Love Your Body

December 13th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“I Love My Body because it houses my beautiful Spirit.”
Beth, 30

“I Love My Body because it is a work of art that I see as beautiful, and something I know no one else could ever duplicate.”
Francesca, 18

Why do you Love Your Body? Do you love your body because like Beth stated above, it houses your magnificent soul? Do you love your body because it enables you to experience the richness of life with all of your senses? Do you love your body because it allows you to create things, hug others and enjoy the pleasure of movement?

I’m not asking you IF you love your body but WHY you love your body. I want to start the conversation about loving your body with the why, not the if—to get you to shift your thinking in that direction immediately. People, women in particular—perhaps you the reader –have spent far too many precious moments of life criticizing and trying to change your body rather than truly loving and accepting the gift of your body!

The challenge that most women face around loving their body is the cultural conditioning around the ideal body for women. There was a popular ad for “The Body Shop”, the skin and hair care products company, which stated “There are 3 billion women who don’t look like supermodels and only 8 who do.” This ad highlighted that what is promoted as the ideal, normal body for women is actually the normal body for only a very small percentage of women.

Yet, this image is continuously portrayed in advertising, on magazine covers and in the actresses we see in movies and on television. It is a distortion of reality that ends up creating a situation where women feel inadequate and that there is something wrong with their body for not looking like this. It causes women to judge and try to change their body by dieting, plastic surgery and many other ways of trying to get their body to look like the ideal. This cultural conditioning is hurtful and has a very toxic effect on women and girls. It is toxic because instead celebrating and loving their unique shape they are judging it against the promoted ideal.

According to the Social Issues Research Centre, “More than 80% of 4th graders have been on a fad diet.” It is sad to see the pressure that young girls feel to start to mold their bodies into the ideal, rather than using this energy to learn, explore and just be happy and content being themselves. Because of the profound impact of this cultural conditioning it is important for women and girls to become conscious of this programming and to have the courage to step out of the dictates of these unrealistic body expectations. So one of the first and most important guideline to truly Love Your Body is to take back the power to define your own beauty.
Tips to help you Love Your Body:

1. Take the Power back to define your own Beauty– Not only taking it back for the cultural/media definitions but also from people around you in your life who have made judgmental remarks about your body. These people weren’t able to see the beauty of your body because they had absorbed the cultural definitions themselves—and were judging you and probably their own body against these standards as well. Take a moment now to close your eyes and imagine taking back the power to define the beauty of your own body. Take it back from the cultural definitions and the media—in your mind state “I will not allow you to define what my body should look like anymore.”  Think back to people that have made negative comments to you about your body—a family member, a romantic partner or other kids when you were little. Say to them in your mind “I take back the power to define the beauty of my own body—your comments were distortions and untrue—and I no longer give them any power.” Feel how good this feels to clear yourself of all of this negativity and distortion.

2. Clear Your Own Negative Beliefs about Your Body– Because of your exposure to the cultural conditioning about the supposed ideal female body—you probably have practiced self-judgment of your body for not conforming to the promoted “ideal.” These judgments and negative beliefs are again distortions and not based on the truth of the unique beauty of your own body. We all have bodies of different sizes and shapes that are special and truly beautiful.

Let go of your own rigid beliefs about how your body should look and begin to see how the very things that are different about your body are the very things that make you unique and beautiful. Write down the negative messages that you say to yourself about your body. Imagine writing them down to release them from your consciousness. Get them all out—the most negative hurtful ones you can think of. Look at these messages—notice how you would never dream of saying these things to anyone else in your life. Look at all of these messages and apologize to your body saying “I’m so sorry that I said these hurtful things to you—I promise that I will not say these things to you again and I will start loving you instead.” Look at these messages again and with an intention to fully release them—tear up the sheet of paper and throw it away.Some people like to build a fire outside and burn the paper as a way of releasing this negativity.

3. Exercise for the Joy of Feeling Your Body Move- When you exercise to eliminate fat from your body and/or to compensate for calories eaten—this can come from a place of fear and have an energy of trying to control and fight against your body. Imagine exercising for the joy of moving your body and from an intention to be loving to your body—a desire for it to be healthy and have more energy. The clients I work with around this issue tend to be able to maintain an exercise program if they do it from a place of joy and self-love rather than control and fear about their weight. Notice if there are things in your life that you don’t do for fear of people seeing your body—like swimming, dancing or any other activity. Remind yourself that you deserve to do the things you enjoy no matter what your shape. Let go of what others think of you and stay focused on the fact that you have every right to do the things you enjoy.

4. Remind Yourself What the Purpose of Having a Body Is-Your body is yours to fully experience life, to take it in and enjoy it. Your body is a vehicle for you to experience life with all of your senses. Your body allows you: to feel a warm breeze on your skin, feel the cool water in a lake when you swim, see all of the vivid colors of a sunset, hear all of the beauty of music, to hear the sounds of birds and trees moving in the wind, feel the softness of someone’s hand, feel the joy of dancing, taste and enjoy delicious food, express yourself through a smile, tears or laughter. Your body is for you, not for others to critique or judge. You are not here as a display for others, but as a fully embodied human being with deeper, richer qualities than just your appearance.

5. When You Look in The Mirror—Look at Yourself Through Loving Eyes- For many women looking in the mirror turns into an exercise of self-judgment. They zero in on all of their perceived flaws and what they feel is “wrong” with their body or face. Again the criteria they are judging themselves against is this unrealistic ideal that is promoted in the media. I have many clients who when they first started working with me said that they couldn’t look in the mirror because all they saw were these perceived flaws. I suggest that they shift this by instead looking at themselves in the mirror through loving eyes. An example would be if you look in the mirror and see a wrinkle that you would ordinarily judge—look at this wrinkle with love and compassion—and even see the beauty of this wrinkle. Set a clear intention to see yourself through the lens of love—interrupt the self judgment and move into being very loving with yourself. This will be something that you need to practice before it becomes a habit—but it will be well worth the effort because you will begin to feel really wonderful about yourself.

6. Have Your Self-Esteem be Internally Referenced– Have your self-esteem be based on your internal qualities rather than your external appearance. What are the qualities that make you—you? Is it your compassion, your unique creativity, your intelligence, your capacity to have fun, your wisdom, your perceptiveness, your capacity to listen to people or your loving heart? Think of the people that you love in your life. You love them for who they are—the unique Spirit that they are—not for what they look like. That is how they feel about you—they love you for who you are and all of the special qualities that make up you. Learn to value yourself for the substance of you—not for the physical form that you travel around in.

7. Explore the deeper reason for the preoccupation with your appearance/weight. Sometimes when someone is preoccupied with their appearance it may be an avoidance mechanism for deeper, more painful feelings. Check in with yourself and see if this might be the case. If in your childhood things were painful for you and out of control, you may have learned to focus on your weight as a way to avoid the loneliness and helplessness of what was happening around you. Or maybe there is a painful issue in your life today that you don’t have the courage to face—like a challenging relationship or lack of purpose in your life. A preoccupation with your appearance distracts you from facing these issues. If this is the case for you, it is important for you to get support for yourself to open up to face these feelings directly. You can get this support through taking the risk to reveal your feelings to a trusted friend or working with a counselor who can help you work through these feelings.

8.Eliminate Comparing Yourself to Others-The energy of comparison and competition is hurtful to yourself and the other person. Doing this is just another form of putting yourself down and will not help you to feel good but will make you feel even worse. Vow to not participate in this kind of energy. Instead if you see someone who is attractive—instead of comparing yourself to this person or judging them—state instead—“She is attractive and so am I.” Celebrate that other person and yourself too. You will find this feels so much better than comparing yourself to them or being critical.

9. Take One of the Areas of Your Body You Typically Judge and Take a Week to Fully Love This Part of You– Spend 15 minutes a day looking at this part of your body and find things to love about it, better yet, do it throughout the day. The more challenging it is to do this, the more you need to do it! I read in a book about a woman who did this exercise and after a week of doing it a stranger came up to her and told her how beautiful this part of her body was! When we transform our own way of seeing ourselves—it transforms the way others see us as well. You want your first intention of doing this exercise to be the shift in your own self-love, not to have the effect on how others view you. How you view you is always going to be what is most important.

10. Decide That You Are Beautiful and Practice Being Beautiful- You get to decide if you are beautiful or not. If like I stated above you have taken your power back to define your own self than why don’t you claim your own beauty! Take a day and repeat to yourself “I am Beautiful”. Do things that make you feel beautiful—wear something special—that you love and feel great in. Walk like you are beautiful. Look in the mirror and say “I am beautiful.” This may feel awkward at first but continue to do this until you really start to believe it.

Celebrate who you are and your beautiful, unique body. We need women who are seeing and celebrating their own beauty—it helps other women who are stuck in negativity about their body see that there is another more joyful path to take—the path of true self-love!

Are You Trying to Go It Alone?

December 11th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“We need each other to Fly!”

 

“I can do it on my own”.  Is that a phrase that runs through your mind? This very phrase can be keeping you very stuck in your life.

 

When we are attempting to make positive changes in our life–desiring to move into our full potential–we can get stuck in thinking that we can do this all on our own.  And then we get frustrated because we can’t make these changes and start to beat ourselves up.

 

The reality is that to make changes in our life–the kinds of changes that will really make a difference–we need support—and lots of it.  The reason for this is our Conditioned Self–our false beliefs, fears, old programming is very strong and oftentimes very invisible to us.  That is why it is so easy to get stuck.

 

We need healthy support around us–people that are capable of pointing out to us—“Are you aware that you are doing this—that you are getting in your own way?”  Someone flashing the light on what we cannot see because we are too close to it.

 

One of the reasons that I love what I do so much is that I get to do this for my clients every day. After years of working with clients I am able to see very quickly what is getting in their way, what is keeping them stuck–and I am able to share this with them so they can start to quickly move forward again.

 

The other key thing that support can do for us is see the Grand Possibilities of who we are and what is possible in our life. Our Conditioned Self has a very limited perception of who we really are and what is truly possible for us.

 

I am able to see clients clearly and see the larger possibility for their lives. I am able to offer them “believing eyes” to help them move into their own Self-Belief–and to see their true potential.

 

I recommend on-going support for clients in one form or another—either individual work,  or in a group, or by attending a Workshop. The most successful clients I have are the ones that get the most support.  They innately know they need it and they love themselves enough to make sure they are getting enough of it.
So love yourself enough to get the support you need to really move forward in your life–you absolutely deserve it!

What is The Overeating About?

November 27th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

Carol was in her 40’s and struggled with her weight since she was a child.  She binged on sweets and couldn’t seem to control herself.  She called me for some phone sessions to address this issue.  In the first session it became clear what the inner dynamic was that was fueling her desire for the sweets.

Carol was very hard on herself and put pressure on herself to be perfect all of the time.  She felt if she was perfect she would then be loveable and acceptable to the people around her.  This was a reflection of the way her Mom treated her.  When she was young her Mom didn’t see her clearly-and put pressure on her to be perfect–the message was “If you are perfect, then I will love you and accept you.”  Because of the pain of not being loved unconditionally for who she really was and the pressure from her Mom to be perfect- she began to use sweets as a child to comfort herself.

This pattern continued into adulthood and was confusing for Carol because her Mom was no longer in her life and she was surrounded by people who truly did love her unconditionally.  Carol was able to realize that she had a conditioned part of her that was just like her Mom-putting pressure on her to be perfect and not seeing her own intrinsic worth and loveability just as she was.  This pressure was creating a lot of anxiety within her and to cope with it she overate the sweets to comfort herself.

Once she recognized this she was able to shift into being more loving and supportive with herself-much like she was able to be with her own children.  She gave herself messages like “It’s OK to be you, you are loveable just the way you are.”  “It’s OK not to be perfect-just relax and be yourself-you are enough just as you are.” As she gave herself these new messages she felt herself relax for the first time in years and stopped having the intense craving for sweets.  She was able to understand this and heal this long-standing issue in only two sessions!

What I love about looking at the inner dialogue is that it helps to gain insight and clarity into the inner dynamic that is fueling our feelings and behavior.  This clarity is about 70% of the healing.  This morning as I worked with a client and we developed clarity about a long-standing pattern of hers–the feeling or incredible relief in the room was palpable.  Now with awareness of the inner dynamic she had a clear path for healing and shifting the dynamic that was causing her so much pain.

Notice a long standing patterns of yours.  What do you think you are saying to yourself on the inner level that is fueling this pattern–can you track the sequence of it.  Example:  I say this to myself–my reaction is this (ex. anxiety)-to deal with this reaction I then do this.

We are talking to ourselves all of the time–having inner dialogues that are either loving and supportive–or critical and hurtful.  This type of inner reflection helps to bring these dialogues to conscious awareness so that you can make decisions to shift these dialogues to being more supportive to you.

Take the Leap…….and FLY!

November 22nd, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“The dream was always running ahead of me.  To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle. “    Anais Nin

 

What would you do if you were not afraid?  What risks would you take in your life?  What would it look like to take a leap in your life?  Many of us spend most of our time creating what we think of as safety and security in our life—having a job that pays well, having a home, saving for the future, keeping our relationships the same etc.  Essentially establishing and maintaining the status quo.

Now there is nothing wrong with this except that many people tend to error on the side of not knowing when it is time to make a change—when it is time to take a leap.  You see we are expansive Spirits who are here to grow, learn and express our full potential.  These signals that our Spirit wants to grow are very subtle and can be easily covered over by the voice of what we “should” be doing in our life.  When this happens it can lead to problems in our lives.

Here are some Signals that you may need to take a leap in your life:

  1. The biggest Signal is that you feel stuck and stagnant.  Because we are meant to grow and expand when we stop this expansion we will feel the energy inside of us start to get “stuck”.
  2. You tend to worry a lot. There is a lot of creative energy that wants to move within you and create—if you stop this energy from creating it has nowhere to go but into another activity like worry.  So stop worrying and start creating!
  3. You are over focused on other people and their problems. Because you don’t have a compelling leap you are making in your life you have no focal point for your energy—so you can get easily distracted by other people’s problems.  If you find yourself repeatedly caught about in other people’s issues—it is a signal you need to take leap in your own life.
  4. You feel depressed.  There is passion and dreams within you that long to be felt and expressed.  If you put a lid on these—you hold this energy back and you will feel depressed.
  5. You are jealous of other people and what they are doing in their own lives. This is another signal that you have untapped dreams inside of you.  Treat your jealousy as a gift, a signal that you have so much more inside of you that wants to be expressed— much more than you ever could imagine!
  6. You have low energy.  When you are not growing and expanding your energy starts to get dull and stagnate—which makes it even harder to start to make changes.  The key is to move out of your inertia to begin to make the changes that your Spirit is calling to make—and to keep moving forward.
  7. You are easily irritated and frustrated. Your Spirit can get a little cranky if you are not heeding its call for you to move forward in your life.  You can blame it on your job, your mate, your kids, your relatives—but it all comes down to the core issue—you must listen to your Spirit and begin to express this beautiful energy or you will be very frustrated.
  8. You feel hopeless. Your Spirit may be signaling that you need to Leap—but your conditioned self—your fears– block you from taking any action.  Just like a little kid who wants something so badly and the parents are ignoring these desires— and not doing anything about them—the child begins to feel hopeless.  The same dynamic operates inside of you.  Not listening to the voice of your Spirit over and over can lead to the same kind of hopeless resignation.  Instead listen to your Spirit and take action on these desires and you will feel your hope and excitement for the future begin to soar.

 

Learning to Fly—Flying Lessons

Lesson One: If you are confused what your Leap would be ask yourself “What is one thing that my Spirit has been quietly telling me to do for years—that I have been ignoring?”  It could be something small—like “My Spirit has been telling me to exercise regularly for years”.  Take action on this information because there is a wisdom in your Spirit—it knows what step needs to happen first—and this step will lead to the next—and then to the next.  Before you know it these smaller steps will build a momentum that will lead you to even bigger leaps.

 

Lesson Two: Know that you will be uncomfortable as you take your Leaps and learn to Fly.  Use this statement to help yourself “I am willing to be uncomfortable to make the changes I need to make.”  The more you acknowledge that uncomfortableness is just part of the process—not a signal that you need to stop—you will be able to continue to move forward.  The more you do this the more comfortable you will get with the uncomfortableness.

Lesson Three: Keep Your Eye on the Prize.  As you take your Leap there will be things that may appear that seem like obstacles in your path.  Your job is to keep focused on where you are going and NOT to get sidetracked into over focusing on these obstacles.  When I work with clients and this happens—the more they stay on track with their vision of where they are going—the more easily these apparent obstacles just fall away.

Lesson Four: As You Leap You Will begin to Adjust to a Higher, Lighter Vibration and your Body will shed dense energy so you Can Move Higher.  This can manifest in getting physically sick for a brief time as your body adjusts and releases the dense energy you have been carrying.  After you get better you will feel better than you did before you got sick—you will have upleveled.  You can also release this denser energy through feeling emotions of sadness, fear and anxiety.  Again these emotions will quickly move through and you will feel lighter and more free after they pass through. Remember the lighter you are—the easier it is to fly!

Lesson Five:  You will feel VERY supported as you take action and Leap.  Once you make the decision and leap you will feel amazing levels of support come to you from the Universe.  Clients of mine who had been sitting on the sidelines for years contemplating their leap are blown away with how supported they feel when they finally take action.  They say to me “If I knew it was going to feel this wonderful I would have made this change years ago!”  You will feel support from other people, circumstances will come together to support you in miraculous ways, doors will fly open, signals come that let you know you are on track.  You will meet people who are your “flying partners”—people on your path that are uniquely supporting you by giving you enthusiastic encouragement and also practical support and information.

Lesson Six: As you Leap and Begin to Fly you will Feel a Special Joy. You are meant to be flying—soaring in your life.  There is a special joy that is natural to our Spirits when we align with what we are meant to be doing in our life.  It is a joyful, fulfilling feeling that we are on track in our life—exactly where we are meant to be.  It is what everyone is longing for—and for good reason—this is the feeling that you are meant to be feeling each and every day.

So listen to the subtle—or not so subtle signals that you are meant to take a leap in your life.  Listen and leap—trusting that as you jump you will feel a sweet support and a cheering surrounding you –lifting you to fly even higher into the magnificent life that is meant especially for you!

Are You Afraid of Your Potential?

October 30th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“There is a power inside every human–against which no earthly force is of the slightest consequence.”  Neville Goddard

Are you hiding your own magnificence under lock and key?  Do you feel like you have so much more you want to do and express in your life?  You feel the “there is so much more for me than this feeling?”

You know that changes need to be made but at the same time you feel AFRAID–and this stops you in your tracks.  You start to:

*Procrastinate

*Doubt yourself

*Overeat

*Waste time

*Get scattered

*Worry about someone else

*Get sidetracked with someone else’s agenda

*Get sick or have an accident

Why are you afraid of your Potential–of being all that you came here to be— expressing your gifts and Life Purpose full out?

Here is what I have discovered are at the core of this Fear for people:

1. I’m afraid of really being SEEN because if I am visible I will be: hurt, judged, told I am a fake, told I don’t know what I am talking about, told I am bad, told I am wrong for what I am doing, lightning may even strike me:)

2. I’m afraid that my life will change and that I won’t like it:  I won’t be as close to my family, my partner and I will grow apart, I won’t have enough time with my kids,  I won’t have any free time, I will lose what I love in my life

3. I’m afraid things will change and others close to me won’t like it: my partner will leave, my kids will get angry with me, my friends will be resentful, my family will judge me

4. I’m afraid I won’t know what to do–I will be overwhelmed with the new and will feel lost: what if I can’t do it, what if I fall flat on my face, what if I’m just not talented enough, what if I make a fool out of myself?

5. I am afraid I am not ready now I have to: go back to school, take another class, learn this new process, practice some more (maybe a few more years:), I have to wait until I am not afraid,  I’m plain just not ready now!

6. I am afraid that the Universe and other people won’t support me: The Universe is against me, other people will not support me, I’m doing this all alone–it feels so big and I feel small, as I move forward I will get resistance rather than support.

Can you see yourself in some of these fears?  These are the core fears of you holding yourself back from your Potential and Dreams.

 

Why You Are Stuck

October 23rd, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“Don’t ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”    Howard Thurman

Do you feel stuck in your life?  Do you feel there is something more for you in your life but you don’t know what that is?  Or you know what it is but you don’t know how you are going to get there?  The “feeling stuck“ feeling is an important feeling to pay attention to.  It is a signal that something needs to change in your life—but the change first needs to begin on the inner level.  You see we are all meant to live magnificent lives filled with joy and purpose—we are actually hard wired for this.  The stuck feeling is giving you a signal that you are out of alignment with your true self—your Authentic self.

Your Authentic self is the truest you—the you that you intended to be when you came here.  Your Authentic self is already filled with Joy and knows it’s purpose on the planet—this is already within you—it is not contained outside of you—where many people get sidetracked looking.

So many of the clients I work with feel a sense incredible untapped potential within them that is just not being expressed.  They feel the frustration of this knowingness– coupled with confusion they feel about how to tap into this energy and express it more meaningfully in their lives.  The most powerful thing that I share with them that begins to transform their lives immediately is beginning to distinguish the voice of their conditioned self (all the fears, false beliefs and patterns they have been taught) from the voice of their Authentic Self.

Many listen to the voice of their Conditioned Self and allow this voice to dictate their decisions in life.  Listening to this voice will lead to confusion, lack of confidence, unwillingness to take risks, despair, anxiety and even anger.  This voice will keep you stuck in old patterns and situations that aren’t good for you for YEARS.  The Joy that is inside of you will not be able to be felt or expressed with this Voice running the show.

To start to get you to distinguish this voice from your Authentic Voice—here are some examples:

1. Conditioned Self Voice“You better stay right where you are right now, it’s safe, secure and the money is good—don’t rock the boat.The economy is bad and you should be lucky you even have a job.”

Authentic Self Voice-“I’m so excited to find my life purpose!I know there is something special I am meant to do—I can just feel it and I can’t wait to figure it out.I am going to sign up for the Life Purpose Mentoring Program so I can start moving forward as soon as possible.I am so excited—what an adventure this will be!”

2. Conditioned Self Voice“I probably don’t have a Life Purpose—life is just meant to be how it is now—not awful—but not really great either.I think I want too much in my life.”

Authentic Self Voice- “I know life can be better—I can feel it inside of me.I have made positive changes in my life and I can do it again.I am willing to take the risks to be all that I came here to be and I know I will be supported as I step out in faith”

3. Conditioned Self Voice“I could never make money at my Life Purpose –that is just a pie in the sky dream there are only a few lucky people who get to do this.I better just stay realistic and resign myself to what I am doing now—it’s not so bad

Authentic Self Voice-“I know I can make money at my Life Purpose.  I might need to learn some new things and grow in different ways—but I am willing to do it because I LOVE what I am doing.  And remember the phrase “Do What You Love and the Money will Follow”  I will remember this as I move forward.I am so excited—it is going to be even better than I imagine!

4. Conditioned Self Voice-I don’t think we are supposed to be happy.  I see everyone around me and they are just as unhappy as me—that is just life.

Authentic Self Voice“Happiness is meant for me and everyone else and I am going to open up fully to my happiness and live fully now.  No more waiting on the sidelines—I am going to make choices that support what brings me happiness–NOW.  I will be a role model for others to move into their happiness too—won’t that be fun!

5. Conditioned Self Voice- “I can’t do that because……….I”m too old, too young, don’t have the money, don’t have the time, I will fail, I will succeed, I don’t deserve it, it’s too late, I don’t know what will happen, I will regret it, I’m scared, I will do it later…….

Authentic Self Voice-“I CAN do it because………I have what it takes, I deserve to be happy, I say so, it is my time to really live, now is the time, I’m not going to hold back anymore, It will be a success no matter what happens, I will be supported by the Universe every step of the way.

See how different you feel reading each of these statements?  Feel the heaviness and constriction of the Conditioned Self and on the other hand the lightness, joy and expansiveness of the Authentic Self.

Use these examples to track the voices inside of you-–practice labeling the voice of the Conditioned Self and begin to NOT listen to it.  Instead–Listen to that soft, subtle, joyful, hopeful, light voice of the Authentic Self inside of you—it will lead you on a path of more Joy, Love, Peace, Lightness and sweet Adventure—the kind of life you were meant to live!

Listen to Your Intuition

September 27th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

“Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out.”  Michael Burke
When is the last time you had an intuition, a knowing about something?  What did you do with that knowing–did you listen to it–even though it may have gone against the thoughts of your logical mind?  Or did you push it aside and ignore it?
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Your life will go much smoother and easier if you allow your decisions to be guided by the wisdom of your intuition.  So often when I meet with clients the voice of their intuition has been stifled for years by the chatter in their mind.  And the more their intuition is stifled–they end of making decisions based on the fears and false beliefs of their mind.  These decisions will not lead to the happiness and fulfillment they are seeking.
If you have lost your connection with your intuition–you will feel lost in life.  Your intuition is  your built in navigational system designed to guide you on your true path.  If this has happened how do you reconnect?
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Here are some tips to be able to hear the voice of your intuition more clearly.
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  • Have periods throughout the day when your mind is free of thoughts.  Just clear your mind and sit in the silence.  Your intuition is subtle and to hear it you need to be quiet.
  • A good time of day to connect with your intuition can be when you just wake up.  This time when your mind is still somewhat asleep–allows a space for your intuition to come through.  So next time you wake up–instead of jumping out of bed–just spend some moments in the silence and start to sense what your intuition is trying to tell you.
  • Many times intuition is felt in the body.  Become familiar with how you feel yours.  Many people feel their intuition in their belly and that is why they say “I have a gut feeling about this”.  Tune into the sensations that communicate your intuition.
  • Carry around a small notebook throughout the day and jot down when you have an intuitive awareness.  The more you look for and pay attention to your intuition–the stronger it will get for you.
So once you are reconnected with your intuition they key thing now is to listen to it and take action on what it is telling you.  How often have you had an intuition and went against it and ended up really regretting it?
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Develop a relationship with your intuition.  Understand how it communicates with you and then start to trust it.
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Your intuition is a deeper wisdom that is able to assess a situation more quickly and accurately than your logical mind.
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Have a willingness to trust your intuition even if it might not make sense to your logical mind.  Say to yourself and others “I am doing this because it feels right to do”–and leave it at that without having to “explain” yourself.
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Become friends with your intuition and let it guide you to an easier and more joyful life!

Guess Who is On Your Side

September 25th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

When you bump up against challenges in your life–how do you respond?  Do you fall into negativity saying–“this always happens to me–things never go my way”.  Or are you able to stay positive and affirm that whatever is happening is ultimately going to be a good thing for you.

I believe one of our opportunities as we journey through our lives is to determine what our mindset will be in the face of challenges.  Many of us can adopt a similar pattern of how to handle challenges as our parents did.

So notice if that is what happens for you.  Do you get angry like your Dad did when things don’t go your way–or are faced with a challenge?  Do you avoid what is happening like your Mom did?  Do you vent or complain but never take positive action?  Just for a moment notice what pattern you tend to have in the face of challenges.

I had a client years ago that when she faced a challenging situation she would imagine  the worst case scenario immediately.  When she did this—it would stress her out tremendously and as she would say “I just freak out.”

What we uncovered at the root of this reaction was a belief that the world was against her–and she had to really fight for what she wanted.  This stemmed from her experience as a child of her parents not supporting the things she truly desired–and that she had to fight to get what she wanted.

Her reaction was an old response mirroring how things used to be for her when she was younger.  We discussed that her experience had shaped her experience of how she felt about the world—and even how she felt about her spiritual connection.  Instead of the Universe and her spiritual connection being supportive of her—she felt like they were somehow against her.

We did some work to help her connect more with the truth by doing some guided imagery for her to connect more directly with her spiritual connection.  By doing this she was able to experience this incredible unconditional love and support—in a way that she never had felt before.

She began to see that her spiritual connection was on her side and wanted only the very best for her.  She realized her parents were operating from closed hearts and their own fears—but not from how the Universe and our spiritual connection truly operates.

We all have this kind of loving support around us each and every moment.  Whatever your spiritual beliefs are—you are surrounded by love and support all of the time.  The Universe is truly on our side.  The more you open up to this in your own life you can trust that when challenging things happen that the Universe does want you to “win” and even if on the surface it appears “bad”—these events are ultimately leading you to good things.

When challenging things happen see if you can affirm to yourself “I trust—the Universe is on my side and this will ultimately lead to good things for me.”

9 Self-Esteem Exercises – #9

September 18th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

Hello-

One of the things that will hold you back from feeling good about yourself is expectations of perfection. Do you put pressure on yourself to do things perfectly or to be perfect?  See if you can watch yourself carefully to see if you are doing this because it puts unrealistic pressure on yourself—it also sets you up to self-judge if you fall short of your perfectionist expectations. 

See if you can loosen things up for yourself and let yourself be imperfect and to do things imperfectly.  You will find yourself relaxing more and just letting yourself be yourself–-and you are WONDERFUL just the way you are—you don’t need to prove it with being perfect.

Today—relax and just let yourself be you—letting go of expectations of perfection!

9 Self-Esteem Exercises – #8

September 13th, 2012, by Shelley Riutta

Hello!

When is the last time you reached out for support? I work with people on developing a Loving Adult on the inner level that is attending to their feelings and taking loving actions on their own behalf.  We also need support from others.  So it is the job of the Loving Adult to determine when it is time to reach out to others.

The wounded self—the conditioned part of us may think that reaching out is a bad thing–that others will think we are weak or will let us down etc.—so it is better to “just do it on our own.”  If you follow the wounded self and don’t reach out you will feel alone and isolated–on top of struggling with whatever you are struggling with.  Reaching out to others will help you open up to connection–to know that you are not alone and that someone cares about you and is supporting you.  Many of our wounded states are related to feeling somehow different and set apart from everyone else in our suffering.  So reaching out and connecting in of itself is very healing and will help you shift into a better place.

Spirit works through other people as well as coming from your own guidance. The information that would be helpful to you is always trying to get through to you.  It can be our own negative states that lower our frequency and make it difficult to receive this information. So reaching out to others will allow helpful information to come through to you that you may be blocking because you are having a difficult time.

Give yourself the gift of reaching out to others for support when you need it.

 

 

Hi, I'm Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC a Holistic Psychotherapist in private practice. I specialize in helping people connect with their Authentic selves--and from this create a life that is in alignment with their Life Purpose and filled with Joy. I offer transformational individual counseling, presentations, groups and Workshops. You can get my Free Workbook "What Do You REALLY Want: Finding Purpose and Passion in Your Life" here or contact me at 877-346-1167.
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