Opening Your Heart to Love

December 4th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“Whatever the Question, Love is the Answer.”   Wayne Dyer

“There is only one happiness in life—to love and be loved.”  George Sand


One of the greatest experiences we can have in life is the sharing of love.  Yet, for many of us—we only have fleeting glimpses of this.  Our culture prioritizes other things ahead of love like; making money, working on the computer, watching sports, shopping etc.  Think about your own life- do you put sharing love with others at the top of your list?

One of the Mentors in my life was an 89 year old man named Reuben.  He was such a teacher to me about making love a priority in one’s life.  He was constantly sharing love with those around him—and what was wonderful is you could actually feel it emanating from him.  He magnetized people to him because it felt so good being in this field of love that surrounded him.

I remember one time we were visiting a mutual friend and Reuben looked at our friend and said “There is nothing in the world more important than love—Nothing!”  Our friend had a startled look on his face because of the level of intensity in which Reuben said this to him.  Reuben meant what he said to our friend with every cell of his body.  He believed in love and lived it every day.  He jarred people out of the fog of being caught up in the less important things of life as a substitute for the most important thing—Love.

The time I spent with him was so valuable to me.  I remember thinking to myself when I was with him—“Pay attention and learn as much as you can from this man.”  I am still learning from him today when I reflect on the wisdom he shared with me.  I remember one time we were eating breakfast and he said to me “Honey, I’m not sure what happened to you when you were younger—but whatever it was let it go and open your heart.  Let your love out—it will help you, it will help your friend and clients.”  The power of those words still echo in my mind today—“Let it go and open your heart.”

At Reuben’s funeral I learned something that made me really get that he didn’t just say these words but he had lived them as well.  I learned that he had Post-Traumatic Stress from his experience in WW II.  His family shared with me that over the years he would wake up screaming from nightmares from his experiences in the war.  He could have allowed those horrible experiences to close his heart—but instead he let it go and kept his heart open.

When we let the love in our heart flow it is healing to us and those around us.  This flow of love is a natural state for us—but so many of us walk around with our hearts closed that it starts to feel normal!  I remember a client of mine years ago who struggled with anxiety, low level depression and difficulty sleeping.  We worked on him opening his heart more in his life.

Within a week of doing this his life literally transformed.  His anxiety and depression lifted—he was able to sleep at night.  He felt a peace that he had never felt before. He also had more energy—which is a result of having an open heart.   He had complained originally of feeling isolated from other people and very lonely.  As he kept the focus on sharing love and keeping his heart open in all of his relationships improved dramatically.

Over the months that we worked together as soon as he reverted back to his old pattern of closing his heart—his anxiety and depression would return.  His relationships would also start to suffer.  It became clear to him that his life worked so much better— was more joyful and fulfilling when his heart was open.

Tips to Open Your Heart

1.     Make a Conscious Choice to Open Your Heart to Love- Decide today that sharing love will be a priority for you.  You can share your love and kindness with everyone you have contact with during your day.  What does sharing love look like, you might ask?  Here are some examples: 

  • Sharing appreciation for someone.  Appreciate a quality they have—their kindness, compassion, integrity, creativity—you could say “I really love how kind you are”.  Or appreciate how they did something—“I love the way you handled that situation.”  “I love that you are such a good listener.” You can share appreciation that they are in your life “I am so grateful that you are in my life.” There are hundreds of things you could say throughout the day to show appreciation for the people in your life.


2.  Let Go of Past Hurts and Open Up to Love- Most people have experienced hurt in the past and in response to that have closed their hearts. They fear opening their hearts and getting hurt again.  What ends up happening is their closed heart ends up causing a problem for them in their lives.  When their hearts are closed they will feel lonely and isolated from other people.   They miss out on the closeness that they can share when their heart is closed.  They feel their current unhappiness is related to the past hurts- when in reality it is being caused by their heart currently being closed.

The reality of the open heart is that you will hurt sometimes when your heart is open—but that is OK—you will survive.  All of the love that you will experience will more than make up for the periods of pain you might have when your heart is open.  The people in my life who have had open hearts have had rich lives filled with love—and they also had times of deep pain when they lost someone they really loved.  Reuben was married to his Soulmate, Joyce, for over 50 years and he missed her tremendously when she died.  His grief and pain reflected the depth of love that they shared.  He still remained open to love despite the pain of this loss.


3. When You are Looking at Someone Look at them Through the Eyes of Love– There is so much beauty in each and every person.  I remember years ago I was at training and there was a man at the training who was irritating me.  I can’t remember now what he was doing that was bothering me.    I initially didn’t want to be by him at all and then I decided to spend some time with him and look at him through the eyes of love.

The next time we spoke—instead of listening to what he was saying I looked underneath his protective behavior to the Essence of who he was and what I saw blew me away.  He was so beautiful and loving in his Essence!  I was awestruck by the fact that what I was seeing in him was what I would find in everyone I met.  I thought to myself “I could do this with everybody at this training—there is so much love to share!”  So today—look underneath others protective behavior and really see who they are.


4.     Focus on Giving Love—not Getting Love- When you are with others are you trying to get their love or approval—or are you focused on sharing love with them?  When you are trying to get love you are coming from a place of neediness and putting expectations on others to give to you.  The other person won’t feel loved by you, but instead will feel pulled on by you.  If you instead realize that all the love that you could ever need is already in your own heart and all around you—you won’t feel the need to try to get it from others.  So by opening your heart and sharing it with others you will then feel the love that is within you.  You will actually feel it more as you share it. 


5.     View Relationships as an Opportunity to Learn How to Love Unconditionally- When you are feeling challenged in a relationship it is an opportunity to learn to unconditionally love yourself and the other person more.  When you are focused on learning about love you will be in your Authentic Self—and things will go fairly smooth.  When you are trying to control the other person to be different or trying to control the outcome you are in your Conditioned Self and things will be very difficult.  When you are learning about love you ask “How can I learn and grow in this situation—what is my learning” vs. when you are in your Conditioned Self you have your eyes on the other person and you blame them for your discomfort.


6. Remember Why You are Here– I have done a lot of research about people who have had near death experiences.  The thing that I read over and over again is that when people were reviewing their lives (after they died) the question they were asked was “How well did you love?” – not how much money you made or how well you did on that work project—it was all about Love.  I think one of our challenges as we journey through our lives is to keep our eyes on what is most important—Love—as other things pull for our attention and try to convince us that they are so “important.”

It can take some time to reconnect with your open heart when it has been closed for a period of time.  Be patient with yourself and begin to practice slowly opening your heart with others.  Remember that as a child your heart was naturally open—it is how you are meant to be in the world—your heart wide open sharing your love with others.  I wish you joy and happiness as you let that beautiful light of your heart shine!

The Power of Positive Rituals

November 29th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

We live in a fast paced, hectic world where it is very easy to lose sight of each other and the special bonds we have.  The power of positive, mindful rituals can strengthen our connections with each other and provide on-going ways to stay connected.
I just returned from my annual Sister’s weekend–where I get together with my two sisters.  It is something I look forward to every summer and it is a guaranteed time that we have together to have fun and deepen the connection we have. 
There is something about an extended visit that allows for deeper sharing than typically happens on short visits.  There are things that I find out about my sisters only during these Sister’s weekends—even though we are close and talk a lot during the rest of the year.
We spent time trying to figure out how many years we have been doing our Sisters Weekend ritual.  We had fun remembering the goofy times we had and even talked about some hurts that had never been revealed before.  When I reflected on the power of this annual ritual I began to think of all of the other opportunities to create positive rituals in our lives. 
Here are some examples of positive rituals that you can create in your life to strengthen your relationships:
 1. Hug and kiss your honey mindfully when you part from each other during the day.  Be present and feel your love from them as you kiss.
2. Create a weekly date night or family night where you do something special together.  You can take turns planning this.
3. Follow rituals you enjoyed from your own family and create new ones that are unique to you and your family
4.Think of silly rituals–celebrate an obscure Holiday or an event every year.  I have friends who have a Mardi Gras party every year–which is a fun celebration in the winter in Wisconsin
5. Celebrate anniversarys that are important to you.  The day you met your sweetie, the day you stopped drinking.  Think of days you want to honor every year and create a ritual to honor it.
6. Release rituals that no longer have meaning for you that you continue because of expectations from other people.  This frees you up to create rituals that have true meaning for you and those you love.
7. Create a ritual of fun on one day on the weekend.  It could be afternoons on Sunday are only for doing fun things.
8. Create fun rituals in your neighborhood.  I have a neighbors who have a yearly Winter Solstice party that brings the whole neighborhood together to have fun and celebrate.
Be creative and think of meaningful or fun ways to celebrate the connection you have with those you love. 
I would love to hear about any rituals that you already celebrate in your life. Please post below:)

The Power of Inspiration

November 8th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“I love to laugh, it keeps my soul alive.” Mark, River Falls, WI

“An Inspired Life Can’t be Planned.

We are Spirits housed in human bodies.  There are things that fuel our bodies and things that fuel our Spirit.  If you neglect feeding your Spirit –you will feel drained and like you are a robot going through life.

Being inspired is a powerful way of nourishing and uplifting your Spirit.  What inspires you?  How often are you around the things and people that inspire you?  Just reflecting on what inspires you and making sure you are surrounding yourself with these things will lift your Spirit and energize you.

Tips To Get Inspired

1. Who are the people in your life that inspire you.  What about them inspires you?  This is a quality that you value and more than likely possess yourself but maybe you aren’t expressing in your life. Use this to open up more to this quality in your own life.  Make sure the people you have in your life inspire you.

2. What music inspires you?  What about the music uplifts you—is it the voice of the singer—the words–the rhythm?  Do you like music that you can dance to or music that is calm and soothing?

3. What things visually inspire you?  Is it certain things in nature—the ocean, mountains, trees?  Is it certain colors?  Is it certain architecture of buildings?

4. Which restaurants inspire you?  What food do you love?  What decor do you find appealing?  Do you make sure to go to restaurants that inspire you?  Enjoy the smells of the food, the laughter and connection that happens there.

5. What books do you find inspirational?  What words uplift you?  What authors inspire you?

6. What creative activity inspires you?  Dancing, painting, playing music, singing, making jewelry.

7. Do you inspire yourself?  Are you daring to live your dreams, express your creativity–living with passion?  Are you committed to a vibrant, inspired life?  Like the quote above–an inspired life can’t be planned.  Are you willing to let go and allow yourself to be inspired—and more importantly to act on these inspirational impulses?

8. What geographic areas inspire you?  Does your Spirit lift just thinking about Italy, Hawaii, Alaska or the California coast?  Make a plan to travel to the areas that inspire you.  There is a reason you are drawn to that area—it is a place that will feed your soul.  If you can’t travel there just yet, put up pictures of that area that you can see every day.

9. What movies inspire you?  Look for movies that inspire you—don’t settle for anything less than that .  One of my favorite inspirational movies, “Miss Potter” is about the amazing life of Beatrice Potter (the artist who created Peter Rabbit).

10. Talk to your friends and family about what inspires them—you will deepen your connection with them from having this discussion.  Ask them “What inspires you?”

11. Surround yourself with things that inspire you.  When you look around your home—are you inspired?  Put up pictures that uplift you–buy art work that inspires you.  Buy flowers that you love.

Open up to feeding your Spirit with all of the things that inspire you—and watch your energy level soar and your life expand into grand new possibilities!

I would love to hear what Inspires YOU.  Please share this below:

Too Good to be True

November 6th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“Doing what you Love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.”  Wayne Dyer

When I work with people to connect with their Authentic Self and align with their Life Purpose–their lives get better and better.

A big challenge can be letting all of this good in and getting comfortable with it.   A recent example of this was client of mine, Karen, (not her real name.)

Karen had connected deeply with her Authentic Self and got clarity about her Life Purpose.  She took the courageous steps to align with and follow her Life Purpose.

She was so surprised to find the more she followed her true purpose–the better things got in every area of her life–including her finances.  She was able to do what she loved and was making three times what used to make at a job she hated!

She was flying high until she attended a recent party of one of her friends.  One person after another complained about the economy or how much stress they had at a job they didn’t even like.

Karen began to feel guilty for all of the joy and abundance she was experiencing.  She said “I felt ashamed–like I was bad for having it so good–who am I to have all of this when others are struggling so much?”

I explained to her that what she was experiencing was what EVERYONE is meant to be experiencing–a connection with their true self, loving connections with others and work that they love–including amazing abundance.

I shared it was her own commitment and investment in her own growth that had paved the way for what she was experiencing.  “Karen, every person at that party can experience what you are—it is up to them to love themselves enough to invest their time, energy and money in their growth—like you did”  I said to her.

Karen nodded her head as she listened to me“But what about the money—I can’t believe I am earning so much money for doing what I love—it seems like it is too good to be true!” she questioned.

“Again, Karen, this is how it is meant to be for everyone.  Abundance flows to us when we are aligned with our True Life Purpose.  The other people at the party are struggling so much because they aren’t aligning with their true path.  They are instead chasing security—but true security and abundance comes from doing what you love and what you are meant to be doing on the planet.  That is what you are experiencing now.”

Karen said “When you explain it that way—it makes so much sense.  I feel so joyful and happy—I want everyone to be experiencing what I am!”

“And Karen, everyone can experience what you are experiencing but it is up to them to make the choice to invest the time and energy to explore just what their true path is—and then take the steps to align with it.  Then their life is not ‘too good to be true’ but what their life was meant to be like all along— incredibly joyful and abundant.”

The Power of Playing

November 1st, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old:  we grow old because we stop playing”  George Bernard Shaw IMG_2266

Have you played lately?  Really played?  One of the things that I encourage all of my clients to do is to “play more”.  One of the symptoms of the disconnection from our Authentic Self is that we don’t play.

Many people stop playing when they are a young child–because they had to “grow up fast” to deal with the challenging issues going on in their home.  Or they were shamed for the natural playing that they did do with messages like “Stop making so much noise” “Stop acting so stupid” “Stop living in a fantasy world”.

Or it just was not safe to play because of the harsh, critical energy coming from their parents.  So part of the healing process is opening up again to your natural capacity for joyful play.

Here are some tips to begin to open up to playing more today!

1. Create safety inside of yourself to play by releasing any self-judgments of yourself you may have when you play.  Part the energy of play is experimenting with new things, being creative and being more in the flow of the present moment.  If you begin to judge yourself you will immediately stop this natural flow.

2. Give yourself permission to look silly and to make mistakes.   In my Joy Workshops–where we play A LOT–I encourage the participants to actively try to “make a fool of themselves”.  When permission is given to flub up and do it wrong- it creates an incredible opening for your natural, joyful player to emerge.

3. Ask your Inner Child what she/he would like to do to play more.  Your own inner child is a big time fun machine and has a ton of ideas of things to do that would be fun.  So tune and ask this part of you “What would you love to do that would be really fun for you?”  If you don’t get any answers right away–keep asking with an intention to really listen and learn from this sweet, fun, playful part of you.

Sometimes the lid has been on this part of you for so long that it doesn’t really trust that you really want to know what ideas it has.

4. Find people to play with.  Think of everyone you know and identify who you feel the most comfortable “playing” with?  Spend time with this person and experiment with playing.  You may be the catalyst for play in the relationship–and that is OK.

One of my friends says to me “I love spending time with you because you are the friend I have the most fun with.”  It is because I have set an intention to have fun with everyone I spend time with.  If you don’t have anyone in your life that feels safe enough to play with–set an intention to meet new people who are fun, safe and loving.

5. Plan at least one fun thing to do a day–ideally two or three things.  Make fun and play a priority in your life.  So often we let our responsibilities take over and we don’t leave any time for the things that truly nurture our Spirits—like play.

So re-prioritize your day and put fun at the TOP of your list–rather than the bottom.  Surprisingly—and this happens over and over for my clients–the more fun they have–the more they end up getting done!  How wonderful is that!

So open up again to the natural, joyful and playful energy that is inside of you— letting the child in you finally be FREE!

Why You Are Stuck

October 23rd, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“Don’t ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”    Howard Thurman

Do you feel stuck in your life?  Do you feel there is something more for you in your life but you don’t know what that is?  Or you know what it is but you don’t know how you are going to get there?  The “feeling stuck“ feeling is an important feeling to pay attention to.  It is a signal that something needs to change in your life—but the change first needs to begin on the inner level.  You see we are all meant to live magnificent lives filled with joy and purpose—we are actually hard wired for this.  The stuck feeling is giving you a signal that you are out of alignment with your true self—your Authentic self.

Your Authentic self is the truest you—the you that you intended to be when you came here.  Your Authentic self is already filled with Joy and knows it’s purpose on the planet—this is already within you—it is not contained outside of you—where many people get sidetracked looking.

So many of the clients I work with feel a sense incredible untapped potential within them that is just not being expressed.  They feel the frustration of this knowingness– coupled with confusion they feel about how to tap into this energy and express it more meaningfully in their lives.  The most powerful thing that I share with them that begins to transform their lives immediately is beginning to distinguish the voice of their conditioned self (all the fears, false beliefs and patterns they have been taught) from the voice of their Authentic Self.

Many listen to the voice of their Conditioned Self and allow this voice to dictate their decisions in life.  Listening to this voice will lead to confusion, lack of confidence, unwillingness to take risks, despair, anxiety and even anger.  This voice will keep you stuck in old patterns and situations that aren’t good for you for YEARS.  The Joy that is inside of you will not be able to be felt or expressed with this Voice running the show.

To start to get you to distinguish this voice from your Authentic Voice—here are some examples:

1. Conditioned Self Voice“You better stay right where you are right now, it’s safe, secure and the money is good—don’t rock the boat.The economy is bad and you should be lucky you even have a job.”

Authentic Self Voice-“I’m so excited to find my life purpose!I know there is something special I am meant to do—I can just feel it and I can’t wait to figure it out.I am going to sign up for the Life Purpose Mentoring Program so I can start moving forward as soon as possible.I am so excited—what an adventure this will be!”

2. Conditioned Self Voice“I probably don’t have a Life Purpose—life is just meant to be how it is now—not awful—but not really great either.I think I want too much in my life.”

Authentic Self Voice- “I know life can be better—I can feel it inside of me.I have made positive changes in my life and I can do it again.I am willing to take the risks to be all that I came here to be and I know I will be supported as I step out in faith”

3. Conditioned Self Voice“I could never make money at my Life Purpose –that is just a pie in the sky dream there are only a few lucky people who get to do this.I better just stay realistic and resign myself to what I am doing now—it’s not so bad

Authentic Self Voice-“I know I can make money at my Life Purpose.  I might need to learn some new things and grow in different ways—but I am willing to do it because I LOVE what I am doing.  And remember the phrase “Do What You Love and the Money will Follow”  I will remember this as I move forward.I am so excited—it is going to be even better than I imagine!

4. Conditioned Self Voice-I don’t think we are supposed to be happy.  I see everyone around me and they are just as unhappy as me—that is just life.

Authentic Self Voice“Happiness is meant for me and everyone else and I am going to open up fully to my happiness and live fully now.  No more waiting on the sidelines—I am going to make choices that support what brings me happiness–NOW.  I will be a role model for others to move into their happiness too—won’t that be fun!

5. Conditioned Self Voice- “I can’t do that because……….I”m too old, too young, don’t have the money, don’t have the time, I will fail, I will succeed, I don’t deserve it, it’s too late, I don’t know what will happen, I will regret it, I’m scared, I will do it later…….

Authentic Self Voice-“I CAN do it because………I have what it takes, I deserve to be happy, I say so, it is my time to really live, now is the time, I’m not going to hold back anymore, It will be a success no matter what happens, I will be supported by the Universe every step of the way.

See how different you feel reading each of these statements?  Feel the heaviness and constriction of the Conditioned Self and on the other hand the lightness, joy and expansiveness of the Authentic Self.

Use these examples to track the voices inside of you-–practice labeling the voice of the Conditioned Self and begin to NOT listen to it.  Instead–Listen to that soft, subtle, joyful, hopeful, light voice of the Authentic Self inside of you—it will lead you on a path of more Joy, Love, Peace, Lightness and sweet Adventure—the kind of life you were meant to live!

The Power of Unconditional Love

October 18th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“Of all the earthly music, that which reaches the farthest into the heavens is the beauty of a truly loving heart.” Henry Ward Beecher

Cindy came into to see me because she was being so critical with her husband Bob, who she loved very much.  She said “Some of the things that he does just irritate me and I can’t stop being critical of him.”  I suggested  “Why don’t you practice loving the things that irritate you about him—because they are a part of him and you love him.  You will be practicing being unconditionally loving—which will be healing for you as well as him.”   This was a new idea for her and she was skeptical that she could do it she said “You mean I can make this decision to love these things and have them not irritate me?”  I said “Yes, just give it a try and see how it feels.”

Cindy returned two weeks later and was amazed by the transformation in her, in Bob and in their relationship.  She said “Every time I started to feel the irritation I said to myself—I am going to love this about him—and I surprised myself because I really started to love the quirky things about Bob—and now I love him even more.”    Cindy went on “It felt so good to be loving and not so critical—I felt closer to Bob and our kids—-and what surprised me the most is that I felt so much better about myself.  I felt that I was being more of who I truly am—which is loving—not critical.”  I said “That is right Cindy –you were being in alignment with your Authentic Self—which is unconditionally loving and accepting.”

She then said “And what really amazed me is the whole atmosphere in our house changed.  It felt more safe, warm and accepting—even the kids started being kinder to each other.  It is like everyone relaxed and felt more open and loving.”  I said “Yes, this shift from being critical to being loving can have a profound impact on the kind of atmosphere that you create in your relationships.”  She said “It was like my change created a ripple effect that affected everyone in the home.”  I said “Yes, it is very often that way that it only can take one person who has made a clear commitment to loving to help the others in the home shift into this as well.”

The above example can be applied to any of your relationships.  Once you get this simple but powerful truth that who you are—your very being is love—and when you begin to operate from who you are—your relationships are transformed, healed—and you become a living example of unconditional love and acceptance—a beautiful reflection of divine love.

What Gets in the Way of Your Joy?

October 16th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.”  Mother Teresa


We all want to feel more Joy in our lives.  It can be confusing and frustrating when you aren’t experiencing the Joy you know you could be feeling.  You can say to yourself “I want to feel better–I want to feel Joy–but I don’t know how to get to it.”  


The following are false beliefs about Joy that could be getting in the way of you experiencing a higher level of Joy in your life each and every day.


False Beliefs about Joy

1. I can’t be Joyful if everything in my life is not how I want it right now.  This is false.  You can be joyful any moment that you choose to be.   A phrase that can help with this is “I don’t have the job I really want—-but I can be happy now.” 


Practice cultivating the capacity to feel the Joy that is available to you right now—looking out at the window at a beautiful tree, feeling the love in your heart for someone you love, feeling the love from your spiritual connection that is ever present, feeling gratitude for what you do have.

2. I can’t be Joyful if someone around me is in a bad mood.  Start to get that your Joy is dependent on what you are focusing on internally—it is 100% in your hands not in anyone elses.  This shifts you from a victim into true empowerment.  Treat keeping your Joy level high—no matter what state anyone around you is in—like a practice—and the more you do it the better you will get at it!

3. I can’t be Joyful if something bad is happening in my Life   ” I can’t be joyful because: I am sick, someone I love is sick, my husband lost his job, I am getting divorced, I lost someone close to me.”  Again this is a limiting belief and see if you can open up to the moments of Joy that are available in the midst of challenge. 


The more you do this—the easier the challenge will be for you.   You will finally get that your Joy is not connected to external circumstances–it is inherently inside of you–available each and every moment–and you can reconnect with it at any time.

4. I can’t be Joyful because I don’t know how to be.  Many people are so disconnected from their Joy that they can forget how it feels to be Joyful.  The wonderful thing about this is your Authentic Self—which has aspects of your Inner Child—knows exactly how to be Joyful—it is very clear about this. There is no confusion on this level. 


The confusion comes in when your Conditioned Self blocks the Joy of your Authentic self with messages like “Don’t do that you will look stupid,” or “You need to be serious and responsible”, “All heck will break loose if you let go and be Joyful” , “I’m afraid of what others will think.”


These are the messages that need to be healed and released to let the natural Joy of your Authentic Self fully express itself.

Who Do You Think You Are?

October 9th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta


I was always looking outside of myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within.  It is there all the time.” Anna Freud


One of the most common issues I work with in my work with clients is Self-Worth.  Many people are unable to see the true magnificence of who they really are. 

They are blind to it because of distorted perceptions they have of themselves.  It is like they are looking at themselves through a clouded, dirty window that is distorted–and when they look through this window they believe these distortions are really true.

What a relief for them when they find out this is what they have been doing!  Clearing away these distortions—like scrubbing the window clean—reveals the truth—that what is on the other side of the window–is their beautiful Authentic Self—Radiant, Loving, Joyful, Creative, Compassionate, Fun and Sparkly.

You may be reading this—thinking– Is that  really me—all of those things.  Yes–absolutely.  You may think–“Well I don’t feel so Joyful—or Sparkly.”  And yes, that might be true–because you may be operating in old patterns of your Conditioned Self which will block your experience of your Joy, Your Sparkly energy. 

But the good news is the Joy is always there, the Sparkly energy is always there—it never goes away.  It is like the Sun beaming brightly on the other side of the passing clouds it is Constant, Bright and nothing can ever take it away.

So see if you can tune into this energy of your Authentic Self right now.  Drop below your worries, fears, self-doubt, irritation and begin to feel the Love, the Joy, and the Excitement of your Authentic Self—that just wants to be, to Love, to Express and Have lots of FUN.

I would love to hear from you what happens when you do this.  You can post your answer below.




…But I can be Happy NOW!

October 4th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life. ” Leo Buscaglia
How often do you put off your happiness until some future event occurs?  You can tell that you are doing this– if you have phrases like this going around in your head:
“When I have more money–I will be happy.”
“When I graduate–I will be happy.”
When my spouse changes–I will be happy.”
“When I lose this weight–I will be happy.”
“When I find my Soulmate–I will be happy.”
“When I redecorate my home–I will be happy.”
“When this awful situation is over–I will be happy.”
“When my kids are happy–I will be happy.”
Notice if you do this in your life.  For many people I work with this is such a routine pattern that they don’t even notice they are doing this.  Making some external condition a source of your happiness is a way to lose sight of your capacity for happiness in this very moment.
I was driving the other day and got stuck in traffic.  I had a choice of moving into frustration or opening up to some happiness I could experience in the situation.  I had thrown some music CD’s into the car that a participant in a presentation I gave a few months ago had made for me.  I decided it would be a good time to listen to one of them.
I put the music in and was immediately transported into such a pure state of happiness.  The music was amazingly beautiful, the sun was shining and Niyo (my dog) was being very sweet with me (the car was at a standstill-so he could be by me).  I could have been there for hours and would not have been bothered at all!
It is the opportunity each of us has in every moment and that is how to open up to the potential happiness RIGHT NOW!  Our lives are made up of these precious moments that I can be wasted if we have our mind set on something needing to be different for us to be happy.
If this is a pattern for you—(I know it has been for me!) a phrase that can help you shift this around is when you find yourself saying “I will be happy when this happens—“.  You can counter yourself with saying “But I can be happy NOW.” 
This powerful phrase can help shift you out of the future and affirms the truth of the vast opportunity for happiness right this moment.  It also can loosen your belief that your happiness is a function of external events happening around you–and is more of a function of your choice to embrace it right now–right where you are–just as things are.
Hi, I'm Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC a Holistic Psychotherapist in private practice. I specialize in helping people connect with their Authentic selves--and from this create a life that is in alignment with their Life Purpose and filled with Joy. I offer transformational individual counseling, presentations, groups and Workshops. You can get my Free Workbook "What Do You REALLY Want: Finding Purpose and Passion in Your Life" here or contact me at 877-346-1167.
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