What do you do during this waiting period? Do you stay positive and expectant this dream will manifest—or do you move into worry and fear?   What we do during this waiting period is important.  We can cause needless suffering if we move into worry and fear.  To help yourself not move into worry and fear–it is important to embrace a feeling of faith and trust.  Faith is having trust that the dream in your head will manifest in the physical world.  It is having trust in the unseen process of manifestation that is taking place during this waiting period.  Look for signs that you are on track.  You may meet someone who has already manifested the dream you are wanting—this is a way that you are being shown that this dream is possible.  Use this as reassurance that it will happen for you too.  Don’t use it in a negative way where you say “That happened for them—it will never happen for me”.  You may also get signs in a real literal way.  This just happened to me yesterday.  I had a few moments of doubt about a dream that I am manifesting and just as I thought those thoughts I saw a sign for a store called  “Dreams Come True”.  Now I have driven on this road 100′s of times and I had never seen this sign for this store before until yesterday!  This has happened to me before during times I really needed the support—and it is so reassuring and magical.

If you are in a waiting period for your dream stay in a state of faith and trust.  Look for signs and markers along the way that signal that you are on track–you just need to be patient.  I would love to hear of some of the signs you have had as you moved towards your dream.

A great way to quickly shift yourself out of this negativity is to put positive statement and phrases into a song–or a catchy phrase you sing. You can sing “I am amazing and I am creating the life of my dreams” or one that I got from inspirational singer Karen Drucker from her Songs of the Spirit II CD is “Money is coming to me easily and effortlessly money is coming to me!”  It doesn’t have to rhyme—you don’t have to be a fabulous singer (although I believe everyone is a fabulous singer!)  Have fun with it and make up your own inspirational songs.  A great place to do this is in the car—you can really belt it out then!!  Have fun with it—create your own songs and sing them LOUD.  The more you occupy yourself with your positive songs–the more you will crowd the airways so the negativity can’t take hold and keep you down.  It will also lift your vibration very high and it will be impossible for you to feel down!

Have fun and Sing Your Songs about what you want and the more you sing them—the more you will begin to believe them–and before you know it you will have Sung yourself into your Wildest Dreams!

I would love to hear what your songs are!

~Clarence Smithison

Opening up to the highest possibilities in our life takes courage and commitment. There can be a lot of negative naysayers in the media—or in your own life that have limited beliefs about what is possible in life.  There are also your own negative conditioning that you have absorbed from your family and the culture.  It can be hard to sort through all of this to find the light of your own dreams.

Once you find the light of your own dreams it is important to stay focused on this and move forward with faith and trust. Embracing this big dream opens up the world of ideas and inspiration to the manifestation of the dream.  You will not get these ideas and inspiration until you first embrace and believe yourself that it is possible.   It means setting your internal dial on “Anything is Possible” and keeping it there—no matter what.  As things are re-arranging themselves in support of manifesting your dream it may appear on the surface that something is going “wrong” and that your dream is not possible.  That is the most important time to not waver.  Keep yourself in faith and trust that your dream is in your heart because it IS possible–and you don’t have to know the HOW of how to reach your dream.  Just trust that as you move forward you will get intuitive nudges that guide you to each step.  Your own doubt and fear–will block this information from coming through–so it is important to stay in the lighter state of faith and trust.  Your faith and trust helps you to hear the information that will guide you to your dream.  It helps you tune into the frequency of the radio station “Anything is Possible”.

What can you do today to keep your dial set to “Anything is Possible”?

When we think of releasing–oftentimes it is about releasing the past, releasing limiting beliefs–essentially letting go of something negative.

But what about releasing something inside of us that needs to be brought forward and expressed?  One definition of “releasing” is to “set free from confinement or bondage.”  Is your own Inner Greatness being held back and confined–being held in bondage?

Here are some symptoms that you may have that reflect you ARE holding your Inner Greatness back:

• You feel very stuck and frustrated
• You yearn for something much more in your life–something grander than what you are experiencing (you are yearning for expression of your Greatness)
• You have self-doubt and question your capabilities (this means you’re not seeing your Greatness)
• You are having problems with abundance–not enough money flowing to you (when you fully express your Greatness–abundance is a natural consequence)
• You are getting jealous of others who are fully expressing their Greatness
• You don’t take action in alignment with your Greatness–ie You hide out and play small

If you catch yourself doing some or all of the above you need to put yourself on a “Greatness Alert” and do the following.

Tips to Release Your Greatness

1.      Trust that because you exist–you have this Greatness within you–no one is exempt from this–no one!  Look in the mirror and say “I came from Greatness (the Divine) and I have that very same Greatness(spark of the Divine) within me”

2.      Let your Greatness flow through you unrestricted by your Self-Judgment.  Let go of any self-judgment–it will hold back the free flow of your Greatness.

3.      Just because others hold themselves back doesn’t mean you have to.  Many people hold back their Greatness and get so disconnected from it they don’t even believe it is even there.  By you connecting with your Greatness you will inspire them to do the same.

4.      Take Action that is in Alignment with your Greatness. Ask if I were fully connected with my Greatness right now–what decision would I make here–what would I do?

5.      Consciously Cultivate your Connection with the larger Greatness (the Divine) that is Supporting you to Express your Greatness.  The Divine, the Universe is on your side–wanting you to express your Greatness Full out–expressing your Love, Your Creativity and Your Joy.  Close your eyes and feel this loving support with you RIGHT NOW.

By feeling this loving support from the Divine–it will give you the courage to step into the Greatness that you were meant to express and be!

What would you do if you were not afraid?  What risks would you take in your life?  What would it look like to take a leap in your life?  Many of us spend most of our time creating what we think of as safety and security in our life—having a job that pays well, having a home, saving for the future, keeping our relationships the same etc.  Essentially establishing and maintaining the status quo. 

Now there is nothing wrong with this except that many people tend to error on the side of not knowing when it is time to make a change—when it is time to take a leap.  You see we are expansive Spirits who are here to grow, learn and express our full potential.  These signals that our Spirit wants to grow are very subtle and can be easily covered over by the voice of what we “should” be doing in our life.  When this happens it can lead to problems in our lives.

Here are some Signals that you may need to take a leap in your life:

1.   The biggest Signal is that you feel stuck and stagnant.  Because we are meant to grow and expand when we stop this expansion we will feel the energy inside of us start to get “stuck”.

2.   You tend to worry a lot. There is a lot of creative energy that wants to move within you and create—if you stop this energy from creating it has nowhere to go but into another activity like worry.  So stop worrying and start creating!

3.   You are over focused on other people and their problems. Because you don’t have a compelling leap you are making in your life you have no focal point for your energy—so you can get easily distracted by other people’s problems.  If you find yourself repeatedly caught about in other people’s issues—it is a signal you need to take leap in your own life.

4.   You feel depressed.  There is passion and dreams within you that long to be felt and expressed.  If you put a lid on these—you hold this energy back and you will feel depressed.

5.   You are jealous of other people and what they are doing in their own lives. This is another signal that you have untapped dreams inside of you.  Treat your jealousy as a gift, a signal that you have so much more inside of you that wants to be expressed— much more than you ever could imagine!

6.   You have low energy.  When you are not growing and expanding your energy starts to get dull and stagnate—which makes it even harder to start to make changes.  The key is to move out of your inertia to begin to make the changes that your Spirit is calling to make—and to keep moving forward.

7.   You are easily irritated and frustrated. Your Spirit can get a little cranky if you are not heeding its call for you to move forward in your life.  You can blame it on your job, your mate, your kids, your relatives—but it all comes down to the core issue—you must listen to your Spirit and begin to express this beautiful energy or you will be very frustrated.

8.   You feel hopeless. Your Spirit may be signaling that you need to Leap—but your conditioned self—your fears– block you from taking any action.  Just like a little kid who wants something so badly and the parents are ignoring these desires— and not doing anything about them—the child begins to feel hopeless.  The same dynamic operates inside of you.  Not listening to the voice of your Spirit over and over can lead to the same kind of hopeless resignation.  Instead listen to your Spirit and take action on these desires and you will feel your hope and excitement for the future begin to soar.

Learning to Fly—Flying Lessons

Lesson One: If you are confused what your Leap would be ask yourself “What is one thing that my Spirit has been quietly telling me to do for years—that I have been ignoring?”  It could be something small—like “My Spirit has been telling me to exercise regularly for years”.  Take action on this information because there is a wisdom in your Spirit—it knows what step needs to happen first—and this step will lead to the next—and then to the next.  Before you know it these smaller steps will build a momentum that will lead you to even bigger leaps.

Lesson Two: Know that you will be uncomfortable as you take your Leaps and learn to Fly.  Use this statement to help yourself “I am willing to be uncomfortable to make the changes I need to make.”  The more you acknowledge that uncomfortableness is just part of the process—not a signal that you need to stop—you will be able to continue to move forward.  The more you do this the more comfortable you will get with the uncomfortableness.

Lesson Three: Keep Your Eye on the Prize.  As you take your Leap there will be things that may appear that seem like obstacles in your path.  Your job is to keep focused on where you are going and NOT to get sidetracked into over focusing on these obstacles.  When I work with clients and this happens—the more they stay on track with their vision of where they are going—the more easily these apparent obstacles just fall away.

Lesson Four: As You Leap You Will begin to Adjust to a Higher, Lighter Vibration and your Body will shed dense energy so you Can Move Higher.  This can manifest in getting physically sick for a brief time as your body adjusts and releases the dense energy you have been carrying.  After you get better you will feel better than you did before you got sick—you will have upleveled.  You can also release this denser energy through feeling emotions of sadness, fear and anxiety.  Again these emotions will quickly move through and you will feel lighter and more free after they pass through. Remember the lighter you are—the easier it is to fly!

Lesson Five:  You will feel VERY supported as you take action and Leap.  Once you make the decision and leap you will feel amazing levels of support come to you from the Universe.  Clients of mine who had been sitting on the sidelines for years contemplating their leap are blown away with how supported they feel when they finally take action.  They say to me “If I knew it was going to feel this wonderful I would have made this change years ago!”  You will feel support from other people, circumstances will come together to support you in miraculous ways, doors will fly open, signals come that let you know you are on track.  You will meet people who are your “flying partners”—people on your path that are uniquely supporting you by giving you enthusiastic encouragement and also practical support and information.

Lesson Six: As you Leap and Begin to Fly you will Feel a Special Joy. You are meant to be flying—soaring in your life.  There is a special joy that is natural to our Spirits when we align with what we are meant to be doing in our life.  It is a joyful, fulfilling feeling that we are on track in our life—exactly where we are meant to be.  It is what everyone is longing for—and for good reason—this is the feeling that you are meant to be feeling each and every day.

So listen to the subtle—or not so subtle signals that you are meant to take a leap in your life.  Listen and leap—trusting that as you jump you will feel a sweet support and a cheering surrounding you –lifting you to fly even higher into the magnificent life that is meant especially for you!

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”                                    Christopher Reeve

Are you pursuing a dream that you are passionate about?  Do you have a dream that you have sat on for years and have not taken action on it?   Do you even know what your dreams are?

Dreams are actually part of our guidance system in life.  They give us clues and a road map for what roads we should be traveling.    So if you feel unclear or confused about your dreams you have lost touch with your “dreaming” self.  Your dreaming self is that part of you that is connected with all of the possibilities in life.  It is the part of you that truly believes in the magic and joy of living. It is the part of you that will guide you to the sweetest happiness and fulfillment you could ever imagine.  So often people get disconnected from their dreaming self at a very young age by parents who stopped connecting with their own dreaming selves.

When I work with clients, part of the healing process is to re- connect with their dreaming self.  The part of them that has expansive dreams.  Very often they believe this part of them is not even there anymore -that it is lost and they never can retrieve this part of them.  The good news is that this part of them never goes away-it is just buried under the limiting beliefs of their conditioning and fears.  It may take a bit of time, but they can re-connect with this dreaming part of themselves and then start to listen to this voice.

You may be in that same position of being disconnected from your dreaming self too.  If that is the case I will give you some tips to help you make this connection.  Others of you may have some clarity about your dreams, but you have not taken action to pursue your dreams-I will address how to get beyond this too.

Tips to Reconnect with your Dreams

•1.       Let Go of Your Critical Thinking- To hear the voice of your dreams you first must quiet the critical voice inside.  If you think of what it is like to share a dream with a friend and they shoot it down with criticism.  How likely are you going to share your dreams with that person again?  Not very likely.  It is the same way with your internal voice of criticism.  If you bring a dream into your own mind and right away you find ways it won’t work or judge it as a stupid idea-the voice of your dreaming self will grow silent and pretty soon you have stopped dreaming.  Open up to being loving and supportive of your dreams.  This will create a safe environment for your dreams to come forward and be voiced inside of you.

•2.       Make a list of 100 things you would like to Do, Be or Have.  This may be a bit of a challenge to start this, but as you work on this list you will be taking the heavy lid off your dreaming self and it will begin to speak to you—and you will be able to add things to the list.  By starting the list you are priming the pump for more ideas to come through.  Here are some examples of things you may have on your list: travel to Hawaii, learn to salsa dance, learn to paint in watercolors, go on a weekend camping trip alone, take a family trip to the Grand Canyon, start your own business, be more adventurous etc.

•3.       Notice When You Like What Someone Else is Doing- Sometimes our dreams are brought forward because we see someone else living them.  This can sometimes come out in a statement like “Oh, I wish I could do that”.  For example if you have a friend who travels a lot and you love to hear the stories of her adventures-this may be a dream of yours that you should take action on. Pay attention to when you feel this way -this can give you clues to your own dreams.  What do you see other people doing that you would LOVE to do?

•4.       Forget about the “How” When You Are Dreaming- You may disregard your dream because you can’t see how this dream could ever happen.  You may say “I could never quit my job and do this thing I love-I can’t see how it can happen.”  The most important thing is to identify the dream and decide if this is the dream you want to pursue.  I have seen over and over that once people decide and commit—and move forward in action towards their dreams-the pieces of the puzzle of the “How” fall into place.  You will not experience this if you hang back and try to figure it out in your head “how” to do it before you will decide if you will do it.  The ideas, inspiration and the “how” come to you after you decide and commit.

•5.       Go somewhere Special and Inspirational to Contemplate Your Dreams- Take time from your busy schedule to reflect on your dreams.  Sometimes people are so busy with their day to day lives that they don’t have the time to reflect on their lives.  You need time and space to drop down into your feeling self-that is where the dreaming part of you lives.  Find a café or other inspirational place to go and reflect. Write at the topic of the page “If I could do anything I would……..”-and just let your mind drift and write down the ideas that come to you.  And remember like I mentioned above to quiet your critical voice while you are doing this.

•6.       Decide You Will Love Yourself Enough to Honor Your Dreams- It is an act of self- love to listen to the voice of your dreams and to pursue these special dreams.  Just like you want the people in your own life that you love so dearly to be happy and to pursue their dreams-love yourself in that same way and listen to your own dreams.  The level of happiness you feel in your life is directly related to how well you are listening to your dreaming self-and taking these dreams seriously.

•7.       If You Are Not Pursuing Your Dreams or are Confused about Your Dreams-What Are You Afraid Of?- If you have been stalled on pursuing your dream,  know that there are some fears that are holding you back-some of these are conscious and some of these are unconscious.  If they are conscious fears that you are aware of-write them down.  Look at what you wrote from the highest part of you-the part of you filled with faith and trust.   From this perspective write a response back to this fear.  An example of a fear could be “I could never make money at doing a job that I love-I have to just stay stuck where I am at-besides things are so unstable with the economy right now I can’t take any risks.”  Your answer back could be “Yes you can make money at doing a job you love-it just takes time, effort and persistence.  Trust that as we pursue what we love we will be supported on every level.  We can take steps now to move in that direction and trust that the right opportunity will open up for us.  We actually will be in a better position with the economy if we move in a direction of doing what we love rather than staying stuck out of fear.” Some of your fears may be more unconscious.  To address these unconscious fears ask yourself on a piece of paper.  “You aren’t taking any steps towards your dreams-why are you so afraid?”  Close your eyes and just listen in to what thoughts pop into your head-or the feeling you feel in your body.  Write the response down and do the same thing as I listed above-which is to right a response to this fear from the highest part of you.

•8.       Get Support- Out of everything I have listed above this is the most important tip of all.  Get support from believe who believe in you and the beauty of your own dreams.  In my last Life Purpose Mentoring Group some of the people had these dreams in their hearts for years but never took action to pursue them.  With the support of the program they made more progress in 3 months than they did in 10 years of sitting on their dream.  Others were able to step out of the confusion of going around and around again about trying to figure out their Life Purpose and were finally able to get the clarity they needed to move forward.  It was amazing-it was like seeing a group of people become alive again after years of holding themselves back and not fully living.  The power of positive, inspirational support is a key element in moving beyond your fears into the joy of living your dreams.

Begin today to re-connect with your dreaming self and listen to its beautiful wisdom.  Allow this wisdom to guide you to a life that is filled with joy and possibility!

I hope you have been enjoying the last days of summer. I have decided to extend summer until the end of October—it has just been such wonderful weather–I don’t want it to end:) 

Last weekend I was up in Door County with a dear friend and we went to Peninsula State Park–and it was beautiful–as usual.  Here is a photo of the water.

I have an exciting next few weeks coming up.  Over Labor Day I will be in Dallas, TX on a very special trip–visiting the place where I found my Life Purpose.  It just so happens that Dallas is also a special place for me for another reason–which I will be sharing the details of in the next newsletter.

I will be traveling to London, England on September 10th–my very first time in Europe!  I will be seeing clients from the UK in person on Monday September 15th.  If you or someone you know in the UK would like an in person session–please email

Warmly-

Shelley

What Do You REALLY Want

“Is that what you really want, or did nobody ask you?  Is that what you really think or did nobody care?  Is that who are you really are or did nobody notice?  Is that what you really want or did nobody dare?  Are these your most precious dreams, or did you leave them behind you, when you were a young one just to get through?” Lyrics from “Is That What You Really Want?” by Libby Roderick What are your deepest, most precious dreams?  Are they so buried that you have forgotten what they are?   Or do they see the light of day but get buried again?  Do you begin to pursue your dreams but negative thinking stalls the movement or you get sidetracked by other things?   We all have important dreams and when we pursue these dreams we are filled with passion and excitement.   When we lose track of these dreams and follow the well trodden path of “what you are supposed to do” there is a deadening of our spirits.  When I travel I like to be the last one on the airplane so I can see everyone when I walk on the plane.  What I notice when I look at all of the faces as I’m walking through is that there is a lackluster, autopilot, flat energy that three-quarters of the people on the plane usually have.  What I look for are the alive, passionate ones–they are like light bulbs beaming up from their seats—when I see them I breathe a sigh of relief and gratitude.  “Yes,” I think to myself, “There is hope”.  I think that because our individual energy affects the collective energy.  Those “light bulb” people add positive, uplifting energy to the collective energy on the airplane.  The more “light bulb” people on the planet, the higher the positive vibration of the collective energy.  If I would sit down and interview the light bulb people on the plane they would be the ones pursuing or living their deepest dreams and passions.  Is your light and passion hiding deep within you–or are you letting it shine and be free?   I work as a psychotherapist and I see my role as supporting my client’s light and passion to shine.  I utilize breathwork and a psychospiritual process called Inner Bonding.  In Inner Bonding we talk about the core essence—which is that bright shining light that you came into the world to be—it is your special creativity, your gifts, your unique intelligence, your caring, lovingness and compassion.   If your parents were not connected to their own unique essence and living from their essence, they could not see or support this in you.  They couldn’t see you clearly because they weren’t able to see themselves clearly.  In response to this most people develop what Inner Bonding refers to as wounded adult child parts to handle the environment with their disconnected parents.  The core essence than goes in hiding because of lack of support and the wounded adult child parts take over.     The wounded adult child parts absorb the fears and false beliefs that the parents have.  Some of the false beliefs are:  1. I’m unworthy just as I am–I have to be perfect to be loved  2. My worth is dependent on my performance—if I perform well I’m O.K. if I don’t I’m not O.K. 3.  I have to be what others want me to be to get love  4.  If other people are unhappy or upset it’s my fault and I have to do something to make them feel better.  As you can see these false beliefs lead one to be very outwardly focused—defining one’s worth through what other people think. When our focus is more on what OTHERS think we lose connection with what WE really think and who we really are (which is our core essence). This covering over of one’s core essence is exactly related to the disconnection with one’s dreams and passions.  Our core essence contains our true dreams and passions—our special purpose for being on the planet.  The process of Inner Bonding involves developing an Inner Loving Adult who can heal the false beliefs of the wounded adult-child and allow the true self, the core essence to come forward.   An Inner Loving Adult is essential in being able to fully allow the core essence to be expressed.  Most people don’t have a loving adult operating within themselves on a consistent basis; they are mostly operating out of wounded adult aspects of themselves. That is what is happening with the three-quarters of the people on the airplane with the flat energy–there is no loving adult taking action on the passions of the core essence–they are only operating from the fears of the wounded adult child.  The light-bulbs–the alive and passionate people– on the other hand are able to be the loving adult and tune into the voice of their core essence -and take action.   An example: Let’s say you knew your core essence wanted to dance to express itself creatively—if the wounded adult child was in charge the inner dialogue would sound like this:  “You can’t dance—You know how uncoordinated you are—You will make a fool out of yourself–What will people think!”  If there was an Inner Loving Adult the dialogue would sound like this: “I will fully support you to dance because I know how much you want to do this—Let’s just go and express ourselves and have fun—it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks—I will be there to talk lovingly to you as you try new things-it’s O.K. to make mistakes, that’s part of learning!”  As you read the different dialogues can you feel the difference in your body?  The first dialogue is harsh and critical and stops any creative energy—whereas the second dialogue is loving and accepting–supporting this creative energy to be expressed.  You can see if the wounded adult child is in charge that many of the dreams and passions are not going to get very far with this kind of critical inner dialogue.    I suggest to people that their job as the Loving Adult is to really tune into their core essence—tune into what they really want in this deepest part of them–and than to not lose sight of this–this is their deepest truth.  Their job is to take action on these deepest dreams and desires.  What is important is that you pursue these dreams not that you succeed at them.  What do you mean–you ask?  The wounded adult child self is concerned with outcome, performance, success/failure—because these are the ways to seek validation of the self.  The Loving Adult supports pursuing a dream as a way to express the self -for the joy of expressing—not for a particular outcome. The Loving Adult sees the beauty of the core essence and does not need others to see or validate it.   An example:  When I was a child I loved to play out scenes from movies with my friends.  I would be the director and have them act out different scenes that I was seeing in my mind.  I loved this and it felt very natural for me.  It was my core essence expressing itself through the creation of movie scenes.  My loving action as a loving adult is to pursue this passion in some form to continue this expression that I was so connected to as a child.  If my wounded self gets focused on outcomes it may say something like, “Do you know how hard it is to make films and to get into this field—What are you thinking?”  But if I pursue this from my loving adult the outcome is irrelevant—it is the joy of doing what I once loved again that is important.     The Loving Adult stays focused on the dreams of the core self and does get sidetracked by the fears and false beliefs of the wounded adult child.  Another example:  I have a client who is very clear that her essence would love to move to a warm climate.   She was taking steps to move towards this dream last winter (being a loving adult) but when spring/summer came along she began to enjoy the warm weather and stopped her planning for her move.  When I saw her in early fall she said, “I don’t think we are going to move. We are going to buy a house and do some other things I’m excited about.”   When we discussed what was happening it became clear that her wounded adult child was very fearful about moving and taking the risk of following her dream—so it came up with another plan which is what I call a “pacifier plan”.  A “pacifier plan” is substituting something good, but safe, in place of the real dream, the real deal.  She was able to see this and attend to the fears of the wounded self directly and make plans to reassure/calm her fears so she can stay on track with following her true dream, which is to move to a warm climate.   What are the dreams of your core essence, your true self?   Make a list of your dreams and passions.  It could be dreams you had as a child or dreams you have as an adult.  If you could live your life in any way you would like, how would you be living it?  Would you be living somewhere different?  Would you be working part-time or in a different job altogether?   Take time to unearth your deepest dreams.  One of the biggest obstacles to uncovering dreams is being too busy.  We need time to reflect and allow the true core essence to emerge.  A friend of mine who worked 60-70 hours a week since graduating from college 18 years ago made a conscious decision to take a significant pay cut to work the standard 40 hours.  After 6 months of being on his lighter schedule he said to me “I feel like I’m coming alive again—the last 18 years is a blur.”  Family members and friends started to notice his old self re-emerging.  It had been so long they had forgotten the playful, lighthearted guy they used to know.  Ask your friends what your dreams are.  Sound strange?   What I have noticed is sometimes people’s core essence will come out and reveal their true dream to a friend or family member and then it goes underground and the person forgets they even said it!  In this moment ask yourself what you really want.  Close your eyes and tune into your body and see what pops into your head.  This may be your first step to opening up to more of your aliveness and passion.  We need more alive, passionate shining Light Bulbs.  Won’t you let your light shine!

Niyo’s Tip of the Week Niyo is my four year old Golden Retriever!  Here is his message for this issue of the newsletter!  Mom says  ”No more Rawhide Bones!”"Yesterday I was eating part of a rawhide bone that my Mom gave me and instead of chewing it I swallowed the whole thing!  I was playing upstairs at my Mom’s friend Pamelas and she noticed that I was having a hard time breathing.  It didn’t bother me–but my Mom and Pamela were very worried so they brought me to the Animal Hospital. I hate going to the doctor –I got VERY afraid–my whole body started shaking and I tried to jump in my Mom’s lap–but she said I was too big to fit. She pet me and told me everything was going to be alright—but all I wanted to do was LEAVE.  Every time the door opened to go outside I tried to make a break for it.  We waited outside in the car and I felt safe in the car–but I did not want to go back in. I told my Mom I was feeling fine and we should just go home.  I eventually went back in and we met with the Doctor who was very nice to me.  She said that the rawhide was temporarily stuck in my throat–but it wasn’t anymore and my breathing was fine again.  She said to my Mom it would be a good idea to not give me those Rawhide Bones anymore.  I’m OK with that as long as I NEVER have to go to the Doctor again.   To learn more about Niyo, go here:  Niyo’s Notes

Last week I was at a transformational workshop in Las Vegas.  It was my first time in Las Vegas and I was surprised that I liked it.  I loved all of the dynamic energy–so many people and things to do and see.  I even liked the casinos–even though I didn’t play anything (imagine that   In the Workshop I attended we were put into small teams to work on projects–similiar in some ways to the apprentice.  Here is part of my team.

Stafford, Steve, Robin, Cara Michelle and Me

We had such a great team.  We laughed so hard and learned so much with each other–by the end we felt like family.  For more photos see posting below.

Warmly-
Shelley

Finding Your Life Purpose

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all”  Helen Keller “I have spent my life stringing and unstringing my instrument, and the Song I came here to Sing remains Unsung.”  Rabindranth Tagore We each have a special life purpose–something that we are called to do in this lifetime.  When you are on track with this you will feel a sense of peace and that you are on track with your life.  If you aren’t in alignment with your life purpose, you will feel restless and a sense that something is missing in your life.  If you don’t take steps to gain clarity about your life purpose and pursue this–you will begin to feel an increasing sense of feeling stuck.  Sometimes this will even lead to feelings of depression and anxiety.  Despite these uncomfortable feelings, many people still won’t take action.  Why would this be? Many people avoid discovering their life purpose because of the fear of the changes it might call them to make in their life.  They fear rocking the boat, upsetting the status quo and stepping out into the unknown.  They ask “What will my life look like living my life purpose?” and “Can I trust if I take the leap- I will succeed?” and “Can I make mon-ey at my life purpose?”  I believe the epidemic use of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication is a band-aid for the underlying issue of being disconnected from one’s true self–and one’s true purpose. Stifling and suppressing who we are and what we came here to do has consequences of making us feel despair, hopelessness and creating anxiety.  Our true self is filled with passion, creativity and a purpose that desires to be fully expressed. Are you following the path of your life purpose?  Do you feel filled with aliveness, vibrancy and excitement about your life? Are you taking the risks to find out your life purpose and to pursue it? What are the consequences of NOT doing it?   There is also an incredible loss of you not following your purpose–there is your own loss of the joy of following your passion–but also the loss of the people who will miss out on what you came to share.  Everyone loses—you and the world. Looking at some of the questions people typically have when trying to find their life purpose can help  you sort through some of the common fears and questions that may hold you back. Questions I get asked when people come to me wanting to find their life purpose. Will it be easy? Yes and no.  It will take hard work but you won’t mind because of you will enjoy what you are doing.  You are also willing to do some of the hard, tedious work because of the passion you have for what you are doing.  Your passion will carry you a long way.  That is why it must be something you are passionate about because it will allow you to preserve in the face of the hard work and challenges. Will I feel uncomfortable? Yes and no.  You will feel a sense of peace and deep knowing that you are on track and doing what you came here to do.  You will also be challenged to grow and expand beyond your comfort zone.  You may need to learn new skills–are you willing to be a beginner again?  You may be a novice at the skills you need to develop.  Are you willing to go to school, learn from others, read and study? Just because you may be a beginner doesn’t mean it’s not your life purpose or you can’t be successful.  A willingness to be a beginner and go through the learning process is an important part of pursuing your life purpose.   You may need to move past limiting beliefs about who you are and what you are capable of doing.  You will be called to release all the limitations that hold you back from manifesting your full potential.  You must be willing to heal and step into more of who you truly are.   It will be both exhilarating and at times scary —but well worth it! What if the people in my life don’t support me? Some people will be able to support you wholeheartedly and others—because of their own fears, won’t be as supportive.  Trust that as you move forward that the support will show up for you–reminding you that you are on track and not alone.  At times you may feel alone as you pursue your passion–but these times are opportunities for deepening your own connection with yourself and your spiritual support.  It is a time to go deep within and connect with the strength and vision of your own Spirit.  I also encourage people to look for a support group of like-minded people who are also pursuing their passions.  You can give and receive support from people who really understand what you are going through.  I offer these kind of structured groups to help people while they are in the process of finding and pursuing their life purpose.  Learning both to access your own inner strength and also getting enough support are essential to make the process easier for you. What if I can’t figure out my Life Purpose—what if I don’t have one? You cannot NOT have a life purpose.  Your life purpose will look different from someone else’s life purpose.  Let go of thinking it has to look a certain way to be your life purpose.  I find that people who struggle with figuring it out have not connected deeply enough with themselves to gain the clarity they need. If you are searching externally for your life purpose you will more than likely go around and around in your search.  You will find your purpose through getting to know the authentic you more.  We all have been trained to look externally for answers rather than connecting with the wisdom we have inside. Sometimes someone’s life purpose can be right underneath their nose.  I remember one time in a session with a client and she was going around and around about figuring out her life purpose.  I asked her to be quiet and connect with her Spirit and answer from her Spirit what her life purpose was—she stated it simply and clearly and opened her eyes in disbelief.  She didn’t think it could be that easy.  What was blocking her awareness was all of the clutter of the fears about pursuing her purpose.  She kept herself from knowing so she wouldn’t have to face her fears and take action to pursue her purpose. What if I pursue my Life Purpose and fail? You will be supported as you move in the direction of your life purpose.  The only thing that can block you is your own negativity and limited thinking.  The more you clear this away and operate from your authentic self you will succeed.  Your own negativity can cloud your vision of your next step and the opportunities all around you that are supporting you.  Your negativity can cause you to give up in the face of a challenge or obstacle.  Remember what I said above–you will be required to stretch and grow as you are living your purpose.  If in the face of an obstacle and you move into negativity and give up—you will fail.  But instead if you look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow—and continue to move forward–you will succeed. Persistence and perseverance are key in being successful at your life purpose.  Mark Victor Hanson and Jack Canfield presented their idea for the Chicken Soup for the Soul book to 100 publishers before it was accepted.  Can you stay true to your purpose in the face of rejection?  What I have found is that these kind of experiences can help people move more into a deeper belief in themselves and their purpose.  Do you have the courage to believe in yourself when no one around you believes in you?  Many successful people are successful because of their ability to do just that.  This belief in themselves allows them to persevere when others would give up. There is a book titled “The Luck Factor” by Richard Wiseman which documents the common traits of lucky and successful people.  One of the traits is that they would persist in the face of challenges and have confidence that the obstacles were actually helping them achieve their goals.  They viewed challenges differently than “unlucky” people.  He found that lucky people are able to transform their bad luck into good fortune by using different psychological techniques.  For example, they see the positive side of the challenge, they do not dwell on the challenge, they are convinced the situation in the long run will work out for the best and they take a proactive approach to the situation.  So your “Success” in following your life purpose will be determined a great deal by your own mindset and the positive action you take. Will I be able to make Mon-ey at my Life Purpose?(Mon-ey is spelled with a hyphen–otherwise this newsletter would get stuck in your spam filter:) Yes, and you have to be willing to learn how to do this.  For some professions, the path to making mon-ey is pretty straightforward and clear cut.  For other professions you may be doing something unique and so the path to make mon-ey may not be as clear.  It is important to find someone who comes close to what you want to do and is doing it very successfully and learn from them.  Or you can connect with a business development program in your area that supports people starting businesses.  They can be great resources on how to translate what your passion is into a mon-ey making business.  You may be a pioneer in the field and could use extra support and your own creativity to find a way to make mon-ey at your life purpose.  You may want to pursue a field that has a stereotype of not being lucrative–like: being an artist, musician, healer etc.  The good news is we are living in the era of the creative entrepreneur and thousands of people around the world are taking these professions into a new realm of mon-ey making possibility.  Find someone who is doing this and learn from what they are doing.  Use what they are doing as creative inspirations for your own ideas as well. What if my relationships change as I follow my purpose? Your relationships will change.  You are growing and expanding as you pursue your life purpose.  You have chosen the path of vitality and aliveness.  As you grow you will inspire those around you to grow and follow their dreams as well.  These relationships will get closer.  Other people may take longer to grow—or may grow in a way that is different then you.  Trust that the relationships that are meant to be long term for you will adapt and grow with the change.  As time goes on it will become clear which relationships are growing and which ones you are outgrowing.  Trust that when you get to that point of having to let go of some of your relationships it will be a natural letting go process that will just make sense.  There are some people we are meant to journey with our whole lives and some that come to be with us for a certain period of time.  I have seen clients who have stopped their own growth because they fear that if they keep growing they will outgrow their relationships.  It is unpredictable what will happen–you can’t guarantee that someone will not grow along with you–you will be surprised.  The only way to know for sure is to take the leap and trust that whatever happens will be in the highest good for everybody involved! What if I don’t have the talents or skills to do my Life Purpose? Trust that you have all that you need to fulfill your life purpose.  It wouldn’t be a desire of yours if you didn’t have the capabilities to do it.  Like I mentioned above you may need to learn new skills and work at it–but you will have the desire to do this because it is your life purpose.  Again, you may need to release false beliefs about yourself.  You may not be viewing your capabilities accurately.  You may be viewing yourself through the eyes of your conditioned self–which is full of false beliefs and distortions.  Doing some work to clear these distortions away and see yourself clearly will help open the door for your self-worth to soar.  You will be amazed at how much you are truly capable of. Now that you have more clear information about finding and pursuing your life purpose–are you ready to take the leap?  See if you can identify one small step to move towards finding and pursuing your life purpose.  It might be something like setting aside a few hours of quiet time for you to journal and connect with yourself.  Or it might mean doing research on an area that is of interest to you.  Write down what step you would like to take and make a promise to yourself to follow through and do it. If you need extra support I will be doing a three month Life Purpose Mentoring Program (a class that meets on the phone) titled “What Do You REALLY Want: Finding Your Life Purpose” starting in September. I will be unveiling the details of this program during the “Secrets of Finding Your Life Purpose” tele-class on Weds. August 13th at 7 p.m. Central.  I will also post information on my web-site later on Weds. Wishing you all the best on finding and aligning with your unique Life Purpose!

Niyo’s Tip of the Week Niyo is my four year old Golden Retriever!  Here is his message for this issue of the newsletter!    “Way too much stress for a dog”ANNOUNCEMENT: Mr. Niyo Chow Marshmallow has resigned from the position of CEO of Radiant Life Counseling–here is his letter of resignation. Dear Mom and Kristin (my Mom’s assistant)-Please accept this as my resignation from being the CEO of Radiant  Life Counseling.  All of the responsibility and decisions just wore me out.  I decided that it was not in alignment with my Life Purpose -which is to love people, play a lot and sleep.  It was fun for a little bit but now it is time for me to get back to doing what I am supposed to be doing–which is loving people and being a goofball!  Love- Niyo  To learn more about Niyo, go here:  Niyo’s Notes

This is a picture of my dog Niyo this past summer at my parents cottage.  He is looking up at me and barking because he wants me to throw this thing called a flying squirrel (it is like a canvas frisbee) into the lake so he can swim out and get it.  He LOVES doing this and could do it until my arm fell off from throwing it!  Dogs are good teachers for us because they gravitate towards what is fun and then do it till their hearts content (or until their owners arm falls off:)  It is so simple for them to follow what they love.  We too did this when we were children.

I saw a perfect example of this when I was visiting Duke Botanical Gardens in North Carolina last May.  I was sitting on a hill watching some kids running around and playing at the bottom of the hill.  (I actually have a picture of these kids by my article “Are You Having Fun Yet?”)  They were having so much fun and I had fun just watching them.  Nearby where I was sitting there was a group of teachers and kids sitting on the grass–it was fairly quiet and the kids looked quite bored. I could see the kids looking longingly at the kids playing at the bottom of the hill.  One of the kids couldn’t stand it anymore and started slinking away from their group to move towards the playing kids.  As he moved away one of the teachers started calling his name “Jimmy, you get back to the group.”  Jimmy conveniently didn’t hear the teacher and kept moving towards the playing kids.  The teacher yelled louder “Jimmy, get back here now!”  Just as she said that he broke away and began running towards the kids.  Inside I was saying “Go Jimmy Go!”

The teacher didn’t realize that he wasn’t doing anything wrong he was just going to where the fun was.  Kids are innately drawn to what is  fun,  to what brings them Joy.  But you can see the dynamic of him being punished for following this will have an impact on him as he grows up.  Instead of following what he loves he will instead try to please those around him with what he thinks they want him to do.  Can you see how people can get sidetracked from this innate mechanism of following what you love.  It could be messages from parents or teachers that communicate that following what you love takes you away from what they think you are supposed to be doing.

Notice if this is a dynamic inside of you.  You may have had so many years of not following what you love that you forgot what those things even are.  Or you know what you love but you don’t give yourself permission to do these things more often.  See if you can reconnect with what you love to do give yourself permission (like Niyo does) to do these things to your hearts content!  What do you love to do?  I would love to hear from you!  I love to DANCE, SING, LAUGH, WRITE, CUDDLE…………………………………………..