest in getting physically sick for a brief time as your body adjusts and releases the dense energy you have been carrying.  After you get better you will feel better than you did before you got sick—you will have upleveled.  You can also release this denser energy through feeling emotions of sadness, fear and anxiety.  Again these emotions will quickly move through and you will feel lighter and more free after they pass through. Remember the lighter you are—the easier it is to fly!


Lesson Five:  You will feel VERY supported as you take action and Leap.  Once you make the decision and leap you will feel amazing levels of support come to you from the Universe.  Clients of mine who had been sitting on the sidelines for years contemplating their leap are blown away with how supported they feel when they finally take action.  They say to me “If I knew it was going to feel this wonderful I would have made this change years ago!”  You will feel support from other people, circumstances will come together to support you in miraculous ways, doors will fly open, signals come that let you know you are on track.  You will meet people who are your “flying partners”—people on your path that are uniquely supporting you by giving you enthusiastic encouragement and also practical support and information.


Lesson Six: As you Leap and Begin to Fly you will Feel a Special Joy. You are meant to be flying—soaring in your life.  There is a special joy that is natural to our Spirits when we align with what we are meant to be doing in our life.  It is a joyful, fulfilling feeling that we are on track in our life—exactly where we are meant to be.  It is what everyone is longing for—and for good reason—this is the feeling that you are meant to be feeling each and every day.


So listen to the subtle—or not so subtle signals that you are meant to take a leap in your life.  Listen and leap—trusting that as you jump you will feel a sweet support and a cheering surrounding you –lifting you to fly even higher into the magnificent life that is meant especially for you!

Who Do You Think You Are?

October 9th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta


I was always looking outside of myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within.  It is there all the time.” Anna Freud


One of the most common issues I work with in my work with clients is Self-Worth.  Many people are unable to see the true magnificence of who they really are. 

They are blind to it because of distorted perceptions they have of themselves.  It is like they are looking at themselves through a clouded, dirty window that is distorted–and when they look through this window they believe these distortions are really true.

What a relief for them when they find out this is what they have been doing!  Clearing away these distortions—like scrubbing the window clean—reveals the truth—that what is on the other side of the window–is their beautiful Authentic Self—Radiant, Loving, Joyful, Creative, Compassionate, Fun and Sparkly.

You may be reading this—thinking– Is that  really me—all of those things.  Yes–absolutely.  You may think–“Well I don’t feel so Joyful—or Sparkly.”  And yes, that might be true–because you may be operating in old patterns of your Conditioned Self which will block your experience of your Joy, Your Sparkly energy. 

But the good news is the Joy is always there, the Sparkly energy is always there—it never goes away.  It is like the Sun beaming brightly on the other side of the passing clouds it is Constant, Bright and nothing can ever take it away.

So see if you can tune into this energy of your Authentic Self right now.  Drop below your worries, fears, self-doubt, irritation and begin to feel the Love, the Joy, and the Excitement of your Authentic Self—that just wants to be, to Love, to Express and Have lots of FUN.

I would love to hear from you what happens when you do this.  You can post your answer below.




Hi, I'm Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC a Holistic Psychotherapist in private practice. I specialize in helping people connect with their Authentic selves--and from this create a life that is in alignment with their Life Purpose and filled with Joy. I offer transformational individual counseling, presentations, groups and Workshops. You can get my Free Workbook "What Do You REALLY Want: Finding Purpose and Passion in Your Life" here or contact me at 877-346-1167.
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